Old Words...New Words...No Words
This is difficult. I am trying to write poetry again, for more reasons that I can begin to say. But my friend Lisa asked me why I stopped writing poetry, stopped blogging and doing my photo essays. I had to say that I didn't know, that I had no good answer. So here I am....trying to write again. And this poem was pulled out my depths of despair about not writing, and needing to write and wanting to write and get out with people and speak my words...not just leave them to be read. And it's a hard path. A harsh path. But it is one I'm taking. My first new poem in far too long:
No New Words……copyright 03-17-17
Cyndy Shubert-Jett
No new words
nope
not a one
not
a
damn
one.
And the old words?
The ones
that used to be
like a
waterfall
a
word-fall
flowing
flowing endlessly
in and around
and
through
every fiber
of
my
being?
Those words
that were
begging me
to scoop
them up
like so much
unclaimed
treasure?
Nope
no
new
words
not one
not
a
damn
one.
And yet….
I know these words
are still
here
are still
within my reach
however much
my mind shies away
from reaching out
to find them
because
to reach the old words
to reclaim them
as my very own
once again
I will be forced
to
reach past the
scars and callouses
that come
from life’s
day to day to day to day
simple
existence.
I am
fearful,
so very
fearful
at this point of life
fearful
of taking
that scalpel
in hand
and cutting
through
the scars that I have
allowed, no,
encouraged to build up,
that
doing this
will be more
than I can bear
that
recognizing the
return
of the dark
within the light
the ecstatic joy
that will crash
defiantly against
the rocky shores
of depression
of the fear of failing
of the fear of
the over-whelming
dichotomy of imbalance
will be more
than I can bear
and yet
and yet
I crave
these words
the old words
the new words
the expression of
who I am
deep within
my own selfness.
I do not yet
know
if I will be able
to reach out
to these words
the old words
the new words.
I know, though,
that if I do not
I fear
I will
drown
in
my
own
silences.