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ODE TO MY b. Malin

Updated on October 23, 2011
Photo by Stephen  "Could be Breasts"...
Photo by Stephen "Could be Breasts"...


This one's meant to poke fun at only Me...and meant for a "mature audience"...When I was a little girl growing up on Long Island...I called them "Bubbies" and was always very conscious of my older sister's and cousins Breasts, and marveled at the way they looked... And looked forward to having a pair of my own...This is my story...My Poem.

When I was twenty-one...

I still had none.

I was a "Carpenter's Dream"...

Flat as a Board!

A Pirates Delight...

A Sunken Chest.

I'd heard it all...

When I was Thirty-one,

I started to develop some...

But not enough for my babies,

to nurse from.

When I was Forty-one...

They were starting to grow...

But still not enough, so the "Wonder Bra"

Became my second best friend.

And my Mother said, "Someday you'll grow,

You'll be like me", she said pointing proudly

To her Breasts, that I adored.

"Be grateful that your Breasts are "Petite"

And not hanging down to the floor".

Isn't that just like a Mother...Whom I so adored.

When I was Fifty-one,

They were starting to come into their own.

And now "Years" after that...

They have become a WOW!

With CLEAVAGE to boot...It's such a hoot!

Just the other day, LoverMan looked and then,

Looked again at my Naked body and said... "WOW"!

"Where did you get those "Beautiful Breasts"?

I just smiled, as I pulled him to my Chest...

And silently Thanked my Mom,

Who was no longer alive.

But I just knew, that she knew...

That I had Arrived!


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    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Hi CrisSp,

      Yea, my Humor can be a little Crazy...If I think it, I Hub about it. I'm so Glad you and Hubby Enjoyed. But, Now, as of today...I DON'T want to get any BIGGER!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Oh Geez! I like your wit. So, what happened now? Can you give us an update? Lol!

      I enjoyed this one and was laughing hard next to my hubby while reading it aloud.

      Thanks for the chuckles!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Hi Sueswan,

      Aren't Mothers Always Right...Yea, at this point I'm ok with mine...However, I don't want them to get any BIGGER.

      Thanks for you Fun Comments and your Votes. Right back at you, have a Good Evening too!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi b. Malin

      Your mother was right. ;-)

      Woman with small breasts want big ones and vice versa. Not me , I am happy with what I got. So far they are not hanging down to my knees.

      Voted up across the board.

      Have a good evening. :)

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      So in the end you Enjoyed this one right Vinaya? Thanks for your fun Comments my Friend.

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Though at the first glance, I thought it is little amusing, but getting into the ode takes me into the profound depth. The imagery is very wonderful.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Hi Kevin, Thanks, of course this Hub was very Tongue in Cheek...and was written in Good clean Fun, so I'm so Glad you Enjoyed!

    • kevins blog52 profile image

      kevins blog52 5 years ago from southern Indiana

      That was cool Malin, I'm glad to see people can be open about them self's here on hub pages.up and awesome.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Hi Vespawoolf, so glad you Enjoyed. I know, the Male population seemed to get a Kick out of this Hub too. But really I was writing it for other Females...But the Men did add to it with their Comments!

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 5 years ago from Peru, South America

      Clever and very funny! By the way, I'm surprised how many male readers visited this hub! : )

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Hi VendettaVixen, Thank You so much for the Compliment...You are one of the most Mature 18 year olds, and I feel proud to have you as a Follower. So glad to hear that you are not a "Boob Bimbo"! I also look forward to Following your Hubs.

    • VendettaVixen profile image

      VendettaVixen 5 years ago from Ireland

      B. Malin, I have to congratulate you on such a fantastic poem. Made me smile.

      However, I also have to scold you on one of your earlier comments, suggesting that today's young women would rather have a boob job than wait for their breasts to come in. I'm 18, and have no breasts to speak of. Would I consider surgery? Not a chance. I think that would be quite vain and disgusting.

      I don't mean to sound irked, I merely want to assure you that not all of today's youths are spoiled, self-involved, image-obsessed bimbos.

      Again, a truely brilliant poem, and I can't wait to check out the rest of your work.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Hi Lyricwriter, so glad you could see the Humor I was conveying...It was my Funny Nightmare for oh so long...Time as paid off! Thanks for your Nice Comments.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 5 years ago from West Virginia

      Up, awesome, and funny! This was comical b Malin. This is a classic:) Great title by the Hook, line, and sinker:)

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      You know Saddlerider, even as a child, I talked about them...much to my Families Horror. MY Sister and I were living with an Aunt & Uncle at the time, and going on a Family vacation to Asbury Park. I made it the topic of Conversation... What can I say...Now I write about them! All in Good, Clean, Fun!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      Let's just say you PERKED my interest with the Boobie talk..LoL

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Oh A.A. you are too Funny...Ok, so now that you've come back, could read something Current? You Devil Man You! So Glad I made the Link to the Erotic and Sensual Collection!

      You are also too Funny Saddlerider, did you two Talk, (you and A.A.) or do two "Creative Minds" just think alike?? This is what I Love about Hub Pages, the "Sophisticated Talk"...Ha, Ha!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      This brought a chuckle from the Saddle. I am a breast man and a butt man, however breast's first. I love how you went from stage to stage and finally ended up with quite the pair:0)) to bad you couldn't display them here, he he. Heck I had a mother-in-law who was 60 at the time I was 32.

