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Memories and Meatloaf
Iced meatloaf it was called when I was raising my growing brood. It was meatloaf iced with mashed potatoes and sprinkled with cheese (either shredded by the manufacture, or more often shredded with the apple peeler.
I’m making meatloaf today, only it is iced with brown rice and cheese. (Ah how things change when you age) Also it is more vegetable filled than meat filled. However, I want you to know I did put meat in it.
Is this all about meatloaf? Not in the least. This hub is about memories and how it is so very important to build them. The meatloaf brings up memories, good memories.
I have a daughter I call and when she is leaving the house, to my inquiry as to her destination, she will often say “building memories Mom.” She is a fantastic mother, as are both my daughters.
It dawned on me that I had never thought about building memories; healthy children, yes; happy husband, most definitely, but never memories.
Now, in my later years of life I realize how important these memmories are and I would urge you, most especially you young folks, to think long and hard about the kind of memories you are building for and with your children.
Memories can make or break your child’s future. They can shape their personality and even contribute to their success or down fall. I know, I have done it all.
I have given good memories (although not nearly as many as I wish) and I have certainly left a bad taste in my children’s mouth at times.
I was a very young mother and stayed that way until all my children were grown. It is sad for them, that they do not have more good memories. It is sad for me that I have not realized the good memories that we did have.
Today I yearn to recall and I work to cherish the memories of my children as young ones.
However (and you know me, always look on the bright side), I do find that my children are building such good memories with their children and yes, even with me, on purpose. Some of those memories are so powerful that when I recall them I laugh or smile; sometimes shedding a tear of joy.
I have been so blessed with children who have grown up to be wise and loving and forgiving. Blessed, blessed, blessed!!
My point is…take your child or children someplace special each and every month that is a day just for them. Go to McDonalds, the park, the zoo, or the museum; whatever and give them your undivided attention.
If you have several children, plan alone time with each of them. It is worth it, I promise.
You know what is in the heart of your child (and if you don’t, make hast to find out). There is not a child alive that does not grow and bloom with the love and attention of their parents.
When they do not have this attention, they eventually wither and die, unless they are blessed to have someone come along who sees their need and fills it. I had such a friend. Actually I still have her. She lives far away, but we keep in contact.
Good memories are when parents pay attention to their children, even if it is to be reprimanded and set straight. Bad memories are when they are unjustly punished or put down for things they did not do or when the punishment far outweighs the crime.
Good memories are when our children’s accomplishments are praised and brought forward with joy. Bad memories are never acknowledging, or seldom acknowledging when our children excel in anything, (track, swimming, cleaning the yard) anything.
Bad memories bury the good ones in a heartbeat. Sometimes if the child is not strong, all they recall as grown-ups is bad memories. They become judgmental and become the parents they so much dislike.
It is sad. Many suicides and unhappy people arise from such situations. It can break a heart to know you could have made a good difference in someone’s life and you did not.
However, the past is just that! If you can help to diminish those memories by building good ones with your adult child… do it! If they refuse to let you, it is their choice. Let go. Know you have tried and there are other things you can smile about and help with.
I’m not sure this is well coordinated. I just know it is on my mind and I wanted to share with you.
I am filled with good memories and I refuse to let the bad ones rule my life. My parents are dead, so I chose to recall the love they tried to bestow upon me, not the pain they caused.
In other words I forgive them. If you have someone who needs your forgiveness…freely give it. If they refuse, it is no longer on your shoulders. Give it to God and let go.
Happiness I wish for all of you and your children and your parents.
Go build those memories!! Make the effort and reap the benefits!!