My Lost Chance To Say Goodbye
Saying goodbye...
The Story Behind the Lost Love
Prelude
One of my biggest heartbreaks was also one of my biggest whirlwind romances. He swept me off my feet out of nowhere. He was the sweetest guy, and I remember thinking to myself "Maybe he's the one?!"
But as fast as it seemed to start, it also ended quicker than I expected. Like many people who get dumped (for lack of a better word), I wanted to know why...what happened...did I do something wrong...it just didn't make sense! And unfortunately he wouldn't tell me...he wouldn't even talk to me...it was a horrible feeling to be left like that.
However, I've dated and broken up with other men since then, and, well, I've come to accept the fact that I won't always have a last goodbye. But sometimes life can give you that second chance to say what you want to say...and years later I did run into this same exact guy.
Actually, he asked me out on a date. I found out that he had broken up with me and stopped talking to me because his mother was dying. He was unable to emotionally handle everything going on at that time. When he told me all of this, I felt bad and guilty for ever being upset. The rest of the date was awkward for sure, but I was happy to finally have the closure I always wanted and I think he felt the same as well.
My poem "Lost Goodbyes" is a humble reminder to myself that many times in life you don't get a chance to say goodbye to the people you love (for one reason or another). Sometimes they are taken from you and other times they break your heart...very rarely you get a second chance to say goodbye...but if you do, cherish it.
Letting go...
Lost Goodbyes
If I had known that would be the last time we'd speak,
And I had known that our eyes would never meet,
I would have made my goodbyes last forever,
Just so that our ties wouldn't sever.
But I lost my chance to cry
Over the pain of saying goodbye,
And the worst part is I still wonder why
You couldn't at least say goodbye.
Did I do something I shouldn't do?
Or maybe I said something that hurt you?
Is this a question of guilt why you went away?
Or is there some fear that wouldn't let you stay?
But I lost my chance to cry
Over the pain of saying goodbye,
And the worst part is I still wonder why
You couldn't at least say goodbye.
Now here I sit without you and all alone
Wondering why you never at least phoned.
I find myself unable to even cry
Over you and my lost chance to say goodbye.
Sometimes all you can do is cry...
