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On Letting Go

Updated on May 31, 2014

CLXXIX.

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"By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning."

-- Lao Tzu

We see that Nature and Life themselves demonstrate the necessity for letting go, in order that all living things might flourish and replenish themselves.


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The green leaves which budded in Spring, flourished in Summer, must allow the limited sunlight and early Autumn frost to diminsh chlorophyll and allow non-productive pigments to emerge before they will let go of their branches, permitting their tree to rest for the Winter, and to prepare for a new Spring and life cycle when it is time. It simply knows when it is time.


The gorgeous fruit blossoms must let go of their petals and allow their inner promise of fruit to grow to ripeness, to fulfill its mission.

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“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”

Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons

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The caterpillar must let go of its safe, well-camoflaged outer skin to allow the colorful maturing butterfly to emerge, - fragile and vulnerable as it takes the sky to fulfil its purpose.

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

When an unborn fetus has reached a viable point in its growth, it must let go of the protection and succor of its mother’s body in order to be born as a whole, separate living human being who will begin its lengthy journey toward full independence as a contributing member of the world, letting go of each outgrown stage as it progresses. Then, with that momentous time for it to begin its flight, its parents must let go, in a major sense, to allow it to go forth as an adult to establish identity and to fulfill destiny.

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“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”

Steve Maraboli

Even relationships may outgrow their confines; when they do, must let go.

The timing and cycling of all living things provide their physical source, activate their own resources and permit their full raison d'être to progress.

Letting go allows participants to grow, fulfil their purposes as they continue toward their destinies. No one says,' it’s time to let go'; yet when one has become overly dependent or too restricted and is clearly aware of the need to move on, one knows it is time to let go, - and one must, so as to grow and to remain viable.


“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

Disney's Frozen "Let It Go" - performed by Idina Menzel


I open up my palm,

Releasing all that's stale;

Letting go.

I let you go, refreshed,

Let you fly

As you are meant to do.


And in that freeing act

I, too, am freed,

Though frail,

Released

To try, to fly, to be,

To go, to do

All I am meant for, too.



______© Nellieanna H. Hay

5-30-14


Is freedom

So "far out"

or

Is it -

So far, -

In?


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Unless otherwise attributed, all design, graphics and written material herein are original and copyrighted by Nellieanna H. Hay.


ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This material is protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Nellieanna H. Hay.

© 2014 Nellieanna Hay

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    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 months ago from TEXAS

      I understand,Michael. I have ample experience with the behavior of others, from one end of the spectrum to another and have found that it does and will run the gamut. So it's been since Adam and Eve and the beginning of the family of humans

      tt should not be assumed that people not calling down others' objectionable behavior is because of accepting it as the norm, though it may be the new norm.

      But others' reasons for how they react are simply their own and are very complicated and convoluted, as are the reasons the objectionable behavior is happening. They may not even be deliberate or purposeful in it. And other people not reacting to that behavior may be from wisdom of knowing how it works or doesn't work to react.

      It's futile to think that criticizing or making an issue of it will make a change in the other persons. What that can do is spoil one's own best efforts and behavior and mess up one's own peace of mind, for no good results.

      If any 'good' can be done for the others, setting them a good example and giving them the better treatment and kindness is both better for oneself and the others, and boosts and improves the general mood of the community, rather than adding to the discord.

      One can never rely on others to improve one's own mood and to make one's own experience to go smoothly,which must be one's own full responsibility if it is to work out well for oneself and for those around one in one's most beloved inner circle.

      Taking care of one's own positivity does have a positive effect, and one can be very pleased and uplifted about that. Contributing to the positivity of others can improve one's own happiness while it contributes to the others'.

      But to put one's own happiness, fate, ability to respond (responsibility) in the control of others is just bound to disappoint all concerned and ruin one's own ongoing destiny, doing little if anything for the otters.

