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Me as Leonardo Da Vinci!

Updated on May 13, 2022
MFB III profile image

Artist, actor, poet, teacher, songwriter & actor with 4,000 poems & almost 1,000 songs written, performed recorded & published on line.

Me As Leonardo Da Vinci ! !

I went to school class rooms and taught them all about Da Vinci by playing his character and reciting a humoress script....enjoy!

I am an artiste 
visiting you.
I came here 
in my time machine,
an invention those 
who study me 
have never seen!!
I parked a my time machine
in the principals parking spot,
so if she comes l
ooking for me,
you tell her a 
“Thanks a lot.”
Tell her not to be mad, 
but glad,
because when I leave
I will go back in time 
2 hours ago and move it,
then she will never know 
I was there. Heh,heh heh.
it will be just fine.
I was a born in 1452
phewwwweee, that's a 
long time ago...
I am a 559 years 
old you know.
How old are you 
young fellow, Wow!!
You are like a 
tiny speck of paint
on the huge canvas of life, 
a smudge of bright yellow, 
while I am an 
ancient hardened 
bit of oil paint 
in the color of gray,
But hey, I am a still 
here with you today.
I lived with my grandparents, 
lots of cookies, ice cream,
and a bigga pizza slices,
they were real nice, 
when I was a child like you.
I used to scribble 
on all their walls 
and I painted their home twice,
because I was a wee artiste 
with nothing to do.
I became a 
Renaissance painter,
Renaissance means re-birth,
like being born all over. 
Which is probably 
why I am here 
with you all today.
But I guess I musta been born 
old this time I must say.
I was an apprentice for 13 years
under a man named Verrochio.
He was as popular as that boxer 
your parents call 
called Rocky II today.
But he was a famous 
artiste you know.
And he taught me how to paint 
and even earn some pay, Yay!
I also studied biology, 
botany and engineering
but my true love was art
Oh how a my grandparents were always
a cheering me for 
a being so smart.
But I was also an inventor
and one of my favorite
inventions was a flying bird,
An “ornithopter“ which 
was quite absurd.
Here I brought one...
let me show you.
Everyone move way 
back that a way,
because a this a 
flying bird has no brain,
it is untrained and 
just might create quite a flap.
So when it lands please 
bring it a back to me
gently for it's nap.
(walk away from the group 
to launch bird.)
Some of my inventions also include:
A glider, helicopter, parachute, 
a car run by a spring,
a machine gun, a robot, a tank...
tank you very muchand 
a scaling ladder.
I also was known for 
painting the Mona Lisa,
It was just about ta 
this a big, like this a matte,
30 and 1/4 inches by 
20 and 1/4 inches.
The Mona Lisa now 
hangs at the Louvre in Paris,
but it used to hang on 
that louver thing-a-ma-gig
on my blinds in my studio. 
I am a so very much embarrassed...
I never a knew she would be
such a valuable thing,
and I used her to block
the sunlight in the spring.
It took me a ten years 
to finish the Mona Lisa.
She a never wanted to sit still.
Like a bucket in a well up and down.
The painting is called 
the Mona Lisa because
she was always such a moaner:
“Leo, I'm tired of 
sitting here for hours,
Leo, I want to go to lunch,
Leo I need a cappucino break.”
Ah, but she was worth the wait,
because her eyes in the painting
they a follow you wherever 
you a go in the room.
It's a magical thing 
and her mysterious smile,
well that was because she was always
five minutes away from her 
next break to eat Italian pastries.
Heh, heh, heh. I used a painting 
technique called sfumato.
on the Mona Lisa, 
which means like smoke....
(the technique of allowing 
tones and colors to shade
gradually into one another, 
producing softened outlines
or hazy forms.)
I put layers and layers 
of an oil based glaze on her
that made the highlights and depth 
and transparency leap right out at you.
The King of a France himself bought
and owned the Mona Lisa,
I was a soooooo proud.
It was and is a 
most famous painting,
and she was such a nice a lady 
to sit for me so long.
See that little spot right there,
(show a copy of the painting)
 That's a Rigatoni sauce
that I dripped on her painting 
once during my lunch.
I left it there because it 
blended in so well.
Do you know what happens
to you if you turn
the Mona Lisa painting sideways 
or upside down and look at it.
You getta really stiff neck.
I should tell you 
about another artist
I met on my journeys 
in my time machine,
I stop and visit often 
in the 1800's
with my good friend
Oscar Claude Monet. 
He is such a fine a painter,
he always liked to paint outside,
but he said it was hard
because he always had things 
falling into his paintings,
like leaves and bird feathers, 
and in the desert when he painted
he had sand and tiny pebbles 
blown onto his canvas.
For all I know some of them are 
still glued under 
his paintings and glazes.
Little bits of geography
from where he worked.
Monet loves to paint water, 
he likes how the colors
reflect themselves on the surface.
He is one of the painters
who invented Impressionism.
Impressionism is where an 
artiste uses dabs of color
to show how a scene looks 
and how the light falls.
He once fixed up a boat 
as a floating studio because
he loved water painting so much.
I'll just bet you he even 
painted in the tub, heh,heh,heh
In school he used to make
funny cartoons of his teachers,
he got in trouble for that 
but he became very good 
at making caricatures.
Monet made a lot of 
bigga paintings,
like this one called 
the Water Lilies.
Isn't it sooooo beautiful
See how big it is,
Here two of you unfold 
this roll of paper,
it is the actuaL size. 
Wow it is a bigga then me.
He told me once that he really
only became a painter
because he loves flowers.
When he was older, he went blind, 
but he still painted
even though he could 
not see his work.
Thatza Mazing to me. 
Claude Mone was and still is
one of the most famous 
painters in the world,
and he did some of them 
with his eyes closed
Well I must a be going 
my time machine will
run out of batteries 
and I will be stuck here
painting pictures of 
Justin Beiber and Barney
I have to fly 
in my time machine
to the year 3014
to the planet Galuba and 
visit some kids in space.

© 2011 Matthew Frederick Blowers III


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