LOVER MAN VS. SPIDER LADY...by b. Malin

The Web started to unfold in Mid August, on our Front Porch. At first we admired the workmanship that was slowly going on, which could only be seen after dark. During the day, it was neatly tucked away somewhere. Lover Man was very impressed, until one night when the WEB was hanging Post to Post to Post. It was like she was slowly taking over the porch. He nicknamed her "Spider Lady"...and now I will give you the rest of the story. Afterwards you can decide, who really Won...

I said to Lover Man, during one of our nightly walks. " I think she's getting out of Control with that Web, and it's kinda creepy...Granted she's caught some interesting Bugs... But we can no longer get to the Front Door without part of a Web catching our heads. You've got to do something". Ok, I'm going to be honest, I am afraid of Spiders. And Spider Lady was BIG and I personally think Controlling...But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Lover Man being the Brave Soul that he is, said, "I'll get the Broom, and gently place her down on the Rose Bush and break her Web, she'll take the hint. RIGHT, I thought to myself. However, he was sort of right...For the next night a new Smaller Web was going from the Rose Bush, to ONE post. But, come the next night, she was once again making her way back across the porch. And so once again, Lover Man got the Broom, and moved her back to the Rose Bush, before taking down the Web. "She's watching you" I said softly. "So she is, he said staring back at her...She knows who's boss". "Right, I replied, let's see what round 3 brings...

The next night there was a BIGGER WEB and this one was once again Post to Post..."Ok, Lover Man said, Spider Lady is Going to the Street". He went and got the Broom from the garage and gently took her down. They were Eye Ball to Eye Ball and she looked Angry. He gently placed her on the curb. She surveyed him for a moment before tuning her back and walking gently into the night. I shivered...Wondering if we'd seen the last of her...And it seemed to be. For a week rolled by and no more Spider Lady.

A few days later in the mail comes a Summons for "Jury Duty" addressed to Lover Man. It wasn't for the next County...Oh No, it was for "Camden", which is at least an hour away if the traffic is Light...As he flipped the envelop to shred it, on the back was a cartoon picture of a Spider and a Man caught in a Web...Lover Man and I looked at each other as we both said..."No Way".