No Value Placed On Memories

With the holiday season upon us, so many emotions and thoughts are running through my head and rushing to the surface. For the last three years, holidays have always been the hardest time of year for me. Remembering how things use to be.

This time of year has become so commercialized. I hate the commercialization of holidays. It's become about who can spend the most money or buy the best gift. It's never about the true meaning of Christmas. It should be about giving and showing love, and good will toward others.... a time for family and friends.

For me, the last few years have been a struggle, in more ways then one. Emotionally is I struggle. Remembering those fond memories of holidays and special events with my late husband, and our kids growing up. These memories leave me longing for the past. I long to see the love of my life one last time or to hear his big booming voice. I want to feel his arms wrapped around me placing a kiss on my forehead and telling me... 'everything is going to be alright'. I want to see my sons and my grandson sitting around the table again... just to hear their laughter and see their smiling faces enjoying a holiday dinner. I miss the days of preparing large meals and family gatherings. To me the most important things in life are times spent with family and friends.

It took the actions of someone I once cared about to make me realize what's most important in life. It never was about the material things of mine you won't allow me to have from your house when I decided to walk out on you. It became about the memories and sentimental value of so many of those things. The fishing pole I used when John burned my line, so I couldn't reel in a fish bigger than his catch of the day. The 4 wheeler with the repaired seat my oldest son tore during hunting season. The same 4 wheeler my youngest grew up riding. The same one his dad took him and his big brother hunting to haul their first buck into the cabin. My late husband's ammo box with all the baby pictures on it of our son.... Johnny in his little camo sweats and the pic with his cat ears and tail for Halloween. The Christmas decorations from mine and my family's past. These all hold sentimental value to me not materialistic value. The biggest heart break of all is the CD of pictures. I had a friend pull all of these from a computer which had crashed. I thought they were lost forever. I remember when he handed me the CD, I cried like a baby. This CD contained pictures of my 5 day old granddaughter, ones which can never be replaced. The only pictures I have of my granddaughter, Lily Grace.

These items have no monetary value to me but SENTIMENTAL value. How do you place a value on any of these things to fight you in court? To me, it's not about the monetary value of them, but the sentimental value. These memories with sentimental value make me long to have my old life back. This is just a dream, but to have my things would be a piece of my past I could hold onto with the memories.

This year there's no family or friends to cook for and help celebrate the holiday season. No table filled with family and friends or a house full of laughter. It's just me and my own thoughts and memories of those special moments in my life through the years. For me, these events put things in perspective this year. I may not have lots of money or family or friends in my life. However, this season is about giving and helping others. I won't sit at home and dwell on the past. I will find a way to get out and give back to others. I have a heart of gold, I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. I'll do for others before I do for myself. I may think too much and talk too much. I may even break out in a song even though I can't carry a tune. I will give to others, before I ever take. These are all the things that make me... ME.

I hope this made you think about the true meaning of Christmas, family, friends, loved ones, and memories. Always about making those great memories with family and friends. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and remember what's most important this season.

Family and memories are two of the most important things in this life. Live in the moment, cherish your memories with your loved ones, because in the end this is all we have. Live for today. Tomorrow is never promised.