Missioned Out

The people of the little western village of Montgomery chose three of its members to send out on a mission. The mission is to fetch a runaway. George, Jim, and Ronald set off into the vast plains with 3 mules and a week’s worth of supplies.

“The kid is probably dead,” said George as he sat straight up in the small saddle.

The donkey was not his usual style and from the grim stern look on his face he certainly did not appear to be enjoying this mission.

Why me? Why do I always have to be chosen for these darn missions anyways? And, to top off matters, I have to be stuck with dumb and dumber. I swear if they get on my nerves, I’ll blow off their heads.

“We have to assume Little Buck is still alive,” said Ronald, “it is best we believe him to be.”

I must keep George from thinking he knows everything, because he doesn’t. The only way we have any chance of finding little Buck is to think he is alive and has left many clues for us to find.

“I sure hope he is,” said Jim, “his poor parents will be devastated if we don’t bring him back alive. And, I don’t think I can handle it if he isn’t.”

Poor lad, if only his Pa had not shot his horse like that. But, it could not be any other way after Little Buck’s horse reared and nearly killed their Ma. It’s been no secret the horse had been acting up for quite some time, but then that horse had been with Buck a long time, no doubt he feels sore about it.

George was in the lead with Jim and Ronald riding side by side a few feet behind.

“George looks awfully stupid up there ahead of us on that little donkey. Not as threatening now is he?” whispering to not be heard by George, Ronald leaned a little farther towards Jim, “funny the mule’s legs don’t buckle with the weight of him. Can you imagine the sight of that happening?” he chuckled.

“Shh, he might hear us, you fool he’ll shoot us,” chuckled Jim, “but, you are absolutely right! Let’s hope we find Little Buck sooner than later even the toughest mule cannot possibly carry that heavy load for long.”

The two men tipped their large brimmed hats and grinned toothlessly at each other.

“Darn critters,” two shots came out his gun as George killed two rattlesnakes.

“Now look what you did!” said Jim, “Ronald’s mule dumped him and ran off.”

Pointing the gun at both Jim and Ronald, “Oh yeah, is that right? Well, lucky for us it did because look who is coming back with that runaway—two runaways for the price of one!”

“It can’t be, is it?” Ronald still sitting on the ground shaded his eyes with his hat to see Buck.

“By golly gee!” Jim jumped off his mule to lend Ronald a hand, “It is! Well, blessed be! His Ma and Pa are going to be so happy!”

Ronald did not get too excited he had his eye on George. George continued to point his gun at them.

“Why you pointing that gun our way?” I knew things would get ugly, what’s this character up to anyway? Good thing I have my 50 calibre tucked in nicely hidden where I can draw it at any given second. I knew he’d be trouble, I knew it! Everyone in town warned me to watch my back, they said, ‘that George wouldn’t think twice in shooting you just to shoot you’.

“I got me a plan!” said George waving his pistol, “Now that our runaway is found, I figure it’s time to make some coin for all these missions I detest doing and you two dummies are my walking papers.”

The runaway donkey delivered Little Buck causing a moment of distraction. Ronald drew his 50 calibre and shot George in the hand causing the gun to drop and an onslaught of profanity to fly from his vulgar mouth. Swiftly, Ronald tied George’s hands behind his back and Jim managed to bandage the wound. Little Buck was weak, but he insisted his bandanna would look better wrapped around George’s mouth than wearing it. Only two of the three men sent on the mission rode the mules on the voyage back to Montgomery, the third gave up his mule unwillingly and was forced to take a real back seat ride. George was roped around his middle, tied to Ronald’s mule trailing along behind the donkey’s hind side. That’s what he got for calling two good men dummies!