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MY PRISON CELL (Where Have I Been)

Updated on February 28, 2015

This poem was written for me by my beautiful Mother, Virginia, on February 21, 1995.  It has never been seen by anyone but me.  Since I've been writing about my Mom lately, I am compelled to share this short piece.

I was going through a rough time trying to end a bad relationship.  She was there for me and extremely concerned.  She felt my pain as most mothers do.  I've made some bad decisions in my life and no doubt caused additional pain as well.  No matter what, she loved me unconditionally . . .

My Mom's original title of this poem was "Where Have I Been."  A similar title has already been used here on HubPages and therefore, I've renamed the piece "My Prison Cell."  The poem remains in tact as written by her so long ago.

My Prison Cell

Oh my God, what have I done

   What has my life become

   A haven for the sick of mind

   The low, the hateful, the unkind.

Trying to make them better

   Has crushed my very soul

   To depths I can no longer find

   Because I've lost control.

Please help me from this lowly place

   Where I have fallen deep

   Engaged in fear of those

   Who only make me weep.

The brutal eyes of hatred

   The hold they had on me

   Were so intensely frightening

   I looked, but did not see.

They turned me from my loved ones

   And my friends who really cared

   And made me leave them all behind

   Because I was so scared.

But now my life has turned around

   My mind is seeing clear

   The painful burden that crippled me

   Is not any longer near.

And now I am with spirits high

   I've left my prison cell

   The best is yet to come, you see

   For I have just left hell.

                                               vls 2/21/95

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    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 6 years ago

      Heartfelt poem by a mom who was seeing a daughter emerge from a sad place. How she loves you to have taken the time to write such a sweet poem about you. Thank you for sharing.

      Sunnie

    • youmeget profile image

      youmeget 6 years ago

      What a poem....

      Oh my God what have I done

      Trying to make them better

      Please help me from this lowly place

      The brutal eyes of hatred

      They turned me from my loved ones

      But now my life has turned around

      And I am with spirits high

      How do you see this arrangement? Beautiful work even these lines make meaning if read separately from the original poem.

      Very good hub.

      youmeget.

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 6 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      You are very fortunate to have had a mother that put this much thought into your emotional state.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Good Morning Sunnie D,

      Thanks for being the first to stop by. I appreciate your comments, always.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Dear youmeget,

      It is very nice to meet you. I agree that many of the lines read separately still give a strong voice. Thank you for your wonderful comments and the fan mail as well.

      Sharyn

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      mslizzee,

      I was extremely fortunate and continue to remain very grateful. Thanks for stopping by.

      Sharyn

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Really great poem Sharyn:).

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hey RH, Where have you been? Missed you! Thanks for stopping by!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I was on Spring Break with my kids - took them to see my uncle in Mountain Home - NO Internet service there:(. I have missed hub world so much! All you smart writers:)! Great to be home!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      You are a true asset RH - glad you are back!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Aw thanks Sharyn! I have REALLY missed hub world - my fingers were itching to get back to my wireless router;). Thanks so much formwelcoming me!

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      Kathy 6 years ago from California

      Sharyn- this poem is amazing, I see where you get your insight and writing ability. Much like my Mother - your Mother could not bear to see you hurt and was elated to see you break free. She would be very proud of you and this poem right now!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Thank you for the wonderful compliments CK. I do take after my Mom in a lot of ways :) Have a good night!

    • katiem2 profile image

      katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

      Oh how perfectly beautiful and what a wonderful tribute to your dear sweet mother, she has written a treasured keep sake and how nice to honor her by this. I love it!

      BTW you now on the list... :) Katie

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Thanks Katie for your touching comments! BTW, you are very sweet. I saw my addition (but you didn't have too) and am glad to be on the list:) Thanks!

    • Little Kim profile image

      Little Kim 6 years ago from Any town U.S.A.

      So glad for the positive ending. Walk on and never look back!

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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      You are right! Thanks for stopping by Little Kim.

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      Ghost32 6 years ago

      Simple, to the point, Up and Aweseome.

      Sayeth the dude with 6 divorces before hooking up with Pam in 1996....:)

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hi Ghost,

      Thanks for stopping by and for the wonderful votes!

      As I am getting older, I am believing more and more that it is ok to keep searching for the "right one." I am so glad you found yours!

      Sharyn

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Wonderful Poem!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Aw, thank you Susan!

    • cindi h profile image

      cindi h 6 years ago

      Beautiful!! I got not even half way thru when the lump in my throat emerged. I look forward to reading more.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Thank you Cindi ~ These were pretty powerful words from my Mother to me.

