Loving the UnLoveable
Sometimes You Need to Love Someone From a Distance
When you and your spouse aren’t getting along. When your teen rebels. When your parents use tough love and must enforce the rules. When your friend makes bad choices, and all you can do is bite your tongue. Sometimes you need a little time, a little space, a little prayer, and a deep breath. It is alright to love someone at arm’s length for a time.
I love this scripture reference as a reminder that we are not to be afraid of the unknown.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Time and Space
Distance Can Be Beneficial to Everyone
Sometimes you need distance with people. Just remember God is close. He sees your struggle. He understands the defiant. He will uphold you during this time and he will give you the strength to endure.
Responding to Anger
How do you respond to someone that just wants to argue?
Patience is Required When You Can't Escape
I took care of my Dad for the last 18 months of his life. He will always be the most incredible, insightful, kind and genuine man I have ever known.
My Dad had Alzheimer's.
The disease roped off the most brilliant part of his mind and left him with memories of war and fear. Those memories created anxiety within him that took endless conversations each day and assurances that everything and everyone was safe.
He woke up every day with the sight, scent, and memories of his time in Korea. I won't write his description of the place, but he did have a soft spot for the people. My Dad's memories of the people he met was their absolute poverty. He would cry and feel extreme sadness that the Koreans he met during his deployment had nothing.
Responding to Repetitive Stories
My Dad's stories were told verbatim multiple times throughout the day. There were never new details or surprises, but each time I responded as if I didn't know the story.
The patience it takes to endure the repetition cannot be measure. As a caregiver, you cannot escape the stories.
Endurance, perseverance, love, and genuine kindness is the only way to survive 18 months with an Alzheimer's patient. I found following a daily routine was the easiest way to stay sane from 6 AM to 10 PM. Any change to his routine whether it was a trip to a doctor, dentist, or breakfast at his favorite mountain restaurant could flip a switch that took him to the dark side of the disease.
My Dad passed away in June 2020 and it took a year to unwind from the routine I had developed with him. The patience that I learned during that experience is now being used with another family member that appears to have the onset of Dementia.
Caregivers can't escape any more than the Patient can walk away from the disease. It is a time that only one of you will survive, and the other will leave to be with Jesus.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2012 Michelle Orelup