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The Mother who Wasn't, and Who Was

Updated on September 23, 2012

"I've got a good mother, and her voice is what keeps me here." Jann Arden

I'm sitting, waiting and watching

over the mother

the mother who wasn't, but who was in so many ways.

And as I watch her final struggles

I hurt and I weep for her tortured soul!


I see the signs, and it hurts so very much

The mother who just a few short days ago

hollered at and berated me

The mother who tells me now "you know how much I love you"



The Good Mother

Her mouth opens like a bird

as I spoon applesauce in

the way she did for me years ago

And she takes a drink or two

It's all she can do.

And my heart hurts!

For the Mother who wasn't, but who was in so many ways.



I have a good mother and her voice is what keeps me here

The mother who wasn't, but always was

In so many little ways

We have a history, it's what we share

and what we know

That in the end she is my mother

And I will miss her so!

"The Good Mother"

For My Mother

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    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      And of course , I am sorry for your loss , it hurts no matter what the outcome of closure or not ! Be well and know thatyou did the right thing !........Ed

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Yes, horseback. I believe we are here to learn life's lessons, and I am hoping that I have been learning them well enough! We have to learn to forgive - not only others, but ourselves too. :)

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      We are lucky , those of us that find , and even force closure ! Yes ?....:-}

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Yes, mom passed away this January 2nd, and I am so happy that I came around full circle in this last decade or two. I have no regrets with her - and can remember good things. Thank you for reading and commenting. : )

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      When they are gone ,we DO forget most of the painful things and remember most of the good ! And thank god we do !.......Ed

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you Sis - when she is gone - I will choose to remember mostly the good memories. I feel it would be an awful burden to carry, if it were not for forgiveness. I know she always did the best with what she was equipped to do. That's what matters in the end. : )

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 5 years ago from Central Texas

      There are few who've had an idylic relationship with their mom or dad and when the end nears -- well, it's either the good memories or the bad ones that cling to us tightly -- we must choose. I was raised by my Granny but knew my mom always loved both me and my brothers although she was rarely present in our lives when we were children. As adults, we chose to let "bygones be bygones" and all three of us chose the good times to remember. It's proven to be the right way for us. I know you'll do all you can for your mom, while you can, and when she's gone do your best to erase the bad times from your memories (and it's damned hard to do) and just dwell on the good parts. In time, you'll be amazed how much the heart can forget and forgive. Blessings, hugs and peace to you and your mom. Best/Sis

    • craiglyn profile image
      Author

      Lynda 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you for understanding. Her days are coming to a close I fear - I recognize the signs from when I lost Craig. We have struggled, but there have been so many good times too - and that is what is important in the end.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 5 years ago from United States

      We all wish to save the best memories of our mothers and cast out those that were not so pretty. We are only human in doing this and this is what is meant to be. Thank you for sharing this wonderful heartfelt tribute.