ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Poems & Poetry

Ode to the Toilet

Updated on September 16, 2014
AudreyHowitt profile image

Audrey is a poet, classical singer and voice teacher, recovering attorney and licensed psychotherapist.

Chris 73
Chris 73 | Source



it was told by those in the know,

(by an editor of course)

that she would like to see poetry

unlike the rest.


She had yawned over moonlight,

slept with the stars,

felt numbed over love,

kissed cheeked children's verse goodbye,

and was ready,

so very ready

for something new.


To her I speak,

of such matters that reek

of poetry

that is, well,

unexpected.


As I sit on my throne,

such the princess at home,

I ponder

that in my humble abode,

I find I can unload

all the worries, frustrations and hassles of life,

and find such comfort

in the absence of strife.


Not crimson, nor star like

nor beauteous thus,

it sits all alone,

until

with eyes askance,

we all take our place

and dutifully,

groan.



copyright/all rights reserved Audrey Howitt 2014




Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello again, Audrey,

      I am not going to make a pest of myself. I promise.

      One more comment: Great job and wonderful writing.

      One more question: What is it you do that gives you so many people who comment?

      Sincerely,

      Kenneth

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 months ago from Texas

      When I read this to Hubby

      he said that is great

      I can really relate

      And I feel even better after the flush

      *

      *

      I love this, you are genius

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 4 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Wow!

      Great job. Very decisive.

      Keep up the great poetry as much as you want!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 5 months ago from California

      Thank you Springboard!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 6 months ago from California

      Hi Nell! Thank you!

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 8 months ago from Wisconsin

      This is a wonderful way to provide an explanation to the wife about why I take so long in the can. It's the most free, I think, I can be. :) Nicely done.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 8 months ago from California

      Thank you Blondey!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 8 months ago from California

      Thank you for reading it vespawoolf!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 8 months ago from California

      Thank you Patricia!

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 9 months ago from sunny Florida

      Spot on....love this....you just have a knack!!!! Angels are on the way once again to you

      Shared ps

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 10 months ago from England

      LOL! I love it! Ode to a toilet! well who would have thought?

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 11 months ago from California

      Smiles to you Kim!!! Thank you!

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 11 months ago from North Carolina

      Audrey,

      So needed this laugh.

      Thank You! Big Smiles!

      Kim

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 11 months ago from California

      Thank you Daisy!

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 11 months ago from Peru, South America

      Ha! This is hilarious. Thank you for starting my day with a laugh. : )

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thank you Audrey~

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      This was a fun one to write! Thank you Shanmarie!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thank you Anna Haven!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thank you Dream on!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thinking about you today Mary!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thank you Lee!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thank you Thelma!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 12 months ago from California

      Thank you Lee!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 17 months ago from California

      Thank you PeggyW! This was a fun write!

      Rebeeccamealey! You crack me up! Thank you!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 19 months ago from California

      Thank you Linda!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 23 months ago from California

      Martin you crack me up! This was a fun write though!

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 2 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Ha Ha! Audrey, you are so talented!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Hi Peachpurple! Thank you!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      The toilet is an important fixture in the household and it deserves a shout-out too. Well done! :)

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 2 years ago from Germany

      LOL! What a beautiful funny ode to the toilet. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks. Shared.

    • profile image

      Lee Cloak 2 years ago

      A fantastic piece about one of my favourite places, great to read, thanks!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      When my children were small, I remember dreaming of the day when I could sit on the throne all alone!

      I enjoyed reading your ode to the toilet!

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 2 years ago from Scotland

      Funny stuff. You slide between poems of languishing love and then riotous laughter effortlessly.

    • Dip Mtra profile image

      Dip Mtra 2 years ago from World Citizen

      Great stuff Audrey! This is a tribute to the best moment in the day. Voted up, and henceforth a committed fan of your futures.

    • blondey profile image

      Rosemary Amrhein 2 years ago from Boston, MA

      Ha ha ha! very funny. I love silly poems and this one rhymes and has clever wording. nice sharing!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 2 years ago from San Francisco

      very very good

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 2 years ago from Texas

      LOL! Who can pass up a title like that when it comes through the news feed? Thanks so much for the laugh!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Leave it to you to find poetry even for the "throne." Love it and laughed uncontrollably.

