My_Psyche

He slowly sips his warm coffee while he puts down a book he was reading, as soon as the bitter sweet taste of the crushed beans touched his lips, it awakened his senses. He gently closed his eyes while listening to the sound of the rain pouring outside and the distorted sound of people chatting while enjoying their choice of drink. He smiled while watching the city lights from the glass window that night, he plays with his black wavy hair and his dark brown eyes widens while watching how the rain dominates the whole town.
People; men, women, young and old waiting under the sheds for the rain to stop, he thought it was such a waste that these people are not using the idle time waiting to talk to fellow 'waiters' and laugh about them not bringing an umbrella. He giggled slowly and closed his eyes while he brushed his feet against each other to feel the little friction and a spark of warmth that always tickles his whole being, he promised himself to do this until he is old, rubbing his feet makes him feel alive. He sits in the corner table of the coffee shop with his book, pen and notepad.
As he removed his glasses and opened his eyes he noticed that the rain is still pouring outside and the 'waiters' are still waiting, still doing nothing but look at their phones and tablets. He can't help but say "Talk people, that's what humans do... We talk."

He stirred his coffee and a soft music started to play. The sound of the guitar strings kisses his mind to be still and forget about the rain, waiters and city lights. The melody makes his eyes heavy with sensation and he can't help but to close them again to see the beauty of nothingness with everything but music. The message of the song being played is clearly seen in the darkness of not seeing anything. As the sound of a woman's voice started to blend with the guitar tune, he was taken to an abyss of what we call music. He slowly opened his eyes and...There was she. Suddenly, everything stops. The music, the sensation and the world.

He sits up straight and gazed at her.
"A woman" he whispered. The word never sounded so beautiful.
Just a few steps away from him she was sitting drinking the same coffee, she has a long black hair, brown skin and deep brown eyes. There's nothing so special with the way she looks, she was plain, simple, alone and ordinary he thought but he feels that a part of him was missing and she just completed that missing piece.
"A woman" again he whispered.

He closely watched how she sips her coffee, he wanted to know what she thinks about the music playing and about the rain. He was amazed by her eyes, how she run her fingers thru the pages of the book she is reading, how she scribbled while smiling. Ah! He wanted to know this woman but there's some kind of a string that pulls him back not to. He tried to read the book he had with him but can't seem to focus on the words written. His eyes wanting to look at the woman instead of the text printed in the pages of his book.

Her smile, it's like the morning sun. He needs to know her! The thought of her leaving the table anytime soon gives him an unexplainable bitter feeling and he knows he needs to prevent that from happening. He stood up and slowly approached the woman on the other table. He could hear his heart beat, as it beats so fast he could hardly breath.

"Hi, ummmm... I... Umm do you know what time it is?" He was so nervous he looked like a toddler asking for a candy.
The woman did not say anything and slowly looked at him. She did not answer, she looked straight into his eyes like an eagle looking at its prey.
He remained standing and started to sweat so badly, so bad that his hands started shaking.
"Ah, sorry I'll just... ask the... barista." He said blushing and was about to walk away.
"No, it's ok. stay... sit, I see you have a book in your hand." She said.
Her voice... Her voice is deep and sexy.
He smiled and sat opposite to the woman.
"It's funny you asked me about the time when I see you're wearing a watch and I don't." She said as she closed the book she was reading and met his gaze.
His whole body froze.
"I... I just made that up. I really want to know you."
The woman smiled.
He can't take his eyes off her, she is in front of him now.

"I see you like to read." He said trying to be at ease
"Yes, and you?"
"I love books, all kinds."
"Good, then we already have something to talk about." She said smiling.
"Yeah, I'm just... I don't know how to explain but... I just want to know you."
"Why?"
He doesn't know what to say, he wanted to look at her, look at her face, body and soul.

"You're looking at my scars." She said
She has scars on her left arm.
"Yes, because they are beautiful." He said smiling without looking at her eyes.
"Do you want to know how I got them?" She asked looking at his eyes
"Yes." He answered.
"Why?" The woman asked
He doesn't like riddles, he wants straight forward answers and he wanted things to be simple and clear. He wanted to tell what he feels straight away and not be a slave of this unknown feeling. He started to speak.
"Because every scar has a story, and I want to know the story behind that beauty. I want to know why you're beautiful... Why I can't help myself looking at you and wanting to know how your voice sounds like. Everything about you is beautiful, just by you sitting here drinking your coffee, you made my world still. I want to know why, how are you able to do that." He said while his hands are playing with the edges of the woman's book on the table.
There was a few seconds of nerve busting silence after he said those words.

"Why?" He asked her.
"Because I'm a woman." She said plainly while looking at the glass window.
"You're not just a woman, I had met few women in my life and never had I felt this... This madness." He said with frustration.
"Madness?" She turned and met his gaze. He saw a puzzled look on her face just by hearing what he said. He remained silent as he doesn't know how to explain what he feel.
"You think what you feel is madness?" She said smiling.
He kept his silence. She waited patiently for an answer but the silence between them was like needles piercing thru their hearts and one needs to speak to make it stop. She continued to speak.
"A man who lost his wit and tongue. I believe it's a sign that a woman like me needs to fill the silence to keep this madness going. Don't you think?"
"I never thought your sarcasm is also beautiful." He answered.
"I don't see this as madness, I see it as a conversation between a man and a woman who drinks coffee at the same place and time. I see a man who just saw the true beauty of a woman. A confused man who thinks highly of himself compared to women that the truth about him losing his senses over someone he doesn't know makes him insane. Insane because in a snap you realized you thought you can do and understand everything about life but here you are... tying to know me, just a plain simple woman." She said this with a calm voice while looking into his eyes.

