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MY JOURNEY THROUGH INSANITY - THE EARLY YEARS continues
Lynn about nine years old
MY JOURNEY THROUGH INSANITY – THE EARLY YEARS – continues
It was bitterly cold and darker than any night Lynn had ever seen. She wanted to be home in her warm bed. Her Mom said they couldn’t run the car heater because somebody might notice them parked around the corner from the house. This was like a secret mission, they were staking out the house of the whore.
Mom said she was a big girl now and she may as well learn. She needed to be quiet, wait and help watch so they could catch the dirty bastard in the act. Lynn wasn’t sure what a bastard was but she had seen an act before – a juggling act. This guy on tv had all these balls going every which away and he kept adding more and more until it looked like one big circle going round and around in his hands. She liked that act and tried it with some apples but dropped them and ruined them so bad Mom had to spank her hard for wasting precious food. She didn’t know her Father could juggle but she didn’t see him much so maybe he could do lots of stuff.
Lynn tried to drag her Mom’s attention away from the house but the woman’s eyes were fixed in hatred, a look the little girl had come to know was nothing to get in front of. They had left her worthless sister at the apartment but Lynn couldn’t stay with her cause Ann was always sneaking off every chance she got. Even though it was the middle of the night, you never could tell what Ann would do. She made it halfway into town one night when they’d lived in a trailer. Course her Mom and her had to chase her down and she got one terrible spanking all over her face and back. Lynn saw part of from behind the bedroom door but she stopped watching when hands went around her sister’s neck cause it always made her feel real creepy when they were around hers.
It sure was taking a long time for her Father to come out of that house and she hoped he’d be ok in there and wondered why he’d go in there in the first place if there was a horrible woman inside. Only the porch light was on and the shades were all pulled. Lynn hoped this woman would come out with him. She’d never seen a painted slut before and imagined she might look like the clowns she had seen a parade. If she did, maybe that meant clowns were bad too. It was all getting mixed up in her brain and making her more tired.
Then, her Dad’s car pulled up in front of the house and he and a lady got out and headed up the front steps. Her Mom grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the couple who had paused in front of the door. All of a sudden everyone was yelling and pushing and she nearly fell down. She had to go to the bathroom b-a-d! She told her Mom that before they’d left the apartment but her nonsense was going to make them miss the whole thing so she could just hold it. Then quick as a blink Mom was pulling her back toward the car, the engine fired to life and off they went with the tires making an awful screeching sound. She was crossing her legs with all of her might and praying to the God she learned about from her Mom and then in Sunday school. “Please Dear Sir, don’t let me wet my pants cause you know how hard Mom has to work and all she needs is more trouble from me. I’ll be real good and …”
A small warm trickle began. Now she’d done it, just like her Dad, she was always doing something to upset her Mother and she was so stupid she forget to even see what the painted slut looked like.