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Murphy's Family Law of Averages

Updated on November 13, 2012
The vision of a perfect meal in a pot.
The vision of a perfect meal in a pot. | Source
The Silence of the Lambs Poster
The Silence of the Lambs Poster
The perfect alternative to cooking dinner.
The perfect alternative to cooking dinner. | Source

The story of an extremely close family
Like the ones Norman Rockwell painted
A vision of happy suburban bliss
That benefited from the white picket fence
With Ward Cleaver seated at the head
Of the Mahogany dinner table
And June serving the roast in total silence
A female Marcel Marceau who can act the part of a dutiful wife to the letter
While swallowing the desire to burn the roast to a perfect crisp
Throwing the mashed potatoes at Mr. Cleaver
Gripping the cold white dinner plate
A life raft for the woefully domesticated
What happens if the perfect family disguise
Is just a cover to mask their true identity as ordinary folks
With problems that make Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling
The picture of quiet normalcy
An arduous task when the former is a fictional villain
Time to pull back the velvet theatre curtains on your life
Drop the 1950s marital pretense and burn that roast immediately
Even Ward Cleaver appreciates having pepperoni pizza once in a while
Take Beaver and Wally to Walmart or to see the latest action flick
Throw out the sterile looking dinner plate
No life preserver necessary when perfection is no longer
A requirement for this family dinner
Let your children sing at the table loudly
Spill some red wine on your favorite pink Versace dress
And not care about cleaning up today or any day after that
Ward needs to do the dishes for a change
Let the boys be boys in the backyard
That leaves you with the house to yourself
Just what the doctor ordered.


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