ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

It's Not Nice To Fool With Mother Nature...

Updated on June 27, 2010
What a beautiful day for a round of golf !!!
What a beautiful day for a round of golf !!!

One Beautiful Morning...

It was a beautiful spring morning by all standards as two old friends set out to play a round of golf at the local golf course... This had become somewhat of a rivalry over the years, because without fail, every-other Saturday was the day they always played golf together just to see who was actually the better golfer... Not that either were really any good in the first place, but at least they were in the same league with each other and had grown to look forward to the competition.

They had also grown accustomed to "Warming Up" on the first few holes and expected to make a few lousy shots until all the kinks were worked out, so it was really no surprise that on the third hole, the first to tee off shanked the ball trying to avoid the water hazard, and his ball went sailing of to the left of the green, landing near some wildflowers that were growing just off the tree line. The second to tee off was a little closer to being on target, but his ball rolled down next to the water's edge just out of sight. Both laughed a little because this seemed to happen on this hole very often when they played, so each golfer went in search of his ball to make their second attempt of landing on the green.

The first golfer found his ball had actually landed in the wildflowers instead of just close to them as he had first thought and he scratched his head as he pondered what to do... " I hate to mess up these pretty flowers, but I'm supposed to play it where it lies... If I take a drop it will cost me a shot... Oh, what the heck... I'll just play it where it lies." As he made his swing, a huge grin came across his face as he watched the ball flying out of the flowers to land on the green just a few feet from the hole, but there was also a large swath of yellow flowers strewn on the fairway in the direction his ball had traveled. Before he could take even one step toward the green for his next shot, there was a loud clap of thunder that just about gave him a heart attack !!! He jumped and turned around to see Mother Nature had appeared and was looking very angry at the sight of the flowers being strewn across the fairway.

"Why did you destroy my most beautiful creation !?!" She asked... "These beautiful Buttercups were put here for everyone to enjoy, and now you have destroyed them... All for the pleasure of playing a game !!! As your punishment, you shall never have butter again for as long as you live !!! No Butter for your bread... No Butter for your potatoes... No Butter for you ever again !!!" After speaking so harshly to the golfer, she vanished as quickly as she appeared.

The golfer was actually in shock as he made his way toward his long time friend to tell him what had just happened... As he walked toward his friend, he was looking down at the ground and shaking his head, " I knew I shouldn't have taken that shot !!! Why didn't I just take the drop !?!", he kept saying to himself as he was remembering what Mother Nature had told him.

By the time he had drawn near to his friend, he could see his friend was choosing a club and getting ready to make his next shot... After what had just happened to him, he sarcastically asked, "Did you find YOUR ball !?!"...

"Yeah... It landed over here in these pussy willows..."

A look of horror came across the first golfer's face as he started running toward his friend at a break-neck pace yelling, "DON'T HIT IT !!! DON'T HIT IT !!!"


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • obsexed profile image

      Katie Butler 8 years ago from Sensual, USA

      LOL, Thanks for the laugh.

    • shazwellyn profile image

      shazwellyn 8 years ago from Great Britain

      Hi my friend. This is a very funny hub. I wondered if you have read my hub on mother nature? Well, I think you will agree with me on this. I wouldnt normally post links but I think you will get a lot out of this one!

      keep up the good work!

      Shaz x

    • Steppeno profile image

      Steve Collier 8 years ago from Jones Road Farms, 1785 Ben Jones Road, Clarkesville, Ga. 30523

      Glad you enjoyed Lorlie...

      ... & the Bunnies are doing great !!! Should have a couple hundred before Easter... That will pay for the feed bill the rest of the year...

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 8 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Wow, Steppeno, what a funny piece! I guess karma is on the golf course as well as everywhere else.


      Take care of dem bunnies, K?

    • Steppeno profile image

      Steve Collier 8 years ago from Jones Road Farms, 1785 Ben Jones Road, Clarkesville, Ga. 30523

      I don't recall ever reading any articles by Patrick McManus... But I probably have over the years. I'm Glad you liked it just the same Ol' Timer. My humor stories come from old jokes I used to tell over the years and decided I would make an attempt to put them into written form. Sometimes it's not as easy as it looks... Its a lot easier to "Tell" a joke than it is to "Write" one... LOL

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 8 years ago from Arizona

      Aye! Funny and timely I needed a good laugh this morning, a pleasant change from the gloom and doom news. Have you ever read any of Patrick McManus's books or articles? He was a writer for Field and Stream magazine years back and wrote I don't know how many books but I've got a shelf full. They are light humor and when I read your Hubs I often think of his style and I think you run along side of him. If you haven't read any of his works I would recommend it, I know you would enjoy it!

      Thanks for the laugh and a good hub.

    • Steppeno profile image

      Steve Collier 8 years ago from Jones Road Farms, 1785 Ben Jones Road, Clarkesville, Ga. 30523

      I'm Glad you enjoyed it Tammy... I used to be a good story "Teller"... Writing is a little more difficult... But I have so many funny tales to tell, I felt it was about time I put some of them to pen...

    • profile image

      Tammy Lochmann 8 years ago

      Very Funny....I laughed out loud thanks. I needed that this morning!