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My Trader Joe's

Updated on April 23, 2010

Trader Joe's

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate Trader Joe's because that is in no way the case. I'm quite dependent on them actually. And it isn't that I hate friendliness, because it has it's place. But I'm just not sure what sort of Walt-Disney-themed corporate training that the cashiers are put through to become so obnoxiously involved with their customers at check-out. I'm all for a smile or two, but these people just take it way too far. It always drove me bananas that I had to allow extra time for friendliness when I'd try to stop by there on my way to work. I want to run into the store, hear all the beeping noises, run my card, and then run to whatever else I'm about to do next. At no point do I want to discuss grass-fed beef, or free-range chicken in the checkout line. If they had comment cards, I'd ask them to work on being more impersonal. I'd submit a request that went something like, "please ignore me a little when I come to your store. I like that. I'm from the East Coast and it's faster." I liked going to 7-11, not for anything I ever bought there, but simply for the fact that I could get out of there so quickly. Typically, the cashier at 7-11 barely spoke English, didn't care if I lived or died, and kept things moving with quick and unpleasant service. Perfection!

The Trader Joe's across the street from me though, has hired a new guy with whom I am in love. When I was a teenager, I waited tables at a restaurant named Bob Evans. They were participating in some sort of inclusion workforce program in which they bussed prisoners, (I'm assuming the good ones), in to work shifts with us. I think there were some tax breaks involved, but I'm not sure. I believe the new cashier at Trader's, whom I've named Anti-Joe in my head, is from that bus. His pink skin is full of ink, he's built like a prisoner, and he hates customers. I love this guy! I look for this guy, and I seek to be in his line. He's fast. He never asks if I'd found my purchases to be tasty in the past, I've never seen him smile, he's never asked a soul if they'd found everything they were looking for, and he couldn't care less whether or not I recycle. I'm waiting for the day that he has the meltdown that costs every one of us our lives, but until then it is HAPPY SHOPPING!!


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    • ahostagesituation profile image

      SJ 6 years ago

      Who finds this hub ever? Hilarious. I do read fast. My mind is the athlete my body envies. Thanks for the read! And btw, saw an earlier comment of yours, and you got me with the mags thing...guilty as charged ;-).

    • WD Curry 111 profile image

      WD Curry 111 6 years ago from Space Coast

      I don't know Trader Joe's but I know mind numbing, sentence map, slowbot service at the Green Turtle. You are clever, and I guess a speed reader, too. You're fun, you have a fan.