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Love Hurts: Discussing Controversial and Unrealistic Love In This Modern Day Era

Updated on December 30, 2016
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What's Your Definition of...

LOVE? What does love mean to you? Yes, we love our families and our friends. That type of love is restricted and uncomplicated. However, there is the other type of complicated love. The kind of love that is unrestricted, or I should say; it should be unopposed, in my opinion. How about the kind of love we feel for another person one on one? Whether it be a man and a woman in love, or same sex, or different races, even long distance love; how do you feel about those types of love?

Obviously, a man and woman relationship is the one that is well perceived in the world as normal, and I know there are a lot of people who think this is the only type of conventional love. The only type that is acceptable. However, how is this determined if say, a man falls for another man, or a black man falls in love with a white woman, or what seems to be happening now with all the booming social sites like Facebook and Skype is different cultures are meeting and falling in love online?


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Oh, How Times Have Changed...

This seems to be a topic of conversation now in this online world we live in. The normal way of living our lives has gotten a bit more complicated in this high-tech society. Before we had the Internet, we lived as people that really stayed in our own little boxes, didn’t we? Go to school or work, make friends there, maybe find love there, and if not there, go out to a social function, or a club, and meet someone you may be compatible with, get married and have a family, and do normal things such as this. If you happened to be in a gay relationship, it wasn’t broadcast as much, if you were dating out of your race, people of your community were the ones that had to deal with it, and long distance relationships consisted of if your spouse worked out of town most of the year, and that was the extent of it.


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With the Internet came options and opinions on everything. We became involved in everyone’s life. Well, at least our friends on Facebook, right? We know when Sally is lonely, we know when Mike fell in love with Mike, and we have reached overseas to acquaint ourselves with different cultures, and it seems the pleasure in that, the pure curiosity in getting to know someone from an unlike culture, has fascinated a lot to fall in love that way. I, myself, am guilty of the latter. I have fallen for a man of a different culture through our online connection. However, trust me when I tell you, it can be the most loving relationship you ever have, then turn into something very different.

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It's Complicated

There are a lot of issues in relationships of this era. Not that gay relationships or different race relationships have ever been easy to have in an opinionated world, but you no longer deal with just the naysayers of your community you live in now. You deal with all the opinions of the busy bodies that feel they have the right to express their opinions on everything you post online. And I mean, freedom of speech does exist, but if you are not bragging about your love life and you simply just felt like posting a loving photo for friends to see online, it shouldn’t render conversation anymore, except to say; nice photo friend.

I have found, at times, that I get so frustrated with being on social media because of these types of extreme antagonists, that I often contemplate if I would just rather shut my whole social world down. And believe me, I’m not the type to put my private business out there. The most I post is I’m sick today, or I may say I’m having a bad day without going into detail about that. Yeah, I do try to save my internal stuff for my poetry, and my poetry friends, who I know, will just get it. We are a special breed after all. :) Even so, It is always amazing to me that even the lack of information, still can bring up controversial opinions.

So, maybe my initial question at the start of this conversation should have been asked in a different way. I should have probably asked it in this way; how do you feel about love in these days of no privacy? Because in spite of when we attempt to stay personal, it doesn’t always work. You don’t even have to be on social media. You could have a personal conversation with a friend at work about your love life and next thing you know; you are the topic of discussion on the social sites. We’ve become our own type of celebrity haven’t we?

A Final Explanation

I started off just wanting to write a simple poem and prose, touching on that common topic for us poetry writers; LOVE. However, I always like to write a little to explain my train of thought, so people who read my poetry can maybe get a better understanding of my way of thinking. When I start to do this, I like to read my poem again to myself, so I have just the right words to explain. What I realized as I read my poem back, was that, as I meant it to be a part of my personal love situation, it actually could be a situation for all different types of lovers. It could, in fact, resonate with how same-sex couples may feel, or couples of unlike race and culture, and also, like my own story of love, a love that can simply not be for reasons beyond a solution. With that said, I hope you enjoy my poem, and I hope you agree with my purpose. God Speed.

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Do you think I write about love too much?

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If you answered yes to the above question, then what different type of poetry would you like to hear from me?

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Killing Love

I feel like I miss

you today. As the

clouds roll over

the sky outside

turning it to be gray.


My heart is compelled

to feel the same way;

gray as gray, and dark

as the day.


Although, I know we

had to separate, pull

apart our chests. It

was for the best.


The immense love

in my heart some

days could not compete

with the killing pain

of being without you

week after week...


too many things not

to go our way, guiding

us now to live these

days in our own space.


I can only imagine now

how your days are going,

and sometimes my longing

for you smothers my ability

to move forward.


Even so, I know our love wasn’t

meant to be, at least in these

days of uncertainty.


It arrayed too many sins,

too many unconventional

dreams. We weaved them

until it became painfully

painful to see.


