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North Side Of A Horse

Updated on August 10, 2013
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I awoke, my head throbbin’

And remembered, Oh Lord

I had been drinkin’

I wanted more sleep

But was aware something was wrong

When I pulled the sheet up to my neck

And realized they were panties

Oh God, what was I thinkin’

I turned to look and sure enough

Laying by my side, on her elbows winkin'

With a red puckered mouth,

She looked just like

The north side of a horse going south

Even her tangled mane

Swished flies from her face

I attempted to flee

But my arm was caught ‘neath her

Escape was futile so I bellowed a scream

And woke myself realizing

It was only a dream

I was awash in relief but then felt something stir

So I moaned, oh no, and my heart was a shrinkin’

But to my surprise, up popped the most beautiful gal

Who took one look at me and moaned

Oh Lord, what was I thinkin’





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    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you Suzette : )

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      5 years ago from Taos, NM

      Hilarious! You know how to make us laugh!

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      : )

      Thanks Jose!

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 

      5 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      LOL! Don't you just hate when that happens.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you sweety!

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 

      5 years ago from India

      Very beautifully written poem and this is funny in its own way,

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, vertualit

    • vertualit profile image

      Abdus Salam 

      5 years ago from Bangladesh

      very funny. like it :)

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, FyrFytr!

    • FyrFytr234 profile image

      FyrFytr234 

      5 years ago

      LOL. Well done Wayne. Nothing worse than waking up to Coyote ugly first thing in the morning! I'm glad it was only a dream...or nightmare.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thanks for the visit and the support, Lesley!

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you very much, Susan!

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 

      5 years ago

      HAHAHA!...why do we always want that which doesn't want us back?

      Hilarious, sir!

      voting/sharing..

      btw - that is one gorgeous back end!

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 

      5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Very funny. Thanks for the laughs.

      Voted up, funny, and awesome.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, Frank. Crazy good is...well it's good! Thanks for the compliment!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      LOL my god this was crazy good :) voted up and crazy good!!!!!

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you....I guess a wet nose dog is a happy dog! : )

    • wetnosedogs profile image

      wetnosedogs 

      5 years ago from Alabama

      This is rich and funny. Thanks for the laugh.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you Dear Audrey!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      5 years ago from California

      Made me chuckle!

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, Daisy! ( :

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      That's right. If you're going to look a gift horse in the mouth...make sure you're at the right end!

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 

      5 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Wayne,

      Your poem is terrific! I'm still grinning...thanks!

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 

      5 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Great one Wayne! It's all in how you look at things I guess. Very funny!

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, Dana. Always happy to put a smile on someones face.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks for a much needed laugh. That is the beauty of good poetry, it makes us react, and in this case I am laughing and shaking my head.... Great ending too. I did not see that one coming.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Hey, whats wrong with the picture? It's a self portrait... ( :

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you very much for you support, Will. It's always an honor to have you here.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      You made me smile with your comment. I'm glad I could lighten up your day

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. Absolutely delightful and that pic is priceless. Enjoyed.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 

      5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Funny, funny stuff and voted that way.

    • profile image

      Joanne M Olivieri 

      5 years ago

      I cannot stop laughing.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Glad you liked it! And thanks for the share.

    • embarrett91 profile image

      Erika 

      5 years ago

      LOL I loved this, I also like how you even wrote with the perfect accent for it. This is great, voted up and sharing :)

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you very much, Linda!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      I'll be the laughing stock of HP! Ain't happen' my friend! :-)

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, bravewarrior. I'll be waiting for a hub about your Brad Pitt dream ( :

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Funny, Wayne! Last night I dreamed I had sex with Brad Pitt (seriously!). I sure hope he didn't wake up saying the same thing!

    • Linda Compton profile image

      Linda Compton 

      5 years ago from The Land of Enchantment

      Ah, Wayne,

      This is a GOOD ONE!!!! Your whimsical thinkin' had you lasso some good work here. Thanks for the romp. L.

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      : ) Thank you, neighbor!

    • Radcliff profile image

      Liz Davis 

      5 years ago from Hudson, FL

      LOL Love it!

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Lol. somehow I just knew my friend Colin would get a kick (and that's what happens when your standing behind a horse) out of this one.

      Hope your weekend is a great one!!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      Funny you mention this Sir Wayne I was thinkin' the same thing when I saw this picture ...... lol lol lol, oh never mind. lol

      Gotta say you are definitely in Epi's territory when you write something like this but then again when I write something like this I often think of my buddy WB, lol , so that just goes to show you , great minds truly do think alive and now this is my lullaby, and I am going back to bed.

      Although you have greatly inspired me with this piece so you know what that means - I may have to come up with a poetic reply , lol.

      Sending you warm wishes as I watch the sunrise over the lake and how life affirming is that.

      8:12am lake erie time

    • wayne barrett profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Thank you, shanmarie. I appreciate the visit!

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      5 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for the laugh! The horse picture certainly caught my attention.

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