My Own Retribution
I try to hide the emptiness you left me .
Just another hole filled with misery.
When im gone
will you see the damage done?
The tears Ive shed ,
the broken bones,
The pain ,
the rage,
this tormented love fades.
The smile I once adored
now tortures the heartache
you ignored.
Our years
together
now come to a bitter end.
I not only lost my love
I lost one of my closest friends.
How is it I can breathe relief
in the shadows
of our
shattering
loves end.
Should I feel that now ,
this time,
my life
may actually begin.
As we drift
further apart,
I ask my self
in a silent maddening smile,
Why
am i
not suffering a broken Heart?.
Just a smile
upon
the same face of retribution
you tried to defile.
Your cruel words
cant
hurt me anymore,
they
no longer
smother
the flickering hope
that remained.
Leave no smoke,
no ash,
not even
a brief glimmer
of flame.
The hate
consumed the love today.
Disappearing
in your jealous rage.
I glance back
one last time
to see if the fire
still burned
in your cold blue eyes.
The deeper my gaze,
the thicker the haze,
the longer the days
seem to erase
your
spiteful ways.
I wont be back
this time,
I wont fall
into your
awaiting cage.
I wont
let you
take whats rightfully mine,
this time ,
you will surrender
to my
undeniable rage.
You
once
held me back ,
shoving
my ego
to the ground .
Long long ago,
for so so long ,
you blocked
my souls sun ,
stunting my pride's
ability to grow.
But now?
........how?.....
This time.......
This Line.......
Dirty
dusted
forgotten dreams....
wiping away
your hold on me,
does this mean?........
This means.....
Here
is my
mutha
fuckin
day......
This is my time .....
blow away
the cobwebs
dwelling in the midst
of my souls
final attempt....
This day
is mine,,,,
and once and for all
....my soul
will shine.....
Shine bright
blinding
your systematically
destructing pride!!!!!!!
Zayleen Pain
