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ON THE ROAD b. Malin

Updated on August 22, 2011
Photo by Stephan
Photo by Stephan


Last weekend, on Friday night, Lover Man and I were on the road again, going over the George Washington bridge, heading towards Connecticut. We had been invited to a Surprise Party for my dear friend of at least 40 years. Her two Beautiful daughters and her gentlemen friend were giving her a "Luncheon Party" on Saturday.

So...once again, we were relying on "Maggie" our miserable "GBS" to get us to the Hotel. Big Mistake. It should have been an easy trip...Right....NO, it was NOT! She got UGLY, She got us LOST...We both began YELLING at one another out of Frustration. Maggie is meanwhile yelling "RECALCULATING, RECALCULATING!". I politely asked Lover Man where were the printed directions that were e-mailed to us. He replied back, he didn't think we needed them because we had "Maggie" to guide us there...BIG MISTAKE, I began to yell a few unladylike Thoughts and he in return yelled back some ungentlemenlike Thoughts. We were Tired and it showed. Finally I said, Lets just call the Hotel, and I did, and a nice gentleman guided us right to their front door. We were to find out that our "Maggie" did give us the wrong turn, but yet when Lover Man checked it later, the correct turn was actually in her system...She is so Scary! However, we do need to update the map in her, which is '09. I have Never Hated a GPS more.

We get a good nights sleep and wake up refreshed and both say in Unison, "I'm sorry" and we mean it, because we both know we don't travel well when we have to be somewhere. When it's just us going, no pressure, no Time Frame, we usually do quite well...I can even Tolerate "Maggie"...who am I kidding, she and I will never LIKE one ANOTHER. We shower, get dressed, pack up, load the car, turn on "Maggie" and now we are off to the Restaurant, which is only suppose to be 10 minutes from the Hotel and the manager has printed out directions how to get there...what could go wrong? It's Connecticut, roads suddenly turn into Country Roads and Yes, we are lost...and "Maggie" is going Nuts, so we turn her off, especially after I threaten to throw her out the Window! We see a house and a man near his pickup truck and I roll down the window and ask him if he knows where this Restaurant is...And he Does, I almost jump out of the car to kiss him. And then he says those words that we are longing to hear, "Follow Me, I'm headed in that direction". OMG, he's an Angel sent from up above. I swear I can hear the music playing, as we both smile happily at one another. We are going to be on time to yell "Surprise" to a wonderful friend.

She arrives and we all Yell "Surprise" and then wait our turn to Hug and Kiss. She is thrilled to see us and can't believe we drove all that distance...And we say, "it was Nothing", and we mean it as the three of us embrace and hug...and she has tears of gratitude as she says, "You've made me feel so special, I'm so glad you came". And we look at one another and are so glad we came too! And once again we are in Love with Life and Each Other.


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    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hi Sharyn so glad I could make you Laugh and Enjoy...and we (Lover Man & ! ) are getting better and better on doing these Road Trips.

      Hi Nighthag, thanks so much for Enjoying and finding my Hub so Uplifting. We are trying and learning, my Man and I!

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 6 years ago from Australia

      What a wonderful uplifting read

      Thank you so much for sharing it with us all :)

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hey B,

      This was adorable and funny. Of course, I knew everything would be great in the end. Thank you for the laughs!


    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hey Peg, thanks. Man NEVER ask for directions and if they goes in one ear and out the other...I'm just saying, so glad you enjoyed!

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      This made me laugh! Technology, harumph. Whatever happened to folding maps? When all else fails, ask for directions. Hahaha. Great story and well told.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      I too Love Willie Nelson, Sally...and Thanks for that Great Comment...don't let Willie see it! So very glad you Enjoyed!

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      What a great friend you are! When I saw the title, I thought this hub might be about Willie Nelson, as he sings a song by the same title. He is greatm, but your story is even better!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Oh Alicia, don't let all of us turn you off to owning one...Misery LOVES Company. So glad you got a laugh out of my Hub girlfriend.

      Movie Master "Maggie" is in the Process of getting an UPDATE...She'll be good as NEW...Mmmm. So Glad you got a good Laugh.

      Hey Michael, Thank You for the Compliment. It is so appreciated!

    • michael ely profile image

      michael ely 6 years ago from Scotland

      Really good hub b.Malin.


    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Just so funny, loved it!

      I reckon 'Maggie's days are up! you can't beat a good old paper map!

      Glad you got there in the finish and had a good time:-)

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I don't think that I ever want a GPS after reading about your experiences and the experiences of some of the people commenting on your hub! Google Maps will have to do. Thanks for another entertaining and funny article, b. Malin.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Binaya, Thanks for such a nice Compliment...And now I'm feeling Good too!

      Cloverleaf, sometimes I hate Technology...however have you ever met a man who will ask for directions and remember them...I Haven't! Looking back it was pretty, pretty, funny!

      A.A. Loved your Comments as always you, Witty, Witty, Man!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hey Dusty, thanks for Laughing along with my Hub. Our "Maggie" GPS has now gone through an update...So she'd better behave! Thanks for your Vote.

