ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My What Won't Open... What Do I Do ?

Updated on April 20, 2012

I Need Help?

I roll out of bed and as soon as my feet hit the cold floor

I yell what the hey

My feet our freezing

I can't believe my floor is so cold

I thought this was spring

With my eyes still shut I walk around my bed like I always do

Heading to the bathroom is my first stop

I don't have to see where I am going

Once there I will try to wake up slowly

I am happy my alarm clock hasn't gone off so I can still go back to bed and get some needed sleep

Then I hear the famous beep,beep,beep

I wonder if I didn't think it would I of had more time

Is it just the way life works or is it just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed

I think I twisted my back in my sleep

It feels kind of sore

I went to bed later than usual but it is what it is

The good thing is I didn't drink last night but then again maybe I should of..

Then just maybe I would slept just fine

Out like a light and not a care in the world

As I rub my eyes for the third time

They just don't open

I do what I normally do

Really are you kidding me

Did someone super glue my eyes shut while I slept

Now I have heard of everything

Not really I have never heard of this?

As I try no luck as you can see

Little humor where I need it the most

So I have the perfect idea

I will walk to the sink three feet over

Throw some cold water on my face and look what we have here

Whala ?

Behold a face only a mother could love

So as planned I turn the water on and boy the water is so cold

I turn on the hot which didn't take much to figure out

The other knob and turned it real slow

Not to add to much

More cold water coming out

So I put it more and more as if it doesn't work

Then all of a sudden

Yes that was me yelling

Hey that is so hot

Turn off the hot more cold water

What were you thinking ?

That's right you were not thinking

I shut both knobs off then look up

To what a mirror I can not see

O.k. my water trick didn't work

I don't get it

It always worked in the past

Now I walk across my cold bathroom floor

To my bedroom floor

Where I was going to replace the rug

So I tore it up the old one a week ago and now why didn't I leave that rug alone

It was worn and old but so am I

But I don't throw me out

I walk to my bedroom

I grab the bed with one hand and then loose my balance and on the floor I go

Really ?

Another joke played on me

Where's the punch line

I fish around for my slippers under the side of my bed where I left them last

Nope not there

Gone someone took them too

I fish around and pull out some old cd's

My cat usually tosses around

A couple of books I was going to read

Who is laughing now

I don't need them

I am hungry

I can do this

I will get the milk and have some cereal

So off to the refridgerator I go

I live in a small house

I have almost a straight run right to the kitchen

Oooww !!!!!

I stub my toe

I hit it on the corner of the bed

WOw does that smart

I grab my foot as if one rub will make it all better

I stumble to the hall way

I walk straight to the refridgerator and open the door

I reach in for the milk

Who put it way in back

I know it was behind the water jug

That I pull out to quick

I soon spill

Did you see that coming ?

I never did like the cover

It never fit right

I should of thrown it out

I kept it to aggrivate the crap out of me

So now as I pull the milk out and put the water back

I am standing in a puddle of water

I know where the paper towels are right next to the sink

So I put the milk on the counter and reach for the paper towels

I grab two or three and tear them from the roll

That should be enough

Well I guess two will have to do

The roll was almost empty and I forgot to change it

Too late now

I pull then rip the towels from the roll

I go back to wipe up my water spill

Wouldn't you of known

I wack my head on the refridgerator door

III II In the word of Jesus

What now

My head hurts

You are the dummy who forgot to shut the refridgerator door

So after I gently slam it shut

I go back to the counter to grab my milk

I put it over on an island I have in the middle of my kitchen

Now I walk back to get a bowl

I open my cabnet door slow

I reach in on the second shelf for a bowl

I pull it out slow

Shut the cabnet door

Like a three year old sneaking around for something good to eat

I put my bowl down and open the other favorite cabnet

Where I keep my cereal

I grab one of my many boxes I have bought

I put it down on the counter

What is the chance I grab the one that isn't opened

I put it back and grab another one

This time it was the one I had opened

I feel confident now

As I open the top and feel the little clippy thing inside

I pull it off

I place it on the counter

Then I open the bag and pour

Just a little cereal in the bowl

I shake it down

Using my hand not to pour too much

I did it and I am so proud of myself

Then as I lift up the box with just enough cereal in my bowl

It slldes from my hand and you guessed it

On the floor it goes

Not just straight down but titled in just a way

My cereal spills

I can hear the flakes hit the floor

I don't have see that one

So I grab my bowl of cereal and say I will pick that up later

Walk to the table with my bowl and milk in my hands

Set them both on the table

Take the little blue top off the milk

Feel for the bowl and then feel the cereal in it

I lift up the milk and pour it slow

Chug, chug, chug I know that sound

Very good just enough

I feel my foot step on something

So I stop what I am doing

Reach down to my feet

I feel one slipper

This is where I left them last

I have to call off the slipper police

Then I feel the tip of the other one

Just a little bit farther under

As I go to lift my head up

Thud I hit my head

Now I am just plain mad

I didn't curse or yell

I will take it like a man

I am going to have my cereal if it kills me

I forgot the spoon

I I know where that is

So I walk over to the counter near the sink

My cell phone rings

I left it on the counter near the island so I go over to the island and search around for it

I knock a glass off the counter that somebody didn't put away

Yes I am sure you could hear it break

I didn't move one foot

I got my cell phone and hit the center to talk

It is you on the other end

You wouldn't believe this but my eyes won't open

You have to come over

After you stop laughing ....

What do you mean???

Never mind all that

I will tell you the rest when you get here

O.k. you are on your way

I am lucky you called me

Yes I know

I owe you one

As I put the phone down no sense in hanging it up

I walk slowly to grab a spoon from the silverware draw

Back to my chair in the kitchen

Pull it out to sit down

I hear the knob turn

Then a knock


Hey open up the door it is locked

Great !!!I will be right there

Now where did I leave my keys???


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      Dim Flaxenwick That was only one day what happens if I talk about my week.Eeeeekk!!!Too early in the morning to even think.Thanx so much.Keep laughing that makes me happy.

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 

      6 years ago from Great Britain

      Oh This was a classic.! Talk about ´a comedy of errors?´ Superglued eyes shut, yes I´ve suffered that one. Face only a mother could love....... Oh bless you for this piece of hilarity. Brilliant.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      daisyflowrs Will do.Enjoy your day.Thanx so much.

    • daisyflowrs profile image


      6 years ago from Richmond, VA

      Great! Now I have to listen to Jump Around by House of Pain

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      daisyflowrs Just one of those days.Mary615 Now I am better up and around.picklesandrufus ooh sorry to hear about the broken toe.I try to be more careful but like my cat five minutes later I forget.Until it happens again.Thanx everyone and top of the morning to ya.

    • picklesandrufus profile image


      6 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      have done many of these myself...stubbed my toe on the foot of my bed again the other day too...except this time I broke it. Nothing much you can do about a broken toe, I have learned. Enjoyable read!!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      6 years ago from Florida

      This was pretty cute and funny. I feel for you. I have mornings like this!

    • profile image


      6 years ago


    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      daisyflowrs Probably the magic combination of both.Thanx so much.

    • daisyflowrs profile image


      6 years ago from Richmond, VA

      lol @ "the little clippy thing". Love that line! I need to ask, "Is this due to Karma or Murphy's Law?" Great hub!

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      clairemy I am glad I am not the only one who starts my day slow and slowly the day has to get better.Thanx so much.Have a great day.

    • clairemy profile image


      6 years ago

      This bought a smile to my face. Its just so typical of the beginning of the day and you have put it into words so very well.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)