Looking In

I stand on one side of the glass, wondering

Looking on, as if a stranger, never belonging

My mind wonders, in and out of thoughts

Ideas, memories all just streaming through

Time meanders in my life, weaving a mixed path

 

I stand on one side of the glass, pondering

What would have if I had chosen another

What could have if I had the courage

What should have if I had the clarity

Time meanders in my life, leading me unknowingly

 

I stand on one side of the glass, reflecting

Choices, decisions, there have been many

Where would I have gone, who would I be today

There are so many if only’s, if what’s, if I had’s

Time meanders in my life, forging ahead

 

I stand on one side of the glass, frozen

Past emerges, nightmarish, real

Emotions are a whirlpool, pulling me

Down, down, down, spinning a spiral

Time meanders in my life, meaningless

 

I stand on one side of the glass, surrendering

It’s hard to withstand, easy to give in

Drowning me, overcoming me

There’s a sense of comfort, familiarity

Time meanders in my life, long forgotten

 

I stand on one side of the glass, shivering

Digging deep within, searching

A flicker of light, a bit of hope

Voices I hear, some encouragement

Time meanders in my life, quietly ticking

 

I stand on one side of the glass, rooted

Fists clenched, mind determined

Fighting, with whole soul and great might

Pulling, pulling myself out

Time meanders in my life, seconds counting

 

I stand on one side of the glass, breathless

Darkness releasing, spilling all about

Brightness abounds, warmth wrapping ‘round

Relief washes over, as darkness fades

Time meanders in my life, reminding

 

I stand on one side of the glass, rejoicing

I am alive

Beth100

August 2, 2009

copyright 2009