Living Past The HURT.

Choosing to live past the
HURT
this emotion is very powerful, very strong and also
DESTRUCTIVE.
Choosing to live past the
HURT
is something that will renovate your world, your mind, and most important,
YOUR HEART
Choosing to live past the
HURT
is a monstrous step that is extremely difficult, intensified, painful, and hard to
CONTINUE
Choosing to live past the
HURT
is a battle that I have now declared WAR against, will CONTINUE and most importantly will
CONQUER

Most mother and daughter relationships can go ari throughout the course of life which is considered normal. There are moments when they won't speak to each other for days, weeks, sometimes even years. Now in my opinion when it gets into months there is a bigger problem than either one of you would like to admit. The longer the problem is left to stew it will eventually boil over.

Natalie and her daughter Melinda are as estrange as you can possibility get. We haven't spoke to each other at all for over four years. Natalie have missed four years of her grandchildren's lives. Some important years that you can never get back even if they were to mend those broken fences. Some times it is best to leave some of those fences broken. Melinda has taken so many things from Natalie that it is hard to distinguish which are more painfully.

It's the year 2005, Natalie's marriage is on the rocks her mother is dying from a form of emphysema, Jason is on his way to prison after just getting out because of his baby's mother sealing weed to her ex-husband some marijuana and he told the police.

When Melinda got the information she some how got them to believe that Natalie turned him in because they would not sell her any more crack. In February Jason gets out of jail for his drug charge that he took so they would not put the biological mother in jail because she had two children and was pregnant with Natalie's grandchild. This is also the beginning of the end of Natalie mother's disease her grand daughter was born. Natalie's life begins again; April 8, 2005 @ 12:55 a.m. 6 lb 8oz her fifth grandchild has arrived, a beautiful baby girl named Lea. Lea became Natalie's reason for existing again, a reason to live for, but only for a short while.

Three months into Lea's little life her biological mother, Rachael dropped her off and never to return. Shortly after this Jason went back to jail, and Natalie's mother was getting sicker. Six months after Lea was left with Natalie, she needed to get her shots and medical attention that she wasn't getting from Rachael and the baby supplies were getting a little expensive. Knowing that Jason cannot help her at this point, and her husband was only going to do the minimal, and her mother was sick, she had no help so she must get help from Rachael. Natalie went to the courts to obtain legal custody of Lea to be able to provide the medical attention she would need and so that when Jason came home his daughter would be here and well taken care of. _{(fade out)}

_{(fade in)} Melinda was living in Texas writing Jason in prison in North Carolina and telling Kelsey also living in Texas, Rachael living in North Carolina, all the lies. At this same time Natalie is taking care of her ailing mother, Lea, trying to help Jason as much as she could, with no income. Natalie began working with this website that paid her for stories, enough to be able to get diapers, milk, and provide extras on toys and things. Melinda however is tearing Natalie down every step of the way. She is writing Jason lies the Natalie was keeping the baby dirty, that she was using drugs and living in her husbands mother's filthy basement. Not only was she telling him this, she was telling, Kelsey and Rachael. Not only is she telling them this, she is also convincing them to take the baby away from Natalie. Telling them that Natalie was just trying to get public assistance and use his daughter then she would get custody of Lea and take Lea away from him. _{(fade out)}

(fade in) Now the entire time Melinda is dispersing this evil across the family, Natalie is pursuing her goal of getting custody so that she could get Lea caught up on her shots and medical history. Obtaining her records like birth certificate, social security card, medical insurance, things a good person would do for any baby. This entire time Natalie had no knowledge that this evil is being spread among the three most important people in Lea's life. One Sunday morning Lea and Natalie are getting ready to go to church, and overwhelming feeling of sadness came over Natalie out of nowhere. Natalie said she held my Lea very close to her and just cried, Lea looked at her smiled and said, I love you. When they got to church and during the service an usher walked up to Natalie and said, "Your daughter was outside and wants you to bring the baby outside". Natalie grabbed Lea kissed her told her that this would be the last time she would see her for a while and went outside. There stood Melinda, Kelsey and two of my other grandchildren. They told Natalie that they were going to get Jason and take Lea out to eat and buy some new clothes. Seven O'clock and Lea is not home and Melinda is not answering her phone. Lea is nowhere to be found. _{(fade out)}

