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Just an average day...! I thought so.

Updated on April 30, 2012
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Went to a bar to drink my life away

Was sitting down next to a pretty blonde

A killer look, wishing my mother in law was gone..!

She seemed to recognize this stud with a thong


"Are you the father of my kids?"

she asked sure of her... pointing out at me.

"Oh Lord have mercy," I said

"Why this is happening to me?

End of the year, broke and in need...!"



Recalling my 12 months of bachelor's partying good deeds

I could swear she was the one I met and came to me...


"Oh! Got it! You are the stripper that I met at Sam's," I said

The one that gave me the joy of my life and that stupid bonnet

"I don't think so. All I know is that you are the dad of one of my kids"

"Woman please, it's gotta be you!: blond, tall, the one that I ever dreamed of"


"Well handsome dad, don't deny your kid!" she screamed.

"Woman let's be real... You want this thing to happen again?" I said

"Forget it then. You are not in your right mind"

"Just tell me, you want to recall that night, right?"


She got furious and grabbed her bag

I wanted to know if I was the father of that child!

"Since he is mine, prove it young lady"

She was about to hit me back so hard...

"You are not man enough to admit it now!"

"If you don't prove it, we might as well say bye, Ciao!"


She took a picture out of her pink purse, inside her bag

"This is the proof, so you won't get so mad!"

"Wait a minute: A bunch of kids and a teacher?

There is my Josh, right in the middle of that picture"


"Yes Mr. Cross, You are the dad of one of my kids

I wanted to explain, but you came out with the truth"

"So sorry, that blond lap dancer was just a gift.

A pay back from my pal John Paul Ortiz."


"Well I'm Nancy, Just argued with Hubby as you see

and wanted to take some free time way," she said

"Well hopefully you won't tell this to my son Tomorrow"

"Rest assure Mr. Cross. You might be at the wrong place I think"


"What's the matter Nancy, please!" I said

Why don't come to meet a girl who is my friend," she replied.

"So? Nothing wrong with all this right?", I said

"This is a bar for ladies seeking ladies, Mr. Cross"

"Oh, no!!, and I already drank more than I thought

Courtesy of this Lady Gaga, who missed her call"


"Can We keep this as a secret too Mr, Cross?"

"Sure Nancy, had to get my wife this Winnie-the-pooh,

just hold on to those beers and say bye to that chick friend of you!"

I left all sweat up, avoiding all that crowd that held me back that night

No more drinks for free from drag queens in disguise!





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  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Ok LORD - haha - so you were the guilty father of one of her kids!

    Truly funny!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Come on, please RHW!

    She was one of my kid's Teacher and she was there on a rebound..and unfortunately I was found! Obviously, she had her dirty little secrets too!

    LORD

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Yes Lord - I got that....I suppose I meant to be funny but it doesnt always work out that way does it?

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    (THEME..FROM...MISSION IMPOSSIBLE....5 SECONDS..)

    Ha-ha-ha!

    You did good my friend!

    Just wanted people to read, what's this hub all about..you know? Self SEO...I might call that..!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Too funny - yes (groan) I did think it was clever! Sorry:) I guess I should have used a :) or maybe a couple of !! You know? Or maybe an LOL ??

    Loved it:)

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Great hub BUT these comments are killin' me! LMAO!!!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Sunshine please!

    Can you moderate Kelly? She thinks this is s thread..you know?

  • picklesandrufus profile image

    picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

    really funny and full of surprises!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Thanks Pickles! dear!

    Merry Christmas ladies!lol!

  • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

    Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

    This was a good one. I can just imagine someone in such a totally no end situation. lol

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Gypsu Rose,

    Was fun to write it too!

    The idea just came up and then we just put the prose together. Still laughing about it. Right Kelly?

    LORD

  • AEvans profile image

    Julianna 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

    Lolol! A drag queen! OMG! This is a historical read, I do have to say it's one that will be shared with delight across the Internet! :D

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    You know AEvans..you talk like it s is my own story!...keep it low please!...is just my own creativity. You might scare those three musketeers with your laughing! Shh! ((HUGS))

    LORD

  • raciniwa profile image

    raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

    uh uh...so tell me you're not the father of one of my students too...lol...Life is what you make it as the famous often used line...sigh...

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Raciniwa,

    Thinking about it...Well I've never been to the Philipinnes for sure, and that frees me of that load. Life is what we make out of? Lol! You are funny Raci..you are getting that AEvans Mood...huh? commenting with a subtle Sarcasm...!

    LORD

  • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

    Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

    Billy Jean?

  • justateacher profile image

    LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

    Wonderful poem! And awesome comments...I guess teachers need to listen as carefully as we expect our students to! Too many wrong ideas!

  • bellawritter23 profile image

    Erica Sanchez 5 years ago from California

    This was quite entertaining lord . I voted awesome :)))

    Smiles

    Bella

  • rahul0324 profile image

    Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

    LOL! This is funny... and if it is a figment of reality then I must say you my friend must have scored a really awkward situation!

    LOL

  • treevas1 profile image

    treevas1 5 years ago

    confused ????!!! Lol

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Just A teacher, Thanks for your comments. Hope things got cleared out. Teachers need to listen to their students and their parents as well!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Bellawriter23, Quite entertaining and laughable from every point of view. Thanks for reading us!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Hey Rahul,

    Seems that this story have caught some people's attention. Thanks for the support pal!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Treevas1 hi!

    You are funny as well! Confused? Nah! Just some imagination and a good laugh of our own. Thanks for the Kudos!

  • Anamika S profile image

    Anamika S 5 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    Now that was funny Lord...

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Hi Anamika, Thanks for taking your time and reading this inspiration! The words kept coming ... and we just went town! If you know what we mean.

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