Our love was magic with

an air of brilliance, but it

made no sense in our

current residence.


Maybe one day the

universe will bend, and

make a perfect plan for

us to begin again.

© 2016 Missy Smith

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 16 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Honestly, I don't know if I can give a definition of love...it is that complicated....and yet I try to live a life of love. I think it's an overused word, and at times a bastardized word....it's a word that can be used for selfish purposes.....but when it is pure, it is the most beautiful thing in the world. I guess a definition isn't important but a life living it is. :) No, you don't write about love too much. :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      I agree with everything you said, billybuc. It is complicated, and also an overused word. It shouldn't be used so much as felt. That feeling you get when it is pure is exhilarating and scary, but that's oddly the way you know it is pure I think. No, not perfect, which is strange, because you would think, a feeling of pure love would be perfect. However, it's more like a roller-coaster ride you never want to get off. lol... Something tells me you and your wife knows this feeling well. :) Thanks for reading this hub and poem!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 16 months ago from london

      Nice discussion in your prose and beautiful poetry, as always. I like Bill's approach. Rumi says - my interpretation - that Love is everything! It is what you feel for the trees, the dog or cat, your children, parents or lover, what we look for in drugs and merriment and fast cars ...

      That longing is always in movement, driving us constantly to its original Source, where all blend in music and become Silent. No questions then, but all, as of this moment, is taking us to that blessed place of no speech; no words ...

    • ladyguitarpicker profile image

      stella vadakin 16 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

      Write about love all you want. It is a great emotion and can be perfect if you find the right person. It is so different today, love is hard to find and stay in a relationship. Nice article and poem. stellla

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      It's funny you mention that place of no speech or words, Manatita. I've been thinking of that place often lately. Actually, I've been thinking of just that, not speaking with words there. It moves me to think about spirit and how magical that will feel.

      Thanks for all the kind words! :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      Thank you, Stella. Yes, it is harder to find the real thing these days. I'm glad you liked this. :)

    • word55 profile image

      Word 16 months ago from Chicago

      Love is all that you allow God to give you. He has created you, He said love Him with all your might (of mind heart and soul), He gives you time, opportunity, protection (from wrong happening to you), He gives you countless blessings, He gives you a chance to right what was wrong in your life, thus far. You raise many issues of the emotion. Without the full involvement of God, love can be topsy-turvy in anyone's life. That is too risky. The poem was very touching. The song/video was very warm and lovely. Great work. Be blessed

    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 16 months ago

      My Guru says that Love is not an emotion, it's your very existence. We are made up of a substance called love.

      Love is complex yet love is something we all crave and need. I loved the poem. Sometimes it's just not meant to be!

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      And this was a very touching comment, word55. Yes, I believe without God, we are not even open to love in any sense of the word. God is Love after all. I mean he truly embodies the meaning. So, yes, if you don't know what love is, seek him. So true! Thank You!

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      I think your Guru is right. Like word55 states, it is what you allow God to give you. If God exists in your life, then you are Love. That's how I see it anyhow. :) Thanks swalia.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 16 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Missy, I am late reading one of your hubs and for that I apologise. You won't believe my excuse but here goes. I was hired to write a collection of original "poetry, paragraphs of prose etc" with love and inspiration as the theme for a guy and his family who are having a huge get together on Valentine's Day. He wants everyone to have something to read out.

      Here are a couple of things I wrote: "I Love You" is easy to say, but unless it is followed by actions expressing that love, it is only words like "I am hungry" or "I like football."

      Whoever said "If you love someone set them free...." Obviously never heard the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

      With long distance Internet based love these may not be relevant and that is fast becoming the most popular way of getting to know people. Your poem is great and I actually feel the emotions expressed in your words.

      We can never learn all there is to know about love and there are many different types, but I can tell you I have experienced quite a few of these. If we all try to love our neighbor and our fellow human beings everything will fall into place and the world will be much better for it. It doesn't matter what race, colour, sex, religion etc. Everyone craves love in some form. The words of a song just came into my head "What the world needs now, is love sweet love. Love's the only thing, that there's just too little of..".

    • word55 profile image

      Word 16 months ago from Chicago

      Hey John, yes, Missy pores it out. I love that of her. She is so precious... The lyrics that you mentioned are from a Burt Bacharach composed song and recorded by Dionne Warwick. I tell you, once people apply love as it should be then we'll better understand it and live in a much better world of feeling for each other. Way to go Missy, John, billybuc, manitita, swalia and ladyguitarpicker, thus far!

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      Hey Jodah, let me try this again. I was well into a paragraph response back when somehow my computer flipped out on me and deleted it. I've been having issues with this and need to check my settings.

      I wanted to say congratulations on your new assignment. I love you and everything you write, and I know they will too. You have such an unselfish persona that emanates through your words. It's beautiful, and they will love every word you put down. Probably even cry, because it's so special.

