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Updated on August 19, 2012

By: Wayne Brown


I met a pretty little girl folding clothes at the Laundromat

She said that she’d do just about anything to wear my hat

I said you sure can wear it when to your house we do get

She said if I wear it I might even let you slap me on the tush

But I just had my mind on some footsie in the toolie bush




The salesgirl at the department store was one hot little trick

She smiled when she saw my hat, told me she liked it quick

I smiled back and asked ‘is your car an automatic or a stick?’

She said well let’s go look and give that clutch a little push

But I had my mind totally on some footsie in the toolie bush




The girl down at the photo-mat had curly locks and big cow eyes

She said right off she like my hat; wanted to try it on for size

I suggested we head to her place to see if I could get a rise

She said that I am off in an hour or sooner if you are in a mush

Yes, let’s hurry as I thought of was playing footsie in the toolie bush




A little green-eyed honey was selling tickets to the picture show

She said she just wanted to touch my hat and would not accept ‘no’

I winked and said ‘stop talking and then off to your place we go’

Said she was not at all bothered and that I could never make her shush

But all I could think of as she talked was playing footsie in the toolie bush




That hot little long-legged number was tending bar at the Captain’s Scow

She said she liked my old hat, thought it was just the yellow cat’s meow

I gave her a tip of the brim and said ‘why not go to your place right now?’

She quickly locked the liquor cabinet and we both left in a hurried hush

All the way there I was thinking of playing footsie in the toolie bush




The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader was certainly one half-naked sweet philly

Said she liked my hat, wanted to know if she could wear at the game, really!

I said it might happen but we needed to head over to her place first silly

We’ll have some wine and on my couch you hinny can comfortably cush

But all the time I was just dreamin’ bout playing footsie in the toolie bush



© Copyright WBrown2010. All Rights Reserved.




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    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

      Wayne, I gots me a toolie bush hat that says CAT and it's yeller with the brim in the back, 'cuz it's made for more than playing footsy in that toolie brush LOL great hub, 50

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @ 50 Caliber....50, that sounds like a "gettin' down to business" hat that CAT manufactured especially for you complete with a convertible visor arrangement and maybe even an outdrive! Thanks for the comments! WB

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 6 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      Where's the Amazon links for these hats? I need one.

      Keep on hubbing!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @eovery....if I could find a bunch of 'em...I'd be wearing every one of them! LOL. Thanks for the visit! WB

    • profile image

      ralwus 6 years ago

      I don't wear nuthin' but a smile in the toolie bush. the hat is hung high, like me. Good one WB

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      I must be a foolie Canuck but what the heck is a toolie bush? sigh...we call them Beaver's up here:0))or pelts.Okay have to take my tool out of the gutter:0))) he he

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 6 years ago

      Well now after that dark side scary thing I came over here to see that lineup at the top all the while wondering 'what is a toolie bush hat?" I started laughing after the first 2 lines, couldn't stop, and then just lost it in the comments at the Amazon links!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @ralwus...well, then old have a clear go at it! WB

      @saddlerider1...surely you can put 2 and 2 together and come up with 4 here Ken...I think you knew what it was when you began talking about those little damn builders! WB

      @SilverGenes....nothing like a fun after being scared out of your wits huh? I need everyone to follow that path through the system! What do ya think...can I still do it all? WB

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 6 years ago

      Oh Wayne, I think you can do it standing on your head/hat! LOL

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Silver Genes...see, even in the comments, you write like "buttah! WB

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      I can't decide if this hub is about your hat, or playin' in the toolie little bush!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Tom Whitworth...Tom, the hat was just an introductory device! LOL! WB

    • lalesu profile image

      lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

      Wayne Brown, you'd better not learn to two-step, or you'll never get out of the toolie bush or get your hat back...and man's gotta make time for a snickers bar and chips in there somewhere, or he'll waste away to nothing, haha!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @lalesu...careful, you'll tempt me to try!LOL...already I can see myself in a John Travolta type pose with a Snickers bar hanging out one side of my mouth! LOL WB

    • sunflowerbucky profile image

      sunflowerbucky 6 years ago from Small Town, USA

      I don't know what a toolie bush is either but this made me smile!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @sunflowerbucky....Bucky, you're a really smart young lady. I suggest you file this one under the heading of "suggestive prose". It was fun to write! Thanks for the read and the good words! WB

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      And that ditch just gets wider and wider! Maybe deeper and deeper too! Your hat really makes the rounds. Ha!!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Truckstop Sally....Uh Oh...finally found that toolie bush hat...better start looking for the snickerdoodle now! LOL! WB

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