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Over-Dose

Updated on January 14, 2020

A mastered art, doesn't really hurt feels like going on a trip really.
I don't do it to punish anybody but sometimes I feel like I need a kickback to reality ( my reality).
... I do it not for pain, but for a little bit of peace and quiet.
... To talk to people I miss and people I lost. People who don't seem to notice me to.
.
Overdose.
.
Its my way of fleeing from my terrible mistakes..
It's less painful than having to slit my wrists every now and then.
.. Nobody ever notices though, I just take about enough to appear normal...
..... Be the me that's silent and stupid to ever speak up or even talk...
..
Overdose..
...
..... I like to be quiet at times, for I'd rather not speak at times..
. " Should he die, that's on you. If hell's my portion, trust me I'd still have a way to pin it on you "... That's something I'd say, but I'd rather not say because it'd break hearts and make me seem like am picking the wrong side of blood....
...
Overdose.
... Helps me forget my nightmares. Helps me sleep at times.
..... Makes me look at people straight in the eye and smile and maybe even say something funny while all I wanna do is punch the hell outta them...
.. makes me forget about love ( it's probably scripted I guess) my script writer probably died of an overdose :just maybe.
...
.. Overdose.....
Controlled, have mastered the art to just take just about enough.
... Enough to bring me back, to the place where my silence is what holding pieces and pieces together..
To the place where i have so many sides that keep smile people happy..
..... ....
....

© 2020 Amani Utembu

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    • Amani Utembu profile imageAUTHOR

      Amani Utembu 

      2 months ago from Nairobi -Kenya

      Thanks Brenda.. I hope it does get to someone who can help people who find it hard to express themselves

    • Brenda Arledge profile image

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      2 months ago from Washington Court House

      Amani,

      It is so sad to think someone feels this way.

      Your poem touches on the very core of a person's thoughts. Why and what they are thinking the whole time.

      It must feel so painful inside one's heart to want to hurt himself so he can get back to reality.

      To be able to lie straight to someone's face.

      It's really not the route one should take.

      Life is beautiful...its worth living. There is no reason to try to escape.

      People don't expect one to act a certain way...he is allowed to be himself...to cry if he wants too.

      Hopefully this poem will touch someone who can help others.

      Nice write.

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