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Hello, and Welcome to a Fresh New Hell

Updated on September 22, 2009

Hello, and Welcome to a Fresh New Hell

Hello, and welcome to this potential hellhole I'll lovingly call "my blog." To be honest, I don't really know what I'm doing right now. Actually ... I never actually "blogged," and if I did I must have been entirely underwhelmed by the experience.

Now, let me saw a little about myself. It's over there in my bio. That's it.

No, there is a little bit more in the long run. I'm from Massachusetts, on that side of the stae where we can pronounce our R's correctly about 75-80% of the time. I finally graduate from That Shithole Formerly Know as Regis College (just a note: I'll try really hard to cut back on the bad cursing. My boyfriend recently remarked that during one of those long relentless months where everything falls to shi--crap--and I've finally been pushed too far, I start swearing so bad that I could drive sailors out of a bar. It's kind of like the Hulk, except I don't grow big and green. I just cuss everthing out.) I'll go into detail about how badly Regis College sucks, but that's for a later post. Trust me, all will be revealed, and every single one of you will be bashing your head against your desk and scream, "WHAT?!!"

I practice Griffin Kenpo Karate over on Nason Street in Maynard and absolutely love it. You have to love any kind of of martial art when you, a 5'4", 145 lb. woman can flip a 265 lb. man onto his back, or when you learn a way to make the scariest sensei in the whole dojo scream mommy. There's ten belts altogether, and I'm on my sixth, my blue belt. I've been a blue belt for a very long time. And I don't like it. Aside from getting a job and moving the hell out of my house and seeing my friends and boyfriend more often, it's another incentive to move closer to Maynard or that area.

Largely, my life has been defined by my primary interest, which would be writing. I like writing. I've been writing since I was thirteen, and I'm very pleased to say that I've improved greatly since then. In fact, I had an idea for a book way back and sixth grade, and I finally manage to turn it into a novel, a two year struggle that finally ended two weeks ago!!! Applause and tips on getting it published are greatly appreciated! To the point where it's become a freakin' demand!!!

Only one of my stories has been published & paid for in the last three or so years. (That would be the college campus edition of Playgirl, 2006, I think. Feel free to go and buy original back issues, as they will one day rise in value.) That same year I did win a small (and I mean small) scholarship from Regis for a story about the Trail of Tears, and had one of my stories about the Trung Sisters (go educate yourself; read Women Warriors by David E. Jones. I'll talk about them later too,) at the same time. I've written and won 2 consecutive NanoWrimos and will be submitting a third story, posted some well received erotica, and posted so many fanfics I can't even estimate all of them. My most popular story was my Legend of Zelda fanfic called Lamia's Revenge .... Maybe you've heard of it? (I'll try to repost them all.) I'm actually going to rewrite it and submit it as an original novel.

I write a whole slew of stories, but my strengths & interest are in fantasy. What can you expect from a girl who grew up loving She-Ra and had her action figures--and dressed up as her for Halloween? When I was small Mom used to read fairy tales to me at bedtime, and I just got hooked. I never seriously thought about writing anything until sixth grade, when I was at the library looking up myths for our Greek mythology project. At the same time I was totally hooked on the show "Gargoyles," which led to the creation of one of favorite all time characters, who now, like my LoZ fanbook, has developed into a character in her own right. And because Gargoyles had so much going for it, talking about things like King Arthur and about the real life Macbeth, I started looking this stuff up, which led to a new slew of ideas and theories that I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY HAD TO WRITE. College essays and homework be damned, I HAD TO WRITE.

Still, as any writer will tell you, writing is definately both a blessing and a curse. When you've got a good idea and the time to write and the perfect place to do so, and you absolutely have no problem with letting the words flow through your fingertips like water, then it's a blessing. You have fun, you're eager to talk about your new developments with your interested family and friends, you're excited to get back to work and feel a great sense of relief and are proud of your accomplishments, then it's a blessing.

But then the REAL WORLD barges in. You don't have time to write. Your little writing space is now too loud or too quiet or too messy or people keep wandering in and out asking stupid questions, or are talking because they're just bored. Kids scream, the spaghetti sauce is burning, a parent is criticizing you for (fill in the blank), nobody's at all interested in listening to you or going over your rough drafts, you have to fight over the computer ....

And then, the absolute worst of all, your Creativity Demon gets up and walks away without giving you a reason why.

That is the worst part about writing.

Let me introduce you to the Creativity Demon. Everybody who writes (or paints, etc., etc.) has some kind of Creativity Demon. They take on any shape or form you imagine them to be. Your demon ordinarily doesn't like to just sit around and wait for you. When you get an idea it lunges for it like a overprotective Chihuahua to a strange mail carrier's ankle. It wraps itself around the idea and whips its head back and forth, making sure that there's no one else around to steal that idea. Then it grins wickedly, and this is when the scary stuff happens.

