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Looking For a Place to Die

Updated on August 4, 2014
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I was young and brilliant,
but the problem was
I thought I was a woman.
My soul was stolen cause I didn't guard it
and that proved something,
but I was too hard headed
to focus on the lesson.

I was a little girl
and he knew I was too damn sweet.
He knew I was naive
and that's what attracted him to me,
the fucking creep.

I alienated everyone who loved me.
I didn't want to have friends.
I just wanted to be alone
with my demon.
I won't lie,
I am sometimes satisfied
when I feel an evil visitor
enter my body.

There are times
when he won't allow me to cry,
and those are the moments I really
feel like I need help.
But, that only happens once in a while.
I'm good in life, I just need a place to die.

This might sound strange, but something about him
allows my true talent to come out.
I try to act as God's child,
but this spirit
doesn't feel godly at all.
I feel like I'll be misunderstood again,
but I know who I am
and that is why
I am bold in my statements.
I will never fall.

I'm just looking for a place to die.
I need a place to rest when my body
is too tired to settle for a night
of tossing and turning.
That is why I hustle
and that is why I
put up with the bullshit
of this journey.

You don't have a goal?
You don't know what you want?
I'm leaving you behind,
you're no love of mine.

I'm searching for something,
and it has to be better
than the place I was born in.

I have split personalities and we need a place
where we will be accepted.
It's hard to believe
that we don't always agree.

Man, I just remember being young,
brilliant, and naive.
I was forced to do things I didn't want,
but I didn't know I had to become strong.
See, you can't send just any little girl
out to hunt,
she needs experience first.

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    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you for the great comment, I really appreciate it!

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 3 years ago from India

      Ryem, your poems are like rays of the Sun and your light is so overwhelming and powerful, though, this poem is imbued with streaks of sadness. But, then rays have to penetrate deep into everything. Voted up. Peace. :-)

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you, Skylar!!

    • SkySlave profile image

      Skyler DeCristoforo 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very raw and true. I definitely feel the emotion tucked into these words. Brilliant!

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you, Angela. : )

    • Angela Ohm profile image

      Angela Ohm 3 years ago from Beach Park, Illinois

      This is very deep and powerful ! Great writing ! Voted up.

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      You're great! Thanks so much!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Nice, cool digging this up Lisa Luv. Way to share!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Way to express yourself Ryem. Nice digging up JackieThere is no place for you to choose to die so just try to keep living. Most of us have had to learn to be strong sooner or later. That's life! Some people are affected with pain much more than others. You survived! I can tell! Stay up my sister! You are truly loved!

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you, Lisa!!

      Yes Jodah, isn't it great how music can inspire you that way? Thank you for commenting: )

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Wow Ryem, what a poem you wrote there. I see you were inspired after listening to the song in the video. I have written a couple of poems after being inspired b songs too. This is so dark and brutally honest though, very impressive. Voted up.

    • Lisa Luv profile image

      Lisa J Warner 3 years ago from Conneticut, USA

      Nicely written and a very point-full piece... KUDOS!!! GREAT JOB!!!

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 3 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you everyone for all of your nice comments!

    • Indian Chef profile image

      Indian Chef 3 years ago from New Delhi India

      Very beautifully written poem and though there was pain in it but I still liked it.

    • bizarrett81 profile image

      bizarrett81 4 years ago from Maine

      Beautifully written, indeed. I love the lines :

      "I have split personalities and we need a place

      where we will be accepted.

      It's hard to believe

      that we don't always agree."

      So powerful and full of pain, as everyone else has said. Voted up and everything but funny

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      Very well written, and indeed I too could feel the pain flowing from this one...

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 4 years ago from Minnesota

      My heart is so heavy right now. You are a very talented writer and did a great job expressing your emotions in images. Beautifully sad and heart-wrenching poem. Are you going to be alright? Email if you need an ear. I'm a good listener and a counselor.

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Ryem, very powerful work. I could feel the pain and the frustration. Well written. Voting up and sharing.

    • Ryem profile image
      Author

      Ryem 4 years ago from Maryland

      Thank you, Bill and shofarcall!

    • shofarcall profile image

      shofarcall 4 years ago

      Heartbreaking. Shows the face of the cruelty of this world. God Bless you.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Brutally realistic. I was going to hit "beautiful" but it is too stark....it is beautifully written but man oh man there is some serious pain here. :) Well done!