ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Monkey Business.

Updated on November 4, 2009


Monkey Business.



I never did put
much stock in evolution.
if I did I would have had
a house full of monkeys,
freed by my own hand
from the local Zoo,
just in case any of them
were long lost distant relatives,
I took a bloody nose
in the seventh grade
from my science teacher,
he told us we were all
evolved from apes.
I raised my hand and said,
maybe your ancestors were
evolved from monkeys,
but mine weren't.
He took offence
and in a very ape-like way,
backhanded my nose.
then it was off to the boys room,
with me in tow
his voice full of apology,
as we paper toweled
my martyrdom to creationism.
I monkeyed around a lot
when I was a kid,
climbed scores of trees,
and probably ate at least
72 pounds of bananas,
but my only contact with primates
was Magilla Gorilla
every saturday morning
on cartoons.
Besides if Adam And Eve were monkeys
they would have had a heck
of a lot more kids then two.
I personally think the monkeys and apes
would find it a bit insulting to be
lumped together with man,
what with our propensity to be so
violent and untribelike,
Although I always did see
a true resembelance
to a furrowed monkeys brow,
whenever George W Bush
got up to speak.
So who knows?
maybe some segment of our society,
actually was descended from apes,
I say stop desecrating the graves
of two million year old prehistorians,
let them rest in pieces,
poor Lucy's been handled more then
Bill Clinton's little black book.
We need to start examining what's inside
our own skulls and become more like the monkeys,
tribelike and caring for each other
right down to picking the fleas
of of our homeless with some good
medical help and a place to stay
that's not a box or a cage.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • bayareagreatthing profile image

      bayareagreatthing 8 years ago from Bay Area California

      So funny and true all at the same time!