      Hi Erin, yes "Maggie" is now updated...But maybe I too should have a "Daniel" maybe he'd not like Lover Man...Or Maybe he would! Thanks for Enjoying!

      Hey Bella, Yes, "Maggie" has been Threatened by I think NOW she knows her place...or ELSE! So glad you stopped by.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks Rosemary for your comments...Yes, we always makeup...and we always say we won't get into trouble next time...but...So glad you Loved my tale.

      Thanks Cheryl as always for your Charming Comments.LOL, Old Friend.

      Breakfastpops, Maggie, "HATES" me...I just know it...Say Hello to her twin for me. So glade you saw the Humor to this Hub.

    • Cloverleaf profile image

      Cloverleaf 6 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

      b.Malin, this is pretty funny, I know another similar "Maggie" that gets pretty upset over wrong turns haha!! How come technology is so cranky?!

      Glad your day turned out great though.


    • profile image

      Binaya.Ghimire 6 years ago

      Amusing and funny. after reading you story I feel so good.

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      Your stories are always so cute and gracious and comical. I love reading your cute lil stories. I am happy you three where able to spend a very nice time :)


    • Erin LeFey profile image

      Erin LeFey 6 years ago from Maryland

      What a cute story! I'm glad you had a wonderful time. I have "Daniel" and we get along famously - I guess it all depends on how well they have the earth mapped and how much the landscape changes. I know that construction and new housing makes them crazy and they need to have their updates or they are constantly recalculating when they should just chill out. Great read B. and glad you got home safely!

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

      B.Malin, you made me laugh. It's been years since I had a trip like that, the dogs don't care if were lost, they just like the longer drive. I've been looking at a gps after using a "Loran" system of days of yore, I was sad when the towers shut down and ceased broad casting signals even the military used. It was bulky but could put me within 10 feet of a spot in it's memory in the middle of the desert, like a water tank or spring. I'm wondering if I'll get the same service from a gps.

      voted up all the way thanks for the laugh, dust

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 6 years ago from Texas

      Yes, the road trip. More like the "last" trip for many relationships. I'm glad to hear that you and Loverman made up. You can't go off and drive your muse away!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      I must have Maggie's twin in my car. When she says "recaclulating" it sounds like she is choking on the words. Up and funny!!!

    • profile image

      Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 6 years ago

      A very sweet vignette, thank U* for sharing!!! Many more travels, & may they all be interesting & heartfelt. LOL to U*2, too!

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 6 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      I loved this story. Thank goodness we don't have a GPS, and thanks to Google maps we always plan our route before we leeave home. Nothing like good old fashione DIY.

      So pleased it had a happy ending and you made up.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Gail, I loved your story on Miss Hissy Fit, shame, she couldn't have met "Maggie"...But just think, whoever stole her is probably getting her wrath as well...Justice will prevail!

      Yes, Horseback it is so Typical of Us Married...and we get so wrapped up in Directions and you "guys", never are wrong...RIGHT!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      I Loved your Thoughts and Comments Sunnie...and as of today, Lover Man called to get "Maggie" a new updated Chip...With Me, her days are NUMBERED! So glad I made you laugh!

      Thanks Will for Loving it...and saying so! And a Big Thanks for your Vote!

      Will that's what "Maggie" had us doing TWICE...such a sense of Humor on her...NOT!

      That's a pretty Funny Story, Neil...I swear they are always listening in on our Conversations, so they can screw us up.

      Those GPS's are a Laugh-a-Minute...and Thanks for your Funny related story.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 6 years ago

      Bmalin. Awesome and so typical of us married couples No?.....:-}

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 6 years ago from South Carolina

      Got a lot of good laughs from this story as your writing was so descriptive. We nicknamed our GPS "Miss Hissy Fit," shortly after we got her cause she kept saying "recalculating, recalculating" whenever we would intentionally ignore her because we wanted to go another route and didn't trust the way she wanted to go. Unfortunately, Miss Hissy Fit got kidnapped (stolen) a few weeks ago. Hubby wants to replace her, but I'm still holding out on getting a replacement. I like driving in peace.

      On the other hand, lord knows we get lost on our own and we're just like you and lover man when that happens during a tight time schedule.

      So glad you made it on time to surprise your dear friend.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      On a recent trip, my GPS had me turning left on a 'no left turn' street.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

      Hi, ha ha this is so funny! those darned GPS! over here, there was a story in the newspaper about the stupid thing directing people across a bridge in Devon, the trouble was that it was the wrong way! Oh, and the bridge was flooded! the locals, in fits of laughter, stood by the bridge nearly all day to get the people out and give them cups of tea! lol

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Loved it! Voted everything.

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 6 years ago

      hahahaha this hub was so funny...our little GPS is forever getting us lost..needs updating too..I am glad you and lover man was able to make up and finally get to your destination..Never let the likes of a outdated GPS stand in the way of true

      Thanks for a smile today,