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Me As Leonardo Da Vinci !!

Updated on January 6, 2017

Me As Leonardo Da Vinci ! !

I am Leonardo Da Vinci.

If you do not a believe that I am the real guy

please do not a pinch me ...

but you can call me Leo for short,

just don't a call me early in the morning,

cause I like to sleep in and dream

of my home port, in Tuscany Italy.

I am an artiste visiting you.

I came here in my time machin,

an invention those who study me have never seen!!

I parked a my time machine

in the principals parking spot,

so if she comes looking for me,

you tell her a “Thanks a lot.”

Tell her not to be mad, but glad,

because when I leave

I will go back in time 2 hours ago and move it,

then she will never know I was there.

Heh,heh heh.

it will be just fine.

I was a born in 1452

phewwwweee, that's a long time ago...

I am a 559 years old you know.

How old are you young fellow, Wow!!

You are like a tiny speck of paint

on the huge canvas of life,

a smudge of bright yellow,

while I am an ancient hardened

bit of oil paint in the color of gray,

But hey, I am a still here with you today.

I lived with my grandparents,

lots of cookies, ice cream,

and a bigga pizza slices,

they were real nice,

when I was a child like you.

I used to scribble on all their walls

and I painted their home twice,

because I was a wee artiste

with nothing to do.

I became a Renaissance painter,

Renaissance means re-birth,

like being born all over.

Which is probably why I am here

with you all today.

But I guess I musta been born

old this time I must say.

I was an apprentice for 13 years

under a man named Verrochio.

He was as popular as that boxer

your parents call called Rocky II today.

But he was a famous artiste you know.

And he taught me how to paint

and even earn some pay, Yay!

I also studied biology, botany

and engineering

but my true love was art

Oh how a my grandparents were always

a cheering me for a being so smart.

But I was also an inventor

and one of my favorite

inventions was a flying bird,

An “ornithopter“ which was quite absurd.

Here I brought one...let me show you.

Everyone move way back that a way,

because a this a flying bird has no brain,

it is untrained and just might create quite a flap.

So when it lands please bring it a back to me

gently for it's nap.

(walk away from the group to launch bird.)

Some of my inventions also include:

A glider, helicopter, parachute, a car run by a spring,

a machine gun, a robot, a tank...tank you very much

, and a scaling ladder.

I also was known for painting the Mona Lisa,

It was just about ta this a big, like this a matte,

30 and 1/4 inches by 20 and 1/4 inches.

The Mona Lisa now hangs at the Louvre in Paris,

but it used to hang on that louver thing-a-ma-gig

on my blinds in my studio.

I am a so very much embarrassed...

I never a knew she would be

such a valuable thing,

and I used her to block

the sunlight in the spring.

It took me a ten years to finish the Mona Lisa.

She a never wanted to sit still.

Like a bucket in a well... up and down.

The painting is called the Mona Lisa because

she was always such a moaner:

“Leo, I'm tired of sitting here for hours,

Leo, I want to go to lunch,

Leo I need a cappucino break.”

Ah, but she was worth the wait,

because her eyes in the painting

they a follow you wherever

you a go in the room.

It's a magical thing and her mysterious smile,

well that was because she was always

five minutes away from her

next break to eat Italian pastries.

Heh, heh, heh. I used a painting

technique called sfumato.

on the Mona Lisa, which means like smoke....

(the technique of allowing tones and colors to shade

gradually into one another, producing softened outlines

or hazy forms.)

I put layers and layers of an oil based glaze on her

that made the highlights and depth

and transparency leap right out at you.

The King of a France himself bought

and owned the Mona Lisa,

I was a soooooo proud.

It was and is a most famous painting,

and she was such a nice a lady

to sit for me so long.

See that little spot right there,

(show a copy of the painting)

That's a Rigatoni sauce

that I dripped on her painting

once during my lunch.

I left it there because it

blended in so well.

Do you know what happens

to you if you turn

the Mona Lisa painting sideways

or upside down and look at it.

You getta really stiff neck."

I should tell you about another artist

I met on my journeys in my time machine,

I stop and visit often in the 1800's

with my good friend

Oscar Claude Monet.

He is such a fine a painter,

he always liked to paint outside,

but he said it was hard

because he always had things

falling into his paintings,

like leaves and bird feathers,

and in the desert when he painted

he had sand and tiny pebbles

blown onto his canvas.

For all I know some of them are

still glued under his paintings and glazes.

Little bits of geography

from where he worked.

Monet loves to paint water,

he likes how the colors

reflect themselves on the surface.

He is one of the painters

who invented Impressionism.

Impressionism is where an

artiste uses dabs of color

to show how a scene looks

and how the light falls.

He once fixed up a boat

as a floating studio because

he loved water painting so much.

I'll just bet you he even

painted in the tub, heh,heh,heh

In school he used to make

funny cartoons of his teachers,

he got in trouble for that

but he became very good

at making caricatures.

Monet made a lot of bigga paintings,

like this one called the Water Lilies.

Isn't it sooooo beautiful...See how big it is,

Here two of you unfold this roll of paper,

it is the actuaL size. Wow it is a bigga then me.

He told me once that he really

only became a painter

because he loves flowers.

When he was older, he went blind,

but he still painted

even though he could not see his work.

Thatza Mazing to me.

Claude Mone was and still is

one of the most famous painters in the world,

and he did some of them with his eyes closed.....

Well I must a be going... my time machine will

run out of batteries and I will be stuck here

painting pictures of Justin Beiber and Barney

Yikes!!!

I have to fly in my time machine

to the year 3014

to the planet Galuba and

visit some kids in space.

Arreeevaderci.......everyone.

MFB III Productions-

ArtWhimsically Yours Studio-(c)-2011






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    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Aren't you silly. I read a book about him and learned this, its not only acceptable to be sensual it is very Da Vinci like. Some how gave me some respectability.

      p.s. missed you MFB

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 6 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello and thanks for the entertainment,a very nice change from heavy stuff of wars and all that,best from jandee

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      I knew Leonardo was inventive but didn't realize he invented venetian blinds - but why else would they call them Venetian? - Oh - oops - no, wrong Italian city - LdV worked in Florence, didn't you? hehe

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Your play on the letter A is great, only you would think to do that. Enjoyed your visit back in time.

      Arreeevaderci