My Thoughts and Things I Know
Thoughts About Life.
Just having the thoughts in my head about how important it was when I was a young kid. To know 1) my name, 2) where I lived, 3) that I was a male/boy, a counterpart to the female/girl, 4) I knew the difference in what mom said, and what dad said, (they were both serious!), 5) that it was important to know if a puppy or kitten was male or female.., (I had no clue on this one, but someone else always seemed to know!) 6) When you get in trouble, there was only one option, which was run, pray, and hope dad didn't find out!
I also found out if you were confused on these issues, someone would be assigned to help you come up with the right answer. And I quickly found out these "teachers" weren't always gentle. But they always let me know 1) what was best for me. 2) what would happen if I didn't, and 3) that next time it would be worse.
As I grew slowly and surely into what society calls an "adult", I was totally equipped, trained and practiced at well, just doing what was expected of me. 1) don't sing too loud, 2) don't clap too loud, 3) keep your feelings or beliefs to yourself, 4) stay on the right side of the road, and stay in side the lines, (which was why I was taught how to color between the lines.)
Sometimes I felt I was taught that the bad people are bad and the good people are bad too. That the only things I was allowed to do were things that other people approved of. (mostly things based on the bible, but some things were not.) and; It didn't matter how many people were doing it, I wasn't allowed to do it.
Somehow I managed to survive: I worked hard on a career, but was always afraid to work to hard on that because Jesus was expected to return any moment. But if you missed church one time, you wouldn't be allowed to go with him when he comes. That I had value, that we were all equal, but in addition to that belief, I must accept that some were indeed better than I was. (the preachers kids, the richer folk, and those who we worked for, or that dad or mom worked for.)
I was supposed to be a well-rounded fairly well educated American child, ( boy), who would get his chance someday, but not until we were finished being raised, and/or when marriage or military or some major event in life swooped us away. but the minute I was swooped away, suddenly the preacher, the school teachers, at the workplace, and just about every facet of society assured us that all we had been taught was wrong. So I had to begin again to learn about life and what was right and wrong. Usually it was still taught "based on the bible", but the meanings were now different. black and white had different shades. What really mattered at this point in life, was matching the values or expectation of those who surrounded you. If you had a different belief, well then you were a threat to others. Conformity, and compromise of values was the truth of the day.
Gradually, as I get older, I realize that where I missed the boat, or train, whatever your position is. 1) In trying to meet others expectations all the time, I missed the purpose of life, to be an individual! 2) In doing what was normal, or what was programmed into me, I failed to count the stars and constellations and find my own solar system. I failed to illuminate the inner glow from my own heart that was meant to shine on others lives and help them find their own way. I gradually gave in to the idolization of superstars and man made hero's who were obviously much better than I was; some of whom who succeeded far beyond me, simply by being an individual. (they must have made many teachers and many religious and many conformists mad at them?) -Some who wrote a revelatory or enlightening novel, from what was within their mind, and some who pursued dreams of invention and business, and some who climbed yonder mountains.
Now don't totally be distraught for me.. 1) I feel my parents did their best with what they had. ( they broke free of the farm, at least, or whatever they dreaded while growing up, to give me and my siblings what they considered a better life. 2) I did have a responsibility to support and properly raise my children, so I did find a career, and I did work hard to produce some fruit or value in my life. 3) I did risk love, I did see the moments of happiness that made it worthwhile. 4) I did break out a bit, when opportunity came my way and I flew airplanes that my ancestors would have died for the opportunity. I did climb a couple of real mountains. I did stand at the top and stare into infinity. 5) I did go back to school and attain a more proper education, if not more intelligence. I did a few things while retreating from loss brought me by ignorance. I gained wisdom from the experience of others beating my brains out.
But at some point I began to seek the real truth. Who was I really? What is my real purpose here on the earth? What am I supposed to carry with me from this experience called life? Out of loss, more than by progression and gain, I began to develop and grasp the reason. 1) The whole search of mankind is for discovery and continuance of our soul. 2) Individuality is Gods gift to us, but it is the hardest gift to balance with the free will that he also gives us. 3) Others are at a loss, except once in a great while you will find someone else who has discovered these secrets. The controversy is that some, few, want to find the answers and would walk with you, but others, they have no ambition to know these gifts and are blind and want to be led by someone else's dream. Evil men take advantage of this and take others hostage by their ignorance. Righteous men wisely and simply wait for an opportunity to share their quest for greater light. All truly great men have a righteous, unselfish cause that burns within their soul.
What we have all failed to see is the goodness of God wants to transform us. To transmogrify us. To mold us into earthen vessels that can be filled with valuable treasures. Every object that is not a vessel is simply either a weight or a treasure. An apostle once said for us to not let every weight (Heb: 12:1), hold us back. But lay aside those weights. Run our race with patience. The parents we have on this earth were limited in guiding us, in earthly things, but now we must (vs. 9-10) yield to the father of spirits and live. We are promoted to looking above and beyond and outside of this earthly environment. We are sure to gain our eternal future when we leave this world and its sins behind. Out beyond the mountain peak, past our parents ability, beyond the grip of gravity, Our destiny is our individuality, by our free will, when it is used to find our freedom. I sometimes felt afraid when I realized my parents had limitations. My teachers were just stereotyped explainers of textbooks which were written by men and women who maybe could add and subtract, and read the rule of English, but beyond that they were clueless to space, reality and the beyond. A civilization that is based on past civilizations that is based on past civilizations.
Now I know, or at least I am at the threshold of discovery. No, I don't have all the answers. But I do know what to look for. I do know that treasure is just that. If it weren't hidden, if it weren't valuable, if it didn't have a cost of lives, or require a treasure map, OR WORSE; what if the thing found is not recognized as a substance or knowledge with sustainable value? What if we lived our entire lives, and everything was kept status quo? like in the dark ages? Nothing nothing nothing and gosh, why did we even need to know the earth wasn't flat? Why did we need to discover America? Is man just getting restless? Why, they lived on it for thousands of years believing it was flat, that you could fall off the edge?
What have you discovered? What are you in search of? Are you locked within mans prison of darkness? Is your plight as one of ignorance, indifference, peer pressure, or of historical deceit? Are you stumbling with low self esteem, but on the outside you manage to act like an educated crisis manager? In my closing thoughts, if you are, and if you're honest about it, You might be ready to receive a new identity, a total makeover, and yes, you are candidate for a miraculous change. Please accept I'm not preaching at you, I'm only sharing my story. There is a spiritual awaking about to take place in your life if you're willing to let him/deity into every corner of your mind, of your heart and soul. He can take away every longing, every feeling of emptiness and can fill you up with greater knowledge and gifts and life itself.
Matthew 11:28-29, King James Version (KJV); 28) Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Documentary: Sept. 4, 2018
© 2018 Oscar Jones