First court date North Carolina is fighting Texas over jurisdiction of the case. North Carolina won, first victory. Now to get Lea back. That one was a bigger mission, while Natalie's attorney worked on getting her temporary custody until the trial, Natalie, using the internet was trying to locate Lea, Kelsey or Melinda in Texas. The internet is a powerful tool and when used properly you can find someone if you are looking for them. With the internet Natalie was able to locate the Kelsey's address. Natalie told her attorney that she had found them and he informed her that he had obtained the temporary custody order. Natalie convinced her cousin to take her to Texas and get Lea back, so Natalie's sick mother, her cousin and the temporary custody order got headed to Kelsey's house to take Lea back. Needless to say, Natalie is very happy that she is getting Lea back and had temporary custody of her until Jason can get out of jail. _{(fade out)}

_{(fade in)} Mean-while back to the evil being spawned. While Natalie and crew were on their way to retrieve Lea, again Natalie had no ideal of the trouble brewing. Melinda and Kelsey convinced Jason to leave the work release center and become a fugitive instead of doing his time getting out of prison and raising his child. When Natalie gets to Texas where Lea was, Natalie really didn't know what house it was. When Natalie and her cousin got out of the car they could hear Jason talking. It was like they were sitting at the window. Natalie began to call his name like she did when he was a child so she knew he would know it was her. When the lights went out in this apartment they knew which apartment they were in. Natalie knocked on the door, Kelsey said, "Who is it"? "Natalie". "Natalie who"? "Kelsey I am here to get Lea". Natalie said. " "Get away from my door Natalie before I call the police". Kelsey said. "I have already called them Kelsey". Natalie answered. When the police arrived Kelsey opened the door thinking that she was going to be able to keep Lea until the police told her that she was going to have to give her up because Natalie had a temporary custody order to Kelsey had nothing. At the same time, Jason turned himself in and went back to jail. This incident alone caused a gap ping hole through Kelsey's and Natalie's relationship, needless to say, Natalie hated the air that Kelsey breathed. _{(fade out)}

(fade in) Court day; Going before the arbitrator. Natalie came to court professionally dress and didn't say a word unless her attorney advised her to. Now the defense consisted of both her children, Kelsey and Rachael against Natalie. In the hearing the courts would not let Melinda and Kelsey in the room, however, they had coached Rachael pretty good. The Rachael began telling them that Natalie had no income, no where to live, that she keep the child dirty, and that she did drugs. When Jason was saying the same thing the arbitrator asked how he knew this because he is in jail. He said that his sister and future wife has told him. Ask if they had any pictures, or written affidavits other than the sister and the para mar, the answer was no. Proof of drug use, there was none. When they asked Natalie's attorney to rebut the accusations her attorney gave the arbitrator a copy of her husband's weekly pay stubs for over three months. He gave him pictures of her living quarters and pictures of the baby, and a copy of the drug test posting negative for cocaine, marijuana, and meth. When the arbitrator asked if Natalie had anything to say; She said, "I am not speaking for myself or what may be good for me. I am the voice of my grandchild. I was keeping my son's first born safe, loved and cared for until he could get out and become the father I know that he can and will be". Natalie want granted temporary custody until trial. (fade out)

Natalie still has a hard time hearing, thinking, listening, or even telling this story. She still cannot believe that flesh of her flesh, blood of her blood, would treat her in such a way. This is one of the HURTS that she choose to live past. This is one of the HURTS that she no longer will let control her and/or her emotions. She chooses to let this be in her past, to stay in the past, and no longer to guide her present nor her future. She have forgiven her child and have mended the broken and damage fences between Jason and now daughter-in-law. She don't get to see her other grandchildren, but she truely believe that one day before she closes her eyes to this life, they will meet again. I Will Live Past The HURT.