Then, there was silence.

"Another cup?" Asked the barista while holding a thermos filled with freshly brewed coffee
He looked deep into her eyes, not hearing anything. The silence and the woman also looking straight into his eyes is too much for him to handle. He never felt so weak, so vulnerable... so confused.
"Sure, thanks." She said smiling.
"You're welcome." Replied the barista while pouring coffee into their cups.
"The sound of the coffee being poured is like the sound of a shallow river a man would cross to see what lies behind the other side of a forest, he would dare to cross the river with confidence knowing that it's too shallow for him to drown. Only to realize the not all shallow river is the same, there's a chance that he will lose his balance and stumble. Do you think a man would drown in that situation?" She asked the barista.
"Sure, not all men are the same." Replied the barista.
"Care to explain that wonderful answer?" She said smiling.
"Well, most men looks at the superficial state of basically everything but not all of them of course. Some see things simply the way they want to see it and sometimes ends up surprised to know that there's more than what they can see, so with the river you were saying a minute ago? I think that dude will drown. Enjoy your coffee." The barista winked as she leaves the table.
"True." She smiled and giggled a little as she stirred her coffee.

"He won't drown." He said
She slowly sips her coffee, not saying a thing.
"I said he won't drown."
"I heard you, I'm waiting to hear why he won't." she said as she gently puts down her cup.

"Because he will be one with the river. The river will be him. If the river pushes him to lose his balance, the river will also help him get back up to cross it. He will drown if he will use his remaining strength to fight but he won't if he will be one with the waves."

Then, there was silence.

"Do you know what love is?" Asked the man
"Yes." Said the woman
"Do you?" Asked the woman
"Yes." Said the man

"What is love then?" Asked the woman
He smiled and removed his glasses "Love is not being able to hear, touch or see but able to feel."
The woman remained still, not moving a muscle.
"How about you? What is love?" He asked while playing with the pages of his book.
"It's Jesus." She said without blinking.
"So you're a Christian, you believe in him and you believe that he is love?" He asked while looking away to see the city lights from the window.
The woman remained silent and kept looking at the mans face trying to meet his gaze.
"You refuse to answer the question or you don't know how to answer it?" He asked, finally looking into her eyes.
"I don't need to answer, you already knew the answer to that question." She smiled sipping the last of her coffee.
"You never fail to confuse me woman, actually I don't know the answer. Please, enlighten me." He said frowning and taking a deep breath.
"You said love is not being able to hear, touch or see but able to feel... That's him. That's Jesus. He is in me and he is in you and you knew something was missing and now you found it. You don't want to know me... You want to know who is in me, you don't want to know why I'm beautiful in your eyes... You want to know who makes me beautiful. You don't want to hear my voice, you want to know who gave me my voice, you don't want to know my scars stories, you want to know who healed them. You think this is madness because you can't handle God's wisdom and glory that surpasses all understanding. You know what true beauty is once you see it because your eyes were touched by Jesus. That's why I love looking into your eyes." She said looking deeply into his eyes.

Then, there was silence.

"I never thought silence could be this beautiful, I can clearly hear my heart beat." Said the woman as she slowly closes her eyes.
"I... don't know what to say." Said the man.
"Then don't say anything. Silence is not a bad thing, silence is a profound music for me." She said while her eyes still closed.
"It's no longer raining outside." He said
"Yeah, that's good. I have to go now." She said as she was about to leave.
The man suddenly felt a sudden panic, he doesn't want her to leave yet! No, she can't leave. She can't just leave, he wanted to talk to her more. He wanted to be with her, no he needs to be with her.
"No, please don't leave yet." He said.
"I want to go now, it's been a great chat." She said
"You can't go, I mean... I want you to stay for a few more minutes, I... Still want to chat." The man nervously tried to find the right words but failed.
"Why?" Asked the woman.
"Because, I think.. I think you're my river." He said.

She remained still.
He can't breath.
She looks into his eyes like her life depends on it.
He can't move.

"I want to know you more, I want to be one with you. You can push me, but i know I won't lose my balance." He said.
She kept her silence.
"Please say something, this is killing me." He said with frustration.
The woman started to speak softly "I'll be your river, but promise me you won't drown."

Then, there was silence.

The man smiled and started to feel an unknown sensation that's new to him. It's more than what words could possibly explain.
"I have to go now." Said the woman.
"Will I see you again tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"I'll be here same time, I'll bring a new book." He said with so much excitement.
"I'll be here with the same book." She said.
"Oh ok, you're not yet done with this one?" He asked while checking the pages.
"I read it a million times, I just want to read it over and over again until I die."
Again, he wanted to know why she would read the same book in a lifetime.
"I know you want to know why... But you don't want to ask."
"Yes, why?" He said smiling.
"Because that book holds the key to life's mysteries. It hold the answers to questions this world could never answer. It defines life and guides me how to live it. Its full of stories about love, war, pain, adventures and drama. Most of all I love the author."
He slowly opened the book and looked at the first page.
He smiled and read out the title "It's the Holy Bible"

"Yes." She said
He remained silent while looking at the bible and then started to speak gently.
"I have read thousands of novels but I have never opened the bible." There's a stroke of sadness in his voice.
"Let's read it together then." She said smiling
"That would be fantastic."

He remained still looking at the empty chair where she was sitting. He's still in awe.
How could this woman make him feel this way? He closed his eyes and realized he is such a fool. He started to laugh, he laughed so hard that tears flowed from his eyes, he laughed so hard that people inside the coffee shop started to look at him with a puzzled look as he stamp his feet while laughing. He slowly whispers "Woman... Oh! Woman... I was not able to get your name." He then stood up and left the coffee shop with a smile.

IreneTabangay