Lost InTime

A second chance another time around

Brought my heart to the table

No scars, simple Love-Led my steps

I walked a path

Head down, one foot in front of the other

The trail thinning, running out of try

A mountain in front of me

Nothing to hold on to

No one to lean on

My grasp is slipping, tired of being strong

Dark is dark no matter how you look at it

Finding peace in the light

I wasn’t strong enough to do it

 

Lost on a plateau

I look back on my path

I remember being husband-listening to the lies

I have to empty my mind, clean my plate

It all has to go away so I can go on without the pain

Clean my clock cause I can’t go back in time

Not here, not there, existing in a Point-

less than what is real

I walk for days and don’t go anywhere

Waking up in the morning just to sit and stare

Lost in my own mind

Oblivious to the world around me

Wind blows in the trees, rippling the pond next to me

But all I see is the darkness I am lost in

Minutes, months, seconds, years pass

But I’m not sure-how, when, where was I-

And which time passed me by

Slowly a cloud breaks

When the only thing I had was my sunglasses

I catch the glare in the corner of my eye

So bright, strange, and familiar it hurts my eyes

People there I recognize

But the light has hurt in it, memories, realities.

Better to stay here pretending the world doesn’t exist,

No pain, no crying, and I never feel a clenched fist

A little longer then

I’ll just sit

I feel bad when I smile, feel bad when I don’t

People around me

Smile at me with a tear in their eye

 

My body is moving

Tasks completed in due time, with a mind still reeling

Eighteen hour days no time to think

Got to keep moving one thought will bring me to drink

Alone on the porch with a buddy by my side

I’m sinking back in and I don’t want to die

Go North, cool air and family

Real hugs, sad smiles fueled by Love not apathy

I am a child again, lump in my throat

I feel like crying but an unfamiliar happiness accompanying

No guarding, so surviving, no more sleepless nights behind the steering wheel

Remembering who I am

Contagious personality and hugs all around

Still climbing this mountain

But now with a rope and solid ground