      Thank you for the wonderful comment on my, yet another, poem of love. lol...And please, don't worry about getting here late. I certainly understand life gets busy. I, myself, worry how others are going to feel if I don't see their poems and articles right away, but I hope they understand. I'm one that does understand. promise!

      Blessings to you always my friend, and happy writing!! :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      I think it is a great discussion piece, wouldn't you agree, Word55? I think it's good for everyone to be open about this subject. Like you said, better understanding of how love should be applied would make a better world for all. God Bless! :)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 16 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Right on, Al. Yep, that's the one .. Bacharach and Warwick.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 16 months ago from Shelton

      This would make for a great discussion piece.. love is the new four letter word gets tossed around like an Italian salad.. But hey that's just me... Enjoyed the poem too Missy.. was going to say Love the poem..:( AARRGGHH good hub

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      Well, I'm not sure by this comment if you really liked it or loathed it, Frank. Lol....The word "enjoyed" then later followed by the pirate phrase of dislike "AARRGGHH" have me confused. You were one of the people who voted yes that I write too many love poems, right?

      It doesn't matter to me if you are in favor or not in favor of it. You can always not like the subject of something and still feel it was well written. I think that is what you are saying here. :)

      However, I will take heed to the fact that I talk too much love. Although, does love talk include seduction in your opinion? I just wrote one that will come across as seducing, and I'm still contemplating if I should post that subject here, or if most will read it and faint. lol...

      If anyone reads this comment and would like to put in their opinion, all opinions are welcome. Who thinks a poem of seducing and sexual topic would not be welcome here?

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 16 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Missy, it could work but hub pages are fairy prudish so there is only so far you can go. It's a bit of a balancing act as how sexual the content can be. Another person I follow writes erotic novels and occasionally puts makes a hub out of a chapter of one of her novels. It usually stays published for a couple of days before HubPages takes it down. Try it with one hub and see how it goes. I'd read it :)

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      Yeah, I had that feeling they would ban it. But, I like to explore my sexual side sometimes and poetry is a great way to do that too. lol... I may give it a try John. It is kind of detailed though. However, not in the sense of spelling it out in a literal sense; at least, I don't feel like it is. I mean you will know what I'm talking about, but not in a big blunt way. Let me think about it and I may just give it a go. lol...;)

    • profile image

      Surabhi Kaura 16 months ago

      I just love this, Missy. I just love this! Your lofty words just touch my Heart, and the video is flamboyant as well. Excellent! But remember, there is always a sunrise after a dark night. Love you!

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      That is such a wonderful way to see things Surabhi. Thank You, and thank you for the encouraging compliment! Stay Blessed and Beautiful!!

      You are like a beautiful, sweet bluebird that blends with the heavens and sings us a lovely song of inspiration! Uh oh... I think you and Manatita are rubbing off on me. I feel the spirit guiding my words. lol.....;) I Like it!! :)

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 16 months ago from Bangalore

      Missy,

      Optimism can some time be difficult in this intellectual world. We need to go back to the days of innocence when our feeling mattered than any practical preachings.

      Intellectuals tear things apart to make it understandable in the technical sense, without an iota of feelings. It is because of which technological advancement have happened, but on the other side with advancement people have become ruthless in their analysis irrespective of mind or matter (are extremely cynical many a times).

      So, when it comes to love, it is impossible to define / dissect it. No easy answers,

      Like Lord krishna said, all paths leads to me, so any path that leads to spiritual well being is a welcome.

      Pls read my poems for some answers.

      'untie the heart'

      'solitude'

      'Friend-who-left'

      - Hari

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      I agree, Hari. We need more innocence in the world where peoples feelings counted on only one level, and it didn't matter about all the other stuff like; How much money someone makes, or what kind of house they live in. That's not love. We need to bring back purity of that word somehow, but I fear this world has gone beyond what we could do to turn it around. However, in saying that, the ones that still have this trait, should at no time give up on trying. Never settle for less than love of the utmost respected and genuine kind. The sad thing is, it's leaving some of us true spirited souls alone in life. Alternatively, we happen to find it in other lands now like I described in my hub, but unfortunately, it can never be consummated properly in the true sense of love. You mentioned the word optimism, and I think that's what we got to hold on to. Be examples to others that it is possible to live uncomplicated still with simple values. Simplicity makes loving another easy. It makes it clear.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 16 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      Beautifully done and well said. I like the added touch with the picture of the bleeding hearts. That was my mother's favorite flower.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 16 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      A most lovely and romantic poetry.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      Bleeding hearts are beautiful! That picture just seemed to fit in there. :) Thank you, aviannovice.

    • Missy Smith profile image
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      Missy Smith 16 months ago from Florida

      I appreciate that, Gypsy! :)

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