My Heart to Heart Talk With Father Time

I'm back! After a little writer's block, I have found my flow to write the piece I wanted to write a few days ago.

As humans that go through life blinded in a sense, there are two things that I think halts us to make us sit up and take notice to ourselves and our environment. These two things are time and love. We all want one to stop and one to continue to grow. If we are lucky, we find true love and then time stands still. If we are not, we either deteriorate to die alone, or we find another type of love to sustain us. It could be something we love doing; like I have found my passion and love for writing. It helps with the empty kind of love we all seek that some of us never find. I'm grateful for that.

This is a theme that is always stuck in my mind. Although, I have found my love of writing to fall back on, and it has helped me tremendously forget the things I strive for and have not yet achieved like a true love; I will always be the kooky me who searches for a fairy-tale of unselfishness; an undying heart of humble, and a truth of life in the moment. So, my urge for love will exist if I find it or not.

I continue to hold onto a little faith that I still could find someone waiting out there who would accept the silly, nostalgic, and overly romantic type in which I am. You never know, right? I still have a little TIME. :)

Oh, Dearest Father Time, why do you punish me? Leaving me lonely for someone to hold my glance; is it too much for a rebel like me to have wanted a little romance?

I think back to how hard I always tried, and it truly took me a few abandonments to realize, that it’s just not meant for me. It’s not for me to stay tied down.

The thing I desired was the pretty dream of a love entity. Though, what have I found, Dear Time? One happy day then years pass, and now I endure knowing sad inadequacies about myself. (sigh)

Him and then he, made me feel this way, when I was chided for not having a perfect schedule of duties displayed. So many little inconsistencies plagued my way.

And at this moment, as the mirror I stare into reflects my mature self; I wonder whether it will be too late for a final love quest?

Oh, Time, why do you abolish me to this life I’ve lived staring at me now in the present tense? Choices I made haunt me to an extent, yet, they have also brought me up with a good sense.

Is that enough for me now, Time? Can I be proud of my hardcore valentines? I don’t know? I don’t know if even though…I accept my unique glow, whether I should be happy that I never found my beau.

The one who would look at me and say; yes, you are different, but to me, different is beautiful and brave!

Time…time…time… come back for me. Blast me away to the place that changes this course I have traveled; making sure I keep my wisdom, but forgetting the grovels.

Though I know Time, it isn’t your fault. I loved with a trust that was my own default. Maybe you just thought that none was deserving of my kind of pure faith, because truly loving someone, is giving up on time and place.