My What Won't Open... What Do I Do ?
I Need Help?
I roll out of bed and as soon as my feet hit the cold floor
I yell what the hey
My feet our freezing
I can't believe my floor is so cold
I thought this was spring
With my eyes still shut I walk around my bed like I always do
Heading to the bathroom is my first stop
I don't have to see where I am going
Once there I will try to wake up slowly
I am happy my alarm clock hasn't gone off so I can still go back to bed and get some needed sleep
Then I hear the famous beep,beep,beep
I wonder if I didn't think it would I of had more time
Is it just the way life works or is it just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed
I think I twisted my back in my sleep
It feels kind of sore
I went to bed later than usual but it is what it is
The good thing is I didn't drink last night but then again maybe I should of..
Then just maybe I would slept just fine
Out like a light and not a care in the world
As I rub my eyes for the third time
They just don't open
I do what I normally do
Really are you kidding me
Did someone super glue my eyes shut while I slept
Now I have heard of everything
Not really I have never heard of this?
As I try no luck as you can see
Little humor where I need it the most
So I have the perfect idea
I will walk to the sink three feet over
Throw some cold water on my face and look what we have here
Whala ?
Behold a face only a mother could love
So as planned I turn the water on and boy the water is so cold
I turn on the hot which didn't take much to figure out
The other knob and turned it real slow
Not to add to much
More cold water coming out
So I put it more and more as if it doesn't work
Then all of a sudden
Yes that was me yelling
Hey that is so hot
Turn off the hot more cold water
What were you thinking ?
That's right you were not thinking
I shut both knobs off then look up
To what a mirror I can not see
O.k. my water trick didn't work
I don't get it
It always worked in the past
Now I walk across my cold bathroom floor
To my bedroom floor
Where I was going to replace the rug
So I tore it up the old one a week ago and now why didn't I leave that rug alone
It was worn and old but so am I
But I don't throw me out
I walk to my bedroom
I grab the bed with one hand and then loose my balance and on the floor I go
Really ?
Another joke played on me
Where's the punch line
I fish around for my slippers under the side of my bed where I left them last
Nope not there
Gone someone took them too
I fish around and pull out some old cd's
My cat usually tosses around
A couple of books I was going to read
Who is laughing now
I don't need them
I am hungry
I can do this
I will get the milk and have some cereal
So off to the refridgerator I go
I live in a small house
I have almost a straight run right to the kitchen
Oooww !!!!!
I stub my toe
I hit it on the corner of the bed
WOw does that smart
I grab my foot as if one rub will make it all better
I stumble to the hall way
I walk straight to the refridgerator and open the door
I reach in for the milk
Who put it way in back
I know it was behind the water jug
That I pull out to quick
I soon spill
Did you see that coming ?
I never did like the cover
It never fit right
I should of thrown it out
I kept it to aggrivate the crap out of me
So now as I pull the milk out and put the water back
I am standing in a puddle of water
I know where the paper towels are right next to the sink
So I put the milk on the counter and reach for the paper towels
I grab two or three and tear them from the roll
That should be enough
Well I guess two will have to do
The roll was almost empty and I forgot to change it
Too late now
I pull then rip the towels from the roll
I go back to wipe up my water spill
Wouldn't you of known
I wack my head on the refridgerator door
III II In the word of Jesus
What now
My head hurts
You are the dummy who forgot to shut the refridgerator door
So after I gently slam it shut
I go back to the counter to grab my milk
I put it over on an island I have in the middle of my kitchen
Now I walk back to get a bowl
I open my cabnet door slow
I reach in on the second shelf for a bowl
I pull it out slow
Shut the cabnet door
Like a three year old sneaking around for something good to eat
I put my bowl down and open the other favorite cabnet
Where I keep my cereal
I grab one of my many boxes I have bought
I put it down on the counter
What is the chance I grab the one that isn't opened
I put it back and grab another one
This time it was the one I had opened
I feel confident now
As I open the top and feel the little clippy thing inside
I pull it off
I place it on the counter
Then I open the bag and pour
Just a little cereal in the bowl
I shake it down
Using my hand not to pour too much
I did it and I am so proud of myself
Then as I lift up the box with just enough cereal in my bowl
It slldes from my hand and you guessed it
On the floor it goes
Not just straight down but titled in just a way
My cereal spills
I can hear the flakes hit the floor
I don't have see that one
So I grab my bowl of cereal and say I will pick that up later
Walk to the table with my bowl and milk in my hands
Set them both on the table
Take the little blue top off the milk
Feel for the bowl and then feel the cereal in it
I lift up the milk and pour it slow
Chug, chug, chug I know that sound
Very good just enough
I feel my foot step on something
So I stop what I am doing
Reach down to my feet
I feel one slipper
This is where I left them last
I have to call off the slipper police
Then I feel the tip of the other one
Just a little bit farther under
As I go to lift my head up
Thud I hit my head
Now I am just plain mad
I didn't curse or yell
I will take it like a man
I am going to have my cereal if it kills me
I forgot the spoon
I I know where that is
So I walk over to the counter near the sink
My cell phone rings
I left it on the counter near the island so I go over to the island and search around for it
I knock a glass off the counter that somebody didn't put away
Yes I am sure you could hear it break
I didn't move one foot
I got my cell phone and hit the center to talk
It is you on the other end
You wouldn't believe this but my eyes won't open
You have to come over
After you stop laughing ....
What do you mean???
Never mind all that
I will tell you the rest when you get here
O.k. you are on your way
I am lucky you called me
Yes I know
I owe you one
As I put the phone down no sense in hanging it up
I walk slowly to grab a spoon from the silverware draw
Back to my chair in the kitchen
Pull it out to sit down
I hear the knob turn
Then a knock
Knock,knock,knock
Hey open up the door it is locked
Great !!!I will be right there
Now where did I leave my keys???