    • GmaGoldie profile image

      Kelly Kline Burnett 6 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

      Oh, the walls we build. Beautiful poem. Thank you very much.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hello GMA,

      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. It is great to meet you!

      Sharyn

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      And GMA,

      Thank you so much for the fan mail. I appreciate your comments ~ they made me smile.

      Sharyn

    • tumblintumblweed profile image

      tumblintumblweed 6 years ago

      OMG.. that is a beautiful poem! Thank you so much for sharing that!....Awesome and voted up!

      Blessings

      TTW

    • tnderhrt23 profile image

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      This is a beautiful, heart-wrenching piece that I can relate to on so many levels! Thank you for sharing it, and for sharing your mom's love. Hugs!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Good Morning TTW and thank you for your kind comments and support as always!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hello tnderhrt23~ thank you so much! It definitely shows the love and concern I received from my Mother. No doubt she was preoccupied with the pain I was in at the time. I feel bad for that but am so glad she was there for me.

      Have a beautiful day!

      Sharyn

    • MobyWho profile image

      MobyWho 6 years ago from Burlington VT

      I should have written that poem for my daughter...so many painful years for both of us, but she has finally found a meaningful life surrounded by great friends. And I love Facebook, because each day I can keep in touch and know she continues to do well - and we can "talk" in easy ways. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hi Moby,

      It is so obvious that my Mother felt my pain too. I'm glad your daughter is happy now. Isn't it great to be able to keep in touch with avenues such as Facebook. Best wishes to you, have a beautiful day!

      Sharyn

    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 6 years ago from Southern California

      Stop making me cry.... This poem was beautiful and truly touched my heart.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Sending virtual tissue J.B. :)

      I've stirred up some emotions, heh? I guess that's good in a way. Thank you for reading and commenting on so many of my hubs today. I'm thrilled that you and I are following each other. I am SO behind on all my reading but I will get there. Take care!

      Sharyn

    • Lucky Cats profile image

      Kathy 6 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

      Amazingly beautiful. Heartfelt, real. WOW!! What a sensitive and caring woman your mother was. Very empathetic words and love coming to you from her. She feared for you, too, didn't she? All I can say is this is truly awesome! Kathy

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hello LC,

      Yes, my Mom absolutely feared for me. And she knew me so well that I didn't even have to say anything. If I was in pain, she just knew. I so much appreciate your thoughtful comments.

      Sharyn

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      Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge

      You come by your extraordinary writing talent naturally I see. Amazing poem, amazing pair of women.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Awww, thank you so much Pooh. What a truly heartfelt comment. I miss my amazing Mom so much. She would be thrilled to see all that I have been writing lately.

      Have a wonderful day!

      Sharyn

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      Carrie Hollister 5 years ago from Ohio

      Beautiful. Voted up!

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hi Carrie,

      Thanks for the comment and vote! It's great to meet you. Have a great day!

      Sharyn

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      OK...easy to see the tracks of your DNA.....Your Mom's loving poem brought tears to my eyes, Sharyn. You are blessed to have this treasure from your mother...as I can see she believed you to be HER blessing. Very sweet, very touching.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Paula,

      Thank YOU! To this day, this poem that my Mother wrote means so much to me. She obviously felt my pain which I feel bad about that. But she was always there for us with open arms. Thank you for stopping by. Have a great night.

      Sharyn

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      OK, at this point, I feel as though I am delving in your private underwear drawers in the archival wonder of Sharon (LOL)!!

      Oh my dear, how similar our Mother's love, devotion, loyalty, protectiveness from anyone or anything set out to harm their girls. This is the kind of piece (for me, Mom's journal entries) that gets us through the day to day traumas and strife we continue to deal with, girl. Words are meant to still help guide and strengthen us.

      This is amazing, as was the bond you and your Mom continue to share-- Voted UP & UABI, mar.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hi Maria,

      I don't know about the underwear drawer, but you are always welcome in my private space. Our mother's were amazing, weren't they. True unconditional love. I know my mom is saddened by things I have been going through lately. All she ever wanted was for me to be happy and make good decisions. I hope she knows I am working on it. Thank you, Maria, just for being you!

      Sharyn

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Dear Sharon,

      Note to self, don't make silly jokes on serious hubs... (I don't like to be in my own 'proverbial' underwear drawer most days)... but I wanted to say, in my own 'odd way'... that I believe in my heart that your Mom continues to look upon you, after you and is exceedingly proud of you/ everything you do.

      Please be gentle withg yourself always, mar.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image
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      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      I believe so too. Knowing that Mom still looks out for me calms me. I haven't found any dimes in about two months, so I am due. But I know she is always there. Thank you Maria for your encouraging words. BTW, silly jokes are always okay :)

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