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My Secret Diary

Updated on February 16, 2012

The only crime you committed,
Was to love everyone as though they where yours.
Until you came into this world
A perfect mum like you was told only in fairy tales
You where my dearest
Thinking of you breaks me down. It is unbearable.
I never told you how much I love you.
I just wish you knew how much you mean to me.
Every day I pray for God to give me one last moment with you.
Just to tell you.. I love you.

Why did you give birth to me.
Why did you when you never wanted me.
How do you live each day in peace
How do you sleep at night
Knowing there is a child out there that belongs to you
Do you not have a heart.
What crime did I commit as a child.
Why do you treat us so bad.
Sometimes, I wish you never existed
The only thing you have given to me, is Nothing!
For someone strange reason I still forgive..
And even as much as you despise me
Some part of me still loves you
Dad, tell me what went wrong....
Tell me why things didn't work.....
And please tell me somewhere deep down
You think of me.

How did you grow so wise
When did you become the woman we've always want
When we lost our mum
It was you who held me and said, be strong
It was you who comforted me and wipe away my tears
It was you who gave me strength to hold on..
It should have being me.. Me!
I should have being the one to hug you and say everything will be fine.
You where so young, and I was by right suppose to take care of you.
I am so proud of how much you've grown.
You are my Hero

My brother and greatest rival..
I know how much I hurt you
I know am the exact opposite of the brother you which you had
I never listen to you, even when deep down I know you're right
There is so much you expect of me.
And often and often I always disappoint.
The truth, you are to be blamed.
The truth, nothing I did made sense to you..
I know am not the smartest kid
I know that I never stop to make mistakes
You are the family genius
I will give up anything to be just like you.
I don't always get it right
But I live each day of my life
So you could look at me and say you are PROUD.
But every day, you look at me
You wish I wasn't born.
All you see in me is a boy who will never learn..
Big brother, I know you want the best for me.
I know being perfect and first is everything that works for you.
Sometimes I do the opposite, just so you could be upset.
Because even when I try my best,
For you it is never enough

Dear life
You have being an excellent teacher
You always pick me up when I fall
You never complained
Every of my mistakes you turn to me and say.....
What lesson have you learnt ?
You made me understand that life is a challenge
But the toughest challenge, Is believing in oneself.
You thought me how to love and what it means to love..
You help me conquer life greatest rival
You showed me how easy it is to grow when you forgive
And you thought me to accept the truth for what it is.

I have a loving mum, who wants me to be a loving man
I have a father, who might love me, shouldn't jump to conclusion
I have a very brave sister
And a caring brother, who wants me to be the very best in everything that I do.

Thanks be to God, who sent down His only begotten son
Jesus Christ, my Lord, Savor and dearest friend..
It was Him who saw me through all my life's journey
And was always beside me, believing in Me.
And it was Him also, that thought me how to Love

I sat down today to think of my life and how far have come.

And how strong have become.. I hope people can learn

from my experience.. There is always a lesson to be learnt..

And as bad as it may seems, everything has a purpose.....

There is reason for every smiles and tears too.


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    • profile image

      lesliebyars 5 years ago

      Enjoyed reading your hub.

    • profile image

      KatrineDalMonte 6 years ago

      Hi, WOW is all I should say really...For someone as young as you can write all this in such simple way coming from the depth of your heart. There is so much pain, desperation but also love and hope in your words. What a life journey, you have seen a lot, experienced both hugs and kicks from life, you have come a long way and I feel that you are transforming into a very mature person. You need to understand that all that comes our way is meant to make us unique and special in life's own terms. It's good that you have put your feelings down in this way through writing, it's an excellent therapy. Could you ever learn what life is really about, could you ever understand the feelings of others, what pain and love is, without ever going through what you have? This is all part of you, that's what makes you YOU. Keep strong and never stop believing. Your mum is with you all the time, for she lives with you in your heart and I'm sure she's so happy to have a son like you. :-)

    • Capedium profile image

      Ov Overo 6 years ago from Oklahoma


      I don't know what to say...

      Am just lucky to have a Hubber like you..

      You always give me countless reason to smile...

      And endless wonderful reason to write.

      You one of the most amazing persons I have met...

      I appreciate your encouragement.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Hi Capedium

      This one touched my heart. I am sorry for the loss of your mother.

      Your poem is filled with beauty and insight. I know it will be helpful to others. Thank you for sharing.

      Voted up and away!

      Take Care

    • Capedium profile image

      Ov Overo 6 years ago from Oklahoma


      Now I can't stop smiling... Thanks alot.. You are one in a trillion, more than a billion. Just wanna say thanks for you kind, comforting and inspiring words..

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      thank you sweet friend. yes I am a grandmother and it is such a joy of my life. God is so good. Your sister and brother are the lucky ones to have you.Keep up the great writing I so enjoy it. BE THE STAR OF YOUR HEART..


    • Capedium profile image

      Ov Overo 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Deborah Brooks

      Your remarks gives me joy and at the same time am so touched.. It was more than just a poem and you understood.

      I could wish for nothing more than hug my brother(Ererhe) and tell him how much he means to me.. You read the poem, and felt every words and saw everything, I am thankful for and want to do.. My darling sister and to hug my brother.. You are and will always be my most favorite poet and greatest Hubber, I have ever met.. Your words will comfort any soul..

      You are an Angel.. Your family is so lucky to have a mother, sister, grand mother (am I right), friend and guardian that is you.

    • Capedium profile image

      Ov Overo 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks Eiddwen..

      And you too have a great weekend.. I glad and thrilled to have a Hubber as you read and enjoy my poem....

      Thanks for the vote. I apprecaite

    • Capedium profile image

      Ov Overo 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      My life has being a journey.. The kind that hurts and at the same time smiles back at you.. Thanks for your precious time and seeing the poem through my eyes.. It is an insight to my life, it's challenging story and glory that I have found.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      My dear friend...this is so beautiful.....but so sad..I am crying..I wish I could hug you sweet prayers are with you..I pray you and your brother hug and tell each other how much you mean to each other.. I am so glad you have your sister...breaks my heart how you lost your mom....I lost my mom in july..she was a wonderful mom...I have wrote a lot about her....thankyou for such a beautiful poem...debbie

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

      I really enjoyed this one and I am looking forward to so many more.

      I vote up up and away.

      Take care and have a great weekend.


    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 6 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Beautiful poetry that is deeply insightful. Voted up and awesome.