      And every time I would pay a visit,she would pull me aside and whip on of her mammarys out that she was so proud of because they were so large and pull my head down to try and brush them in my face. Dam she was a wild wild mother in law. May she RIP with her mammary's Lol....Loved this hub made me ROFL....

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

      Had to revisit this piece, because it's the first poem I read by you. And secondly because of the tingling feeling I get when reading it. Linking to our erotic and sensual collection...

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Well, Dream On, I'm so glad Mine are now Average...Nothing over the TOP (if you'll pardon the Pun). And when my Granddaughter now complains about hers, I just smile and say, wait, and see!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 6 years ago

      I had a friend that wished all her life she was you.They got too big and became a real pain in the butt.So years later she had them reduced.She is so happy they are little fruits instead of big giant yams.Life is funny. You just never know.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Right back at YOU dear Friend...Yes, we do have Great Fun Minds and they are always exploring the possibilities...I'm still smiling over your "Johnny Depp" Poem Vocalcoach...And Thanks for the Link!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Great minds! My "Johnny Depp" poem needs this link! How amazing that we both created poetry about " ageing ".

      This is so much fun to read. Will edit my hub and add a link to this. Thanks, you wonderful woman!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hi Susan, so glad you stopped by to read. It was a Fun one to write as well. Thanks for Voting UP and Awesome!

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Was poking around for something to read and this is where I ended up today. What fun poem!

      Up and awesome!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      And I Guess to many a Man's Heart...Thanks A.A. Zavala for you Dear Comments as well!

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 6 years ago from Texas

      Awesome tale on a subject dear to my heart. Brilliant!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Mslizzee, and NOW I wish Mine would Stop Growing! Someone had a sick sense of Humor. Thanks for enjoying this one too.

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 6 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      I wish mine would go away. I fear I will have to lose 20 pounds for that to occur. thank you for your creative hubs they are always refreshing and new.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Believe me Sylvia, they will I did...I was just like you! Did you say "gummy Bear Implants"? Dear God, what next. Glad I could make you smile!

    • Sylvia Leong profile image

      Sylvia Leong 6 years ago from North Vancouver (Canada)

      Wow! This really put a smile on my face. Thanks for sharing this personal experience.

      Living in a city surrounded by silicone, saline, & now "gummy bear gel" breast implants, I am proud to have my small & natural breasts. :-)

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hi Shygirl, glad it made you laugh...and you never know about our Breasts...they have a mind of their own!

      ImChemist, spoken like a true man!

    • ImChemist profile image

      ImChemist 6 years ago

      Thanks for this great information.

    • profile image

      shygirl2 6 years ago

      Funny! : D Reminded me of my big sis...sadly to say her's have not yet grown up? : D Just teasing. She seems fine with the way things are now.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hi Nellieanna, so glad you stopped by and had some fun reading this one.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      That was fun. Glad you persisted! :-)

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Good one Sligobay! So glad you stopped by!

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

      If you think that your chest is flat,

      be grateful for the air in your tires;

      If you feel that your hair is sparse,

      be grateful it's not growing on your arse;

      But a man who questions his longevity,

      will remain miserable for eternity.


    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hey Bluestar, I just wanted to show that there is always HOPE...and it was never too late. Thanks for enjoying my Wit!

      Hi Fossillady, the sad part is the girls of today would have had a Boob job at age 21! But it was a fun write to poke some fun at me! Thanks for enjoying it.

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 6 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Great, great visuals and for us women who fear when they're young whether they will grow some! Very cute and fun!

    • thebluestar profile image

      Annette Donaldson 6 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Ohh very witty, I guess there is hope for me then. Being last behind the door when breasts where handed out, I always took comfort in knowing I wouldn't have spaniels ears at 50 lol

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Cheaptrick, I'm laughing ...That was funny...thanks for enjoying this one!

      Cheryl, I guess I just wanted to have some fun on such a "touchy" subject.

      Epigramman, that's what I was trying for "a little wit" on something we women take so seriously. Thanks for enjoying!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ..well well well certainly got my attention on this one - and not only is it a good day to be a man - but it's a good day to enjoy your clever and witty writing - then again any day is a good day for something like this - enjoying your poetry, that is ....... lol lol

    • profile image

      Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 6 years ago

      Very sweet poem & your mother too.

      Mother Lightning


    • cheaptrick profile image

      cheaptrick 6 years ago from the bridge of sighs

      I know a woman who has Huge boobies.She goes bra-less and lets them hang.After many years one booby said to the other

      "If we keep hanging around like this...People are gonna think we're NUTS"! :)great poem!Thanks!


    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks Dianeaugust, to women, it is such a BIG (pardon the pun) deal, especially for those of us, that were so late in growing...Glad you enjoyed!

      WilStarr, you certainly can! And a BIG Thank you!!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona


      (Can I say that?)

    • dianeaugust profile image

      dianeaugust 6 years ago from Tennessee

      b.Malin--I love this look at your breast through time!!! It's amazing what wonderful things come with AGE!! Great poem!! da