My Secret Diary
The only crime you committed,
Was to love everyone as though they where yours.
Until you came into this world
A perfect mum like you was told only in fairy tales
You where my dearest
Thinking of you breaks me down. It is unbearable.
I never told you how much I love you.
I just wish you knew how much you mean to me.
Every day I pray for God to give me one last moment with you.
Just to tell you.. I love you.
Why did you give birth to me.
Why did you when you never wanted me.
How do you live each day in peace
How do you sleep at night
Knowing there is a child out there that belongs to you
Do you not have a heart.
What crime did I commit as a child.
Why do you treat us so bad.
Sometimes, I wish you never existed
The only thing you have given to me, is Nothing!
For someone strange reason I still forgive..
And even as much as you despise me
Some part of me still loves you
Dad, tell me what went wrong....
Tell me why things didn't work.....
And please tell me somewhere deep down
You think of me.
How did you grow so wise
When did you become the woman we've always want
When we lost our mum
It was you who held me and said, be strong
It was you who comforted me and wipe away my tears
It was you who gave me strength to hold on..
It should have being me.. Me!
I should have being the one to hug you and say everything will be fine.
You where so young, and I was by right suppose to take care of you.
I am so proud of how much you've grown.
You are my Hero
My brother and greatest rival..
I know how much I hurt you
I know am the exact opposite of the brother you which you had
I never listen to you, even when deep down I know you're right
There is so much you expect of me.
And often and often I always disappoint.
The truth, you are to be blamed.
The truth, nothing I did made sense to you..
I know am not the smartest kid
I know that I never stop to make mistakes
You are the family genius
I will give up anything to be just like you.
I don't always get it right
But I live each day of my life
So you could look at me and say you are PROUD.
But every day, you look at me
You wish I wasn't born.
All you see in me is a boy who will never learn..
Big brother, I know you want the best for me.
I know being perfect and first is everything that works for you.
Sometimes I do the opposite, just so you could be upset.
Because even when I try my best,
For you it is never enough
You have being an excellent teacher
You always pick me up when I fall
You never complained
Every of my mistakes you turn to me and say.....
What lesson have you learnt ?
You made me understand that life is a challenge
But the toughest challenge, Is believing in oneself.
You thought me how to love and what it means to love..
You help me conquer life greatest rival
You showed me how easy it is to grow when you forgive
And you thought me to accept the truth for what it is.
I have a loving mum, who wants me to be a loving man
I have a father, who might love me, shouldn't jump to conclusion
I have a very brave sister
And a caring brother, who wants me to be the very best in everything that I do.
Thanks be to God, who sent down His only begotten son
Jesus Christ, my Lord, Savor and dearest friend..
It was Him who saw me through all my life's journey
And was always beside me, believing in Me.
And it was Him also, that thought me how to Love
I sat down today to think of my life and how far have come.
And how strong have become.. I hope people can learn
from my experience.. There is always a lesson to be learnt..
And as bad as it may seems, everything has a purpose.....
There is reason for every smiles and tears too.