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 2 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Audrey,

      Happy Birthday!!!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 2 years ago

      I laughed and chuckled. We all know we go. Just when we don't exactly know. Have a great night.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

      This definitely had me laughing Audrey! I think that we can all relate to being princesses or princes on that particular throne. Ha!

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      Funny poem abt the toilet

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Hey Audrey! Thank you! (me too!)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Debby!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      I do some of my best work while sitting on the throne. :) Thanks Audrey - your talents are endless.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you for reading this one wordswithlove!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      I am glad that it did wordswithlove!

    • wordswithlove profile image

      Neetu M 2 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

      Sure made me smile, Audrey. :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Well thank you Timetraveller2!!

    • TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

      TIMETRAVELER2 2 years ago

      This was so clever...and so true! I'm off to do some "groaning" of my own! You've inspired me!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Aww thank you Daniella!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      And thank you for reading this one Jeannieinabottle!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Catherine! It was a fun write!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Carrie Lee!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      You cracked me up Suzettenaples! Thank you!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Marcoujor!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Mary! It was a fun write!

    • Daniella Lopez profile image

      Danielle Lopez Newcomb 2 years ago from Arkansas

      Haha! I love it! Quite the creative idea for a poem. ;)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you so much Harishprasad! You are very kind!

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Who can resist anything entitled Ode to the Toilet? Thanks for sharing this awesome poem.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Charming. Definitely an unexpected topic proving you can find poetry anywhere.

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Kept private 2 years ago from Northeast United States

      Beautiful! :). You have a soft smooth flow with the words. Brilliantly composed. Thank you for sharing :)

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 2 years ago from Taos, NM

      LOL! Great poem. Yes the commode is the place to be and to write poetry. You're ode to the commode is wonderful and such a fitting throne for a princess!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Suzanne!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Ryem!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Rasma!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you takkhisa!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you for reading this one Au fait!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Teaches!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Rajan! I was in a mood I think!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you fpherj48!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you LadyFiddler!

    • Ryem profile image

      Ryem 2 years ago from Maryland

      I got a great laugh from this poem! Thanks for sharing. :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you MsDora!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you for reading this Perspycacious--I hope you weren't too disappointed--I don't do rhyme much--and certainly not well

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      You crack me up Vellur!! Thank you!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I am flush with............ah, never mind, you are adorable, Audrey!

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 2 years ago from India

      What a Midas Touch and with such an unbelievable wonderful craft ! You are a poet who makes dust shine like Gold ! To everybody, something is ordinary till s/ he doesn't read your words about it. Enjoyed reading this remarkable poem and voted up.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      Certainly poetry unlike the rest but still we see it is the best!

      Whatever you put your hand to comes out great! What fun to read and crafted to perfection.

      Voted up, funny, awesome, interesting and shared.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      So funny Nadine! Silly--I wrote it at the computer!! Thank you for reading it!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Jo! It was a fun write!!

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Audrey, only you could have written an ode to the toilet, and do it with such panache. Funny and classy.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Ruby!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Bobbi!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you for reading this one Suzanne!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Perspycacious!!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Chitrangada!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you manatita!! I will have to stop by and give it a read!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you DDE!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      John--sometimes I just get in a mood! Thank you!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Crack me up DealForALiving!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Awww--thank you btrbell!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Aw MizBejabbers! Thank you!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Aww Frank! Thanks!!

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      I think this is the best toilet poem I've ever read! Voted beautiful.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image
      Author

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Thank you Jamie! Yes you did! I just read yours and guffawed!

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

      Very very funny Audrey. I have found myself writing on similar topics as of late. Thank you for your poetry and I hope you are well. Jamie

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      I applaud you Audrey. You and only you have the talent to even make an ode to the toilet wonderful. Super.

    • takkhisa profile image

      Takkhis 2 years ago

      Haha...it is funny :)

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 2 years ago from North Texas

      A fine tribute to the commode! Love it!