Your Creativity Demon is relentless. The second you get an idea, the Demon sits down with it and spreads it out like a map. It mulls over this bit of information, muttering and nodding to itself. When the idea passes inspection, the Demon breaks out the Sharpies and starts scribbling all over it. It circles the parts it likes and strikes out the ones it doesn't like. It natters on and on to you, growing more and more excited until the idea is officially processed and ready to begin writing.

Then the damned thing kicks into overdrive.

Some people--like me, for example--have very loud and eager Creativity Demons. Most of the time, I love my Creativity Demon, but there are times that she just has to shut up. You know, like in class. In Church, before I gave all of that stupidity up. In kenpo class, on occassion. During the jury duty proceedure. Give me a spare minute, and if I wonder about something, if I'm reminded of something, or if I see something that give me an idea, the Demon comes screaming out of the back of my head, pops up in front of me, and says, "Hiya!"

But like I said, the absolute worst thing about writing is the writer's block. I know and don't why that happens sometimes. When somebody tells you to write three pages a day to stave it off, by God(dess?), you'd better do it. Seriously. You can't ever let yourself lag. Always be writing something, even if it's just a beautifully detailed grocery list. You have to write, or the Creativity gets mad, waves you, "Buh-bye," and tears off into spots unknown. And it is so hard to get her back.

All of the bad things that I listed earlier, that may or may not affect your ability to write. Chaos may or may not irritate the hell out of your Creativity Demon to the point where she ups and goes. Even if you don't have any of these problems, there will be some point where you sit there and go "Uhhhh ...." Your Creativity Demon then says, "Nope! No helpin'! I'm off to the happiest place on earth--Tijuana!", and takes off so fast you're left with the sound of a sonic boom in your ears.

I've been churning out a story a week for the last four weeks, and I'm doing pretty well. As long as I'm writing, I can get a lot of work done ... and it pleases my Creativity Demon greatly. She sometimes will be quiet long enough for me to actually turn on the TV until she starts ranting again. I'm praying that this blog thing helps out even a tiny bit; I haven't had a job since July, and most of the extra income I get comes from

empty bottles and cans, rolling up coins and selling books on Amazon. (I've made around $72 so far.) I've been looking for a job, but the most I can find is almost always in the technical, billing, or craftsman areas. I can't translate Urudu for a medical brochure. I don't even know what that is! I've been all over Maynard and I've gotten three "I'll call yous," but that's been over a week. I'm going to have to branch out and look around Hudson and Acton etc., but I'm reeeeaaaalllly starting to lose both hope and patience. Watch out for the swearing.

Like I said earier, I don't really know what I'm doing. I know that since writing and kenpo are an integral part of my life, I will be blogging a lot about that. And since I seem to have so many "interesting days," I'll be sure to throw in a few my anecdotes along the way. Like this one, for example.

Yesterday I had jury duty. I wasn't exactly thrilled, but, unlike so many people that we've been seeing nowadays, I did feel I sense of civic obligation to go. I packed a bag with two books and a notebook (if you're a writer, always carry some kind of notebook) and got to the Worcester Court House. They actually filmed scenes from the "Surrogates" there, dontchya know. The closest I ever got to the set was behind all the caterers trucks.

But I'm getting off topic. I went into the courthouse, climbed up the steep marble stairs to the big jury pool room. I sat down next to an older lady, and pulled out a book and began to read, not really paying attention to anything otherwise. I was several pages in when I heard a scratching noise. I glanced over, and saw that the woman was scratching gold nail polish off her thumbnail. Okay, whatever, didn't bother me. I went back to reading.

She continued to chip all the paint of her nails, but I ignored it. No big deal, right?


As I was reading, I began to hear a deeper scratching. It sounded a lot different from before, and I took a deft look around my book to see.

She had taken her shoes off and was now scratching the pint off of her toenails.

I felt my eyes bug out and I ducked behind my book fast. I kept thinking, "Holy crap! She's not serious, is she? She's not doing that for real, is she?! Is she that stupid?! That's so gross!"

She kept scratching until I wanted to scream, "You know, you could have bright something to read! That's what sane people do! Sane people don't pick at their frickin' toes!!!"

Like I said before. Bizarre.

And now that I think of it, I was writing down some story ideas, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her slowly leaning over, slowly turning her head to see what I had written.

It's a good thing that I have to do this after only three years!

I'm starting to get hungry, so I think I

I'm starting to get hungry, so I guess I'll wrap this up here. If the website says that my blog is still too short, I'm going to scream. How long is this supposed to be?!

Ontop of that, my Demon is stomping up and down on my head, pulling my hair out and screaming, "Do some story writing right now! RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!!!"

I think I'll try to write a blog a week. You know, just to pace myself, and give you, gentle reader, time to brace yourself, you masochist.

Tell then--



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      11 years ago

      Welcome to HP. I think you'll fit right in. peace CC


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