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My Own Retribution

Updated on September 10, 2012

I try to hide the emptiness you left me .

Just another hole filled with misery.

When im gone

will you see the damage done?

The tears Ive shed ,

the broken bones,

The pain ,

the rage,

this tormented love fades.

The smile I once adored

now tortures the heartache

you ignored.

Our years

together

now come to a bitter end.

I not only lost my love

I lost one of my closest friends.

How is it I can breathe relief

in the shadows

of our

shattering

loves end.

Should I feel that now ,

this time,

my life

may actually begin.

As we drift

further apart,

I ask my self

in a silent maddening smile,

Why

am i

not suffering a broken Heart?.

Just a smile

upon

the same face of retribution

you tried to defile.

Your cruel words

cant

hurt me anymore,

they

no longer

smother

the flickering hope

that remained.

Leave no smoke,

no ash,

not even

a brief glimmer

of flame.

The hate

consumed the love today.

Disappearing

in your jealous rage.

I glance back

one last time

to see if the fire

still burned

in your cold blue eyes.

The deeper my gaze,

the thicker the haze,

the longer the days

seem to erase

your

spiteful ways.

I wont be back

this time,

I wont fall

into your

awaiting cage.

I wont

let you

take whats rightfully mine,

this time ,

you will surrender

to my

undeniable rage.

You

once

held me back ,

shoving

my ego

to the ground .

Long long ago,

for so so long ,

you blocked

my souls sun ,

stunting my pride's

ability to grow.

But now?

........how?.....

This time.......

This Line.......

Dirty

dusted

forgotten dreams....

wiping away

your hold on me,

does this mean?........

This means.....

Here

is my

mutha

fuckin

day......

This is my time .....

blow away

the cobwebs

dwelling in the midst

of my souls

final attempt....

This day

is mine,,,,

and once and for all

....my soul

will shine.....

Shine bright

blinding

your systematically

destructing pride!!!!!!!

Zayleen Pain

Comments

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    • Zayleen Pain profile imageAUTHOR

      brittney 

      5 years ago from lost in my own minds lines

      Thank you dearly epigramman always nice to hear from you. You keep my poetic wheels turning.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      ....nice phrase there by Beyond Max - a heart stopper , and you are that indeed, also you are a poetic instigator always provoking and challenging and pushing your readers as far as they are willing to go with you - and to tell you truthfully it's quite a bloody amazing journey too - I often try for the same effect in some of my writing so in that sense we are kindred spirits - lake erie time 8:00pm ontario canada - sending you warm wishes and good energy - and I love your description of music defying genres and categories because I agree - good music is just good music. Check out The Residents and Diamanda Galas on You Tube for something a little different .

    • Zayleen Pain profile imageAUTHOR

      brittney 

      5 years ago from lost in my own minds lines

      Thank you very much for the kind words.

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 

      6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      You are a heart stopper! Wow. Amazing power. Just shook me to the core!

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 

      6 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Zayleen, I call you my tender flower because you are ready to bloom. take the time to look at others work and it will help you to find and refine your own style, although you already are a talented writer you can be a lot better. opinions of your work do help but reading others writes will help more. 1

    • Zayleen Pain profile imageAUTHOR

      brittney 

      6 years ago from lost in my own minds lines

      Ienjoy hearing others opinions helps me become a better writer

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 

      6 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      You have a lot of talent , But i am not critisizing you. i just want to tell you what i think. it's just my opinion. love ya!!

    • Zayleen Pain profile imageAUTHOR

      brittney 

      6 years ago from lost in my own minds lines

      i appreciate yourcompliments ...and constructive critisism...i wanted to try something different with this one ...its somewhere between song,letter, and poem lol.

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 

      6 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Wow, what rage, what powerful words. i would have liked it better if you had broken it up into stanza's. but your poetry is good. it should just be in poetic form not in letter form. Keep up your poetry.!

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