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Loving the UnLoveable

Updated on August 19, 2020
lifelovemystery profile image

Entrepreneur, writer, mom, and experienced digital marketing professional.

Sometimes You Need to Love Someone From a Distance

When you and your spouse aren’t getting along. When your teen rebels. When your parents use tough love and must enforce the rules. When your friend makes bad choices, and all you can do is bite your tongue. Sometimes you need a little time, a little space, a little prayer, and a deep breath. It is alright to love someone at arm’s length for a time.

I love this scripture reference as a reminder that we are not to be afraid of the unknown.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Time and Space

Source

Distance Can Be Beneficial to Everyone

Sometimes you need distance with people. Just remember God is close. He sees your struggle. He understands the defiant. He will uphold you during this time and he will give you the strength to endure.

Responding to Anger

How do you respond to someone that just wants to argue?

See results

God Understands

Source

Patience is Required When You Can't Escape

I took care of my Dad for the last 18 months of his life. He will always be the most incredible, insightful, kind and genuine man I have ever known.

My Dad had Alzheimer's.

The disease roped off the most brilliant part of his mind and left him with memories of war and fear. Those memories created anxiety within him that took endless conversations each day and assurances that everything and everyone was safe.

He woke up every day with the sight, scent, and memories of his time in Korea. I won't write his description of the place, but he did have a soft spot for the people. My Dad's memories of the people he met was their absolute poverty. He would cry and feel extreme sadness that the Koreans he met during his deployment had nothing.

Responding to Repetitive Stories

My Dad's stories were told verbatim multiple times throughout the day. There were never new details or surprises, but each time I responded as if I didn't know the story.

The patience it takes to endure the repetition cannot be measure. As a caregiver, you cannot escape the stories.

Endurance, perseverance, love, and genuine kindness is the only way to survive 18 months with an Alzheimer's patient. I found following a daily routine was the easiest way to stay sane from 6 AM to 10 PM. Any change to his routine whether it was a trip to a doctor, dentist, or breakfast at his favorite mountain restaurant could flip a switch that took him to the dark side of the disease.

My Dad passed away in June 2020 and it took a year to unwind from the routine I had developed with him. The patience that I learned during that experience is now being used with another family member that appears to have the onset of Dementia.

Caregivers can't escape any more than the Patient can walk away from the disease. It is a time that only one of you will survive, and the other will leave to be with Jesus.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2012 Michelle Orelup

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    • profile image

      Melodie 

      6 years ago

      All of my school aged koddis are involved with some kind of extra-curricular activy. My 16 year old son is on the drumline at his high school, my pre-teen daughter is on the volleyball and softball teams and my 8 year old son is half way to his black belt in Taekwondo.My little guy who stays home with me and does flash cards during the day has extra-curricular activites of napping and cuddling with Mommy and Daddy! =)

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      7 years ago from North Texas

      Giving time a chance is always a good thing. Also, trying to see the other person's point of view doesn't hurt either, but from my observation most people close their minds the second they hear something that doesn't go with what they have decided to believe. It never occurs to them that they might be the one who is wrong.

      A desire to fit in with certain people is what often drives people to do what they do. Very few people have the ability to be truly open minded. That is, to consider other possibilities besides the ones they have chosen to accept.

      Considering and learning about something doesn't have to include acceptance or incorporation of that concept or belief into one's own life. Understanding it can however, give a new perspective and the ability to understand where another person is coming from. Understanding can bring peace where otherwise their would be war. It may not, but the possibility is there at least.

    • lifelovemystery profile imageAUTHOR

      Michelle Orelup 

      7 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Thanks CrsSp! Sometimes distance is a gift that can actually draw us closer.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 

      7 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Sometimes you need distance with people....so, very true. Good thoughts, good read!

      Thanks.

    • lifelovemystery profile imageAUTHOR

      Michelle Orelup 

      7 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      I think that walking away is a sign of strength and character. Thanks for commenting.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      Voted this up, useful, awesome, and shared on FB. Great Bible quote. It truly can be hard to deal with such emotions. Think about it, so much can go wrong. I always walk away with my kids and wife. I'm very patient and understanding. Great words of advice:)

    • lifelovemystery profile imageAUTHOR

      Michelle Orelup 

      9 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Love and prayer are the biggest tools in my toolbox. Thanks anglnwu!

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 

      9 years ago

      Love transcends distance, even if we choose to put it there for whatever reason. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    • lifelovemystery profile imageAUTHOR

      Michelle Orelup 

      9 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Thanks KoffeeKlatch Gals!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      9 years ago from Sunny Florida

      How true - sometimes that little bit of space can work wonders. Even when you are alone you are not.

    • profile image

      coffeesnob 

      9 years ago

      I can relate, God is good in all things. the most imprtant thing is to love - even if it is at a distance..

      CS

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