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Ode to Professor Claymore | By J-Bone

Updated on October 18, 2011

This is a ditty about one of the Infantryman's best friends and worst nightmare. It just depends on which side your standing on when the lessons begin. I dedicate it to every soldier that has occupied a foxhole with a fixed bayonet while they wait.....


Professor Claymore

Yes class will be in session soon

Here on the hill with the light of no moon

Yes time to prepare, to bloody prepare,

The skulls full of mush will soon be here

I set up the dais

With cool readiness it goes

To count how many times

Would take all fingers and toes;

 Here I place the professor,

Down the crest of the hill;

Well front of the wire

His classroom is prepped

Fifty meters wide at the back;

Another fifty deep

A fan shaped placement

They won’t need seats.

Prof he does smile

if you look from the front and above

till his class it is ready

Then looks to me like a frown.

Class room assistants

Bouncing Betty and Toe-popper

Ensure the class enters through

Wide Open doors

His Adjunct professor

My good friend Trip Flare

Signals to Professor Claymore 

They are funneling in.

And just as his students

The auditorium does fill

He begins with the Lessons

No time to stand still!

The lessons they are of Double Ought Buck

Delivered with C 4, the lessons are blunt

They sear through your brain

Turn your body to mush,


800 lessons of death he spreads

He speaks only once

But his lessons they learn

Yes they learn all at once.

They receive them with pain.

Those in the Front rows

Pass the lessons to the back…

You can fit what’s left of them

In a single Rucksack.

Row three and row four

Learned their lessons too,

Five or six pieces per body bag

And sometimes their shoes.

The rows farther behind

take the lessons away

By the time they receive them

The size of a quarter.

The lessons they slice and they dice,

    many pieces away;

A lifetime reminder of Class that day.

Memories may fade a little

    But they’ll n’er go away.

Throughout today’s class

 With M2 pointer the Prof I assist

Delivering 50 cal reminders

to those who persist.

One or two to the right

Three or four to the Left

“Take another step here and

The lesson is death!”

The Professor his First name is M eighteen,

middle initial Aone.

His last it is Claymore,

Speaks once and he’s done.

But fear not my friends

Though I miss him a lot

There are seven more of his friends

Found in every box!



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    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      ivori - Thanks For stopping by, it does do that!

    • ivori profile image

      Barbara Eisenberg 

      9 years ago from Titusville

      One of the videos kind of gives a whole new persona to the Pillsbury Dough Boy! Great hub!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      50 cal - thought these lessons would ring a bell. Schools out for us! Hooooah!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      TOM - so true. If you are in class you have no choice but to learn! Hooah!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Pam - A multi faceted, multi talented, 220 lbs of death, destruction, and love, a paid professional in all respects. Thanks for stopping by!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      BPOP - Thanks for stopping by and like the prefessor, suprise is the key! Thanks!

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 

      9 years ago from Arizona

      Excellent, one of many of my favorite toys emblazoned in poetry. Charlie don't care, but after meeting the professor how could he? as he lay down in the sun perforated so well he could not even bloat.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 

      9 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      The professor teaches a once in a LIFETIME message.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      9 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Hmrjmr, Excellent poem. Who would have thought you would have written a poem about the deadly claymore after that last sensual poem, Cheetah Moon. You are a man full of surprises.

    • breakfastpop profile image


      9 years ago

      Powerful, powerful, awesome poem, Hmrjmr. You have so many surprises up your sleeve!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      AIM - Thanks! Should give your son a chuckle! Hooah!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      CM- Class is in session! Thanks my friend!

    • Army Infantry Mom profile image

      Army Infantry Mom 

      9 years ago

      Im imprssed and takin by surprise too !!!! Enjoyed this one,..very much !!! HOOAH !!!

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      9 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      I got a real bang outta this one, Hmrjmr!!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Jeff _ yeah a lot like war. Hooah! Thanks for stopping by!

    • Jeffrey Neal profile image

      Jeffrey Neal 

      9 years ago from Tennessee

      I'm with luv.poem...Wow!

      This is very interesting and moving and almost sick a little. I like it and the imagery is vivid. Great hub!

    • Hmrjmr1 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Georgia, USA

      Lov.poem Thank you so much for your high praise. So Glad you enjoyed it.

    • profile image


      9 years ago


      It's been awhile since I've read something that has impressed me this much or stirred so many thoughts.


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