Lost One
Thanks for the song C.C.
Some Lyrics
God knows that I would follow you if that is what you wanted
Take me into all your darkest shadows and you'll see that
I'm even stronger than you could know
God know that I am standing here and you could disappear
Slipping right over the edge of the future
4/29/13
Lost one, I do not see the worthless creature that you have proclaimed yourself to be. I do not see death within you. I can only stare into you for a short time, lest I lose myself but when I do thoughts of having breath waisted on your existence do not flood my mind. I see a lost man. A mind consumed and disoriented by the time spent in the dark. I see a heart blackened by pain and betrayal. I see a great man who is lost in the endless forest of his own past and believes that there is no power left within him. I see someone trapped in a labyrinth. I breath you in and smell the poison coursing thru your veins among the scent of honorable values and beliefs. The venom fuels your desire to take revenge for a wrong that your festering poison has amplified. You have been wronged. You gave all of yourself and were betrayed. You are not wrong to feel the way that you do but your darkness has possessed you. It makes you thirst for blood. It pulls at you, forcing you into an action much like the forced movements of a puppet on a string. Should you succeed in your quest, you will achieve destruction of those who wronged you, of yourself, and of some who are innocent. So much of yourself is locked away from you. You have been stuck in a glass case within yourself, locked and desperate to be released, for years. You are able to be seen but not heard. You are able to know your own potential but are not able to unlock it. You are tormented, alone, and without peace. You are an overused giver who has had a wall built around him. Still, you are a man of honor. Your center, tho wrapped tightly in darkness, is still in tact. You deserve a light story, however short or long it may be.
It is your center that calls to me. The gleam of a small gem pulls me in. That unbreakable spirit that can be locked away and covered in darkness but can never be destroyed is what I can see when others can't. I do not fear the darkness. I lay down my sword and walk, willingly into your darkness to offer you a connection, a companion, and an embrace. I take the risk to bring you a moment of peace. I move forward towards you knowing the potential for a steep price to be paid by me for doing this but I am called to you. I am not afraid. I will be your constant. Tho darkness and pain may surround you, your center is careful with me. It protects and embraces me. As long as I remain close to you, those dark creatures who threaten me for being by your side can only bare their teeth from a distance. In your embrace, they can not harm me. They fear me. They fear my influence. They fear the potential that they could lose their hold over you. They fear your desire for freedom. They fear the demise of their own existence. They inspire you to push away those that would stand by you. They ask you to doubt those who would believe in you.
In my embrace, time stops for you. You can take refuge from the daily battles waged against you. Those voices that torment your mind are dulled. The area that is locked away from you lets itself be known to me. I feel it stirring and slowly building its own desire for freedom. I am strong enough to sit with you, among your dark shadows and connect with you. I am true enough to accept you as you are and offer my embraces with out expectation or judgement. It is not my plan to change you. I am real enough to walk your path with you knowing that one day your journey will bring you to a fork in the road in which our directions will part. My spirit is fully realized within me. I can go into your depths without the fear of losing myself to your darkness. You can take my hand without worrying about taking me down with your ship. I have been delivered to you to bring you peace. That, in turn, brings me happiness.
Lost one, I am not the cure to your curse. I am not the key that you are in search of. I am merely a small light in the darkness. I am the beam that illuminates thru the storm that attempts to keep you from crashing. I am the cave that offers you shelter from the elements for as long as you need. I am the fire that warms you and allows you to rest and recoup. I do what I am called to do without expectation from you. I have no hidden agenda. I am unconditional. For the time that we are given, my gifts are yours. You bring me peace, joy, and comfort by supplying what I need. The need to be seen and accepted as I am. By showing me your world and by hiding and protecting me within your embrace my needs are met.
All we are really ever given is the moment before us.
A question was asked... Why am I willing to sit in the dark? I was made to survive and embrace the dark. It is easy to bask in the sun and shine in the light but my light was made in the dark. It is a part of me. It is where I was recreated and my source of peace. I am comfortable there and I do not lose myself to it. Besides what good is a light in the midst of the sun. What purpose would light serve there? It would have more meaning and more of an impact surrounded by dark. I am not the type to believe that the light within me will ever surpass that of the sun nor would I waste my entire life chasing that foolish goal.