My Own Retribution

I try to hide the emptiness you left me .

Just another hole filled with misery.

When im gone

will you see the damage done?

The tears Ive shed ,

the broken bones,

The pain ,

the rage,

this tormented love fades.

The smile I once adored

now tortures the heartache

you ignored.

Our years

together

now come to a bitter end.

I not only lost my love

I lost one of my closest friends.

How is it I can breathe relief

in the shadows

of our

shattering

loves end.

Should I feel that now ,

this time,

my life

may actually begin.

As we drift

further apart,

I ask my self

in a silent maddening smile,

Why

am i

not suffering a broken Heart?.

Just a smile

upon

the same face of retribution

you tried to defile.

Your cruel words

cant

hurt me anymore,

they

no longer

smother

the flickering hope

that remained.

Leave no smoke,

no ash,

not even

a brief glimmer

of flame.

The hate

consumed the love today.

Disappearing

in your jealous rage.

I glance back

one last time

to see if the fire

still burned

in your cold blue eyes.

The deeper my gaze,

the thicker the haze,

the longer the days

seem to erase

your

spiteful ways.

I wont be back

this time,

I wont fall

into your

awaiting cage.

I wont

let you

take whats rightfully mine,

this time ,

you will surrender

to my

undeniable rage.

You

once

held me back ,

shoving

my ego

to the ground .

Long long ago,

for so so long ,

you blocked

my souls sun ,

stunting my pride's

ability to grow.

But now?

........how?.....

This time.......

This Line.......

Dirty

dusted

forgotten dreams....

wiping away

your hold on me,

does this mean?........

This means.....

Here

is my

mutha

fuckin

day......

This is my time .....

blow away

the cobwebs

dwelling in the midst

of my souls

final attempt....

This day

is mine,,,,

and once and for all

....my soul

will shine.....

Shine bright

blinding

your systematically

destructing pride!!!!!!!

Zayleen Pain