ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Cultural Training: More Best of Southern Epithets!

Updated on October 18, 2011
donotfear profile image

Annette Sharp holds a BAAS in Behavioral Science from Texas A&M. She is a counselor and motivator with an empathetic heart.

Great to be back home....!
Great to be back home....!

More of the best Southern Cultural Epithets!

I couldn't resist the urge to add more to The Best of Southern Epithets!

So here it is honey-child! Enjoy the ride!

Read on why don't cha?

You know you're REALLY from the South when:

You can eat fried okra,

or fried okr-ee.

The tomatoes aren’t rotten,

they’re rotten-ed!

If you’ve already eaten you’ve done ate..

If you haven’t eaten:”You eat yet?”

The word yesterday is now yester-dee.

And today is tudday.

The tire’s flat: air that sucker up!

Looking at new fishing caps you notice

This one’s purdy, these one’s aint.

Don't fall now, punkin'.
Don't fall now, punkin'.

 

You’ve been working in the garden all day….

You’re all tuckered out. What really riles you up is

your back’s stove up from it!

 

How many times did your Mama say,

“You’re gonna fall down & bust your head wide open!”

 You get really angry and throw a

Conniption hissy fit and yell, “Dad-gummit!”

 

Everybody’s talking about your cousin and her boyfriend:

They say she’s been shackin’ up,

but later find out they’re paper married!

 

You wonder who’s the stranger fishing in your pond.

You yell, “What in tarnation you doin’ at my pond?!”

Got'nee more chicken jokes?
Got'nee more chicken jokes?

You’re watching your child at a softball game and notice

the little Jones boy can’t throw the ball very well. You say:

“He can’t throw as far as a hen can spit, can he?”

You’ve been tossing and turning all night and can’t sleep.

You get up for a glass of buttermilk and your husband appears in the kitchen.

“You asleep yet?” he asks.

You snap,”Does a chicken have lips!?”

This is probabbly what Roy D Mercer looks like.
This is probabbly what Roy D Mercer looks like.

You’ve got a stomach virus and feel the vomit coming up.

You run for the toilet screaming,

”Get outta the way,

I’m gonna puke my gutts up!”

You had diarrhea last night, too, and tell your husband,

“Felt like hot lava shootin’ out all night long…”

You’re sick with a severe cough and your friend asks how

You’re feeling. You reply,

“Thought I’d coughed up a lung last night!”

Time for a vacation so you’ve got to arrange for

The neighbor to feed the critters while you’re gone.

 

A bird’s circling a dead carcass in your pasture.

You’re not sure it’s a buzzard, but you reckon so…..

  Then you see the varmint, way over yonder

    Grab the shotgun and tell your wife, “I’ll be home directly.”

 

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ADDITOIN TO : THE BEST OF SOUTHERN EPITHETS

  I welcome any comment yall want to make.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      yep 3 years ago

      As I was reading some of these, I found myself wondering what parts of them were southern. I guess as a born and bred southerner, I don't even realize that not everybody says this kind of stuff! I mean, doesn't every mom say you'll bust your head wide open? That's not just a southern thing, is it?

      P.S. In my area of the south, I've hardly ever heard the word "eaten." It's always "et," as in, "There's no more tater salad. It's all been et up."

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 7 years ago from The Boondocks

      tom hellert: Ha! I like doughnutfear....got a nice ring to it. Thanks.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 7 years ago from home

      You want something funny I just noticed your namw was DONOT FEAR- I saw your name originally as DOUGHNUTFEAR-

      LOLOLOLOL

      I feel so silly I just noticed this and nearly Peed my pants - I have bad eyesight but boy this was at least humorous....

      TH

    • healthgoji profile image

      healthgoji 7 years ago

      I love it -how about "He's lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut!" "Or out-ta my way you moran thar's a sale at Walmart!"

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 7 years ago from The Boondocks

      I forgot about those, Mike! I used em all the time...good laugh.

    • Mike the salesman profile image

      Mike the salesman 7 years ago from birmingham alabama/sherwood oregon

      In Alabama, we tump stuff over, run slap outta stuff.. before we buy a car we make sure the Tars are good, and there are no cracks in the winders.. and yall is one person! The correct pluralization of the word is all y'all.. very fun to read Thanks !

    • profile image

      SleeperNo1 7 years ago

      How about these?

      Do you have a fishing license. Yes. Let me see "them."

      Does a metal dog fart sparks?

      She's so ugly, she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

      Cajun: We're passing a good time. (We are having a good time.)

      We're fixin' to go to Walmart

      They're louder than two skeletons screwin' on a tin roof.

    • profile image

      Robert Ballard 7 years ago

      Great! Like Mountain Dew,it'll tickle your inards.

      Robert Elias Ballard

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

      Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 7 years ago from The Boondocks

      Thanks Tom and Mighty Mom!

      I don't know ANyBODY who uses 'damn yankee' anymore, thank goodness. I believe that generation is dying out. None the less, a hub on New York epithets would be cool.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Very colorful, I must say. Makes me want to do one about New York speak. Bottom line: I can appreciate these sayings even though I was definitely, definitely not raised in the South! Ok, go ahead and call me a damned yankee:-). MM

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

      Many grins...thanks! :)

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 7 years ago from The Boondocks

      Great midwest epithet! Thanks for the input.

    • Ralph Deeds profile image

      Ralph Deeds 7 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      Here're a couple from western Nebraska--"The snow's ass deep on a nine foot Indian." and "I'm so tired my ass is draggin' my tracks out."