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Just Leave It Alone

Updated on November 24, 2012
Grief
Grief | Source

Night times are the worst

That's the way it is

You can take that to the bank

That's when it really hurts

It doesn't feel right

Being alone in this room, in this bed

I got lost

But you came searching for me

You might have been sorry for what you found

Two o'clock in the morning

Still kicking 'round

My body's tired but I can't sleep

I can't just leave it alone

Because when I do

It smacks me right in the face

I can't just leave it alone

Because lonely is what I am without you

If I could find my way to you

There's so much that I would do different

Nobody's perfect

I'm not perfect

I saw you in a video tape

Shot a long time ago

Back before the slide

If only we knew then what we know

I know where you are

But I can't get to you

You're happier there than you could be with me

Still I cry out at night

I thrash around on my bed

Sometimes I just have to grab

Whatever's there and just hold on

I can't just leave it alone

Because when I do

It kicks me right in the teeth

I can't get relief from a drink

Or a touch

When it's not you

I can't just leave it alone

Because it grows inside me and

Works hard to drag me down

You'd tell me to leave it alone

But I can't help it

I need you

Right now




copyright (C) 2012 christopher w neal all rights reserved


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    • Chris Neal profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Neal 

      5 years ago from Fishers, IN

      Beth -

      I hadn't read that one for a while. That was painful for me. Thank you very much for your comment.

    • profile image

      Beth37 

      5 years ago

      Wow.. that was powerful

    • Chris Neal profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Neal 

      6 years ago from Fishers, IN

      Moms-Secret -

      Well, the poetry is definitely an outlet.

    • Moms-Secret profile image

      Lissette 

      6 years ago from Central Florida

      Normal has changed for you. It is natural that you don't feel 'normal' and everything is forced. I found myself really aggressive towards people with their meaningless wastes of precious time. I was always 'the big picture' kind of girl but grief made it worse. I decided to take up martial arts and grappling. I thought it was an outlet for aggression and frustration but it ended up giving me control and focus among other things. Maybe you need something...

    • Chris Neal profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Neal 

      6 years ago from Fishers, IN

      Moms-Secret -

      Thank you for reading and your comment. Right now everything seems forced. It's odd that the pain is the only thing that comes naturally. Thank you for your comment.

    • Chris Neal profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Neal 

      6 years ago from Fishers, IN

      Victoria Lynn -

      Thank you so much. And you're right, sometimes trying to leave it alone only makes it worse. Thank you so much.

    • Moms-Secret profile image

      Lissette 

      6 years ago from Central Florida

      I have known this...

      Time will dull it as long as you don't force anything.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 

      6 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      I love this. Sometimes we can't just leave it alone, no matter how hard we try. Deep poem. Enjoyed it very much. Loved the rhythm.

    • Chris Neal profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Neal 

      6 years ago from Fishers, IN

      genaea and BlossomSB -

      Thank you very much for you comments. It helps and it doesn't. Art can come from pain, to be sure, but sometimes talking about it doesn't ease it. Thank you both.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      6 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      We mature through our experiences and our losses, but they're things that we'd rather do without. It helps to be able to express our feelings about them and you do it so well because you do it from the depth of your heart.

    • profile image

      genaea 

      6 years ago

      Wow!!!

      I follow you because your words of the wisdom of God, speak to me. You speak as the "ultimate whisperer". I have heard it since childhood.

      The pain you seem to carry is touching, to say the least. I know that she would be with you if she could. I pray that you walk this walk without depression; for he does no weigh us down more that we can withstand. The "big picture" seems cruel, as I have found in our conversations with "them", but "we" know, that God always knows best.

      My brother, a little over a year older than I, and quite close to me; my aunt, one year younger and close to me; and my father, all within about 4 years. I can feel some of your pain; my mother even greater.

      I hope you received my messages to you. No pressure; available though :) Have a great year!!!

    • Chris Neal profile imageAUTHOR

      Chris Neal 

      6 years ago from Fishers, IN

      Icbenefield -

      Thank you very much. It's odd how sometimes the biggest hurt allows you to express yourself better. Thank you.

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      So beautiful and intense. I can feel the pain. I am sorry for the loss you are dealing with.

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