      I hear you about your elderly neighbor. Bless you for cheering her. Hugs

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      I come from work and try to understand why young adults don't take pride in their work. Don't have no sense of responsibility or respect for management or other coworkers. Every time I think they could make my night go so smooth. Instead they continue to show an I don't give a damn attitude and nobody says nothing. it's accepted as the norm. To me can you lower the bar any lower. Where do these young adults go from here. What happens when they have their own families ? I am looking down the road into the future five or ten years. Is this generation that selfish. I cringe as I roll over and go back to sleep. I can only tell you what I see and I watch twenty five employees have the same philosophy. My stomach does flip flops just thinking about it, Hope you are doing well.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      I spend most of my free time visiting friends who were once neighbors growing up. One person who turned ninety and she is dealing with her own health issues. She has Parkinson's and has recently moved to a nursing home. Life can deal us a tough hand and the best we can do is try to make it work. All my problems seem to her issues. Then I go off to work. Have a good morning.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 months ago from TEXAS

      Oh, how true, Michael. One has to trust the process of change which IS this valuable thing called LIFE and LIVING. If it were something static, it would cease to be LIFE. But somehow we tend to want to hold it in place, and to expect it to be predicable, which, IF we could do, would be literally like strangling it!

      Everyone's weather seems to be unusual lately and rather scary. The Universe, of which our little planet is such a minor player, is all about change and exists probably because of its constant changing.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      I found out letting go has a unique process. When you let go you make room for new experiences. In the beginning you feel nothing and I mean nothing is going to compare to what you have had and loved so much. I am still discovering so I don't know if anything will ever compare. I am willing to keep an open mind and move on. Not by choice by circumstances beyond my control. One day at a time. Thank you for reading and sharing so much. I can't tell if it is still raining. Because the ground has been wet for days from all the previous rain. (lol)

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 months ago from TEXAS

      Thank you!

      I'll reply soon.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 months ago from TEXAS

      Thank you!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      I am so happy to see you. In life so many different things happen in peoples lives every day. Please take care and seeing you get better is all I want. My wife and I send big hugs. The hubs you have already written give me more than enough thoughts to think about. Even though as you have noticed this is my favorite. I apply your tips and suggestions to my own life and it is not easy for me to adjust. I know it is for the better and the more I explore my thoughts I get to see more underlying thoughts rise to the top. These thoughts have been buried and now are just starting to scratch the surface. It might be a long and slow road but it will be well worth it in the end. Have a peaceful sleep. They always work best. Rest, rest, rest.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      2 months ago from Texas

      Get well and I'll be praying for you.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 months ago from TEXAS

      To any of my dear HP friends whose comments I've not replied to: It's August 16, 2018 and I am and have been under the weather, with limits to my activities. I'll be replying, perhaps gradually, though! Love and hugs!

    • profile image

      To all who have posted comments 

      2 months ago

      To all to whom I've missed replying to your comments: - it's August 16, 2018, Right now, I'm having some limiting difficulty, health-wise, but hoping it will run its course and be dispelled. I'll attempt to catch up as I can. I truly appreciate all comments and responses!!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      The weather has been rainy and hot here. I hope your staying cool. The summer is a good time as any to think and appreciate how far we have come. When I am inside the house looking outside at the beautiful flowers and trees and watching the birds and the squirrels. Once again when the weather clears it brings out the sunshine. A new day and new dreams. Washing away the old gives a chance to start new. Moving in a direction that is positive and gives us a sense of purpose. Have a lovely morning.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      2 months ago from Texas

      This is coming up in my news feed so I reread the hub. Beautifully expressed sentiments. Your poetry always made me stop and think. Still does.

      "The timing and cycling of all living things provide their physical source, activate their own resources and permit their full raison d'être to progress."

      Sometimes it seems like "timing" is a double-edged sword. It can lead to things quite painful, but then that lain also leads to broth and other things that are beautiful by contrast and beautiful as a result. I think one never fully let's go of the things that help define them. It becomes a choice of how those things define, hopefully for the better in the long run.

      I hope that you are well.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      Little things make up the world of good things and wonderful people. There is only so much time in a day. We all go in each direction we feel is important at that time. If we are blessed we cross paths with other people that help, care, love and forgive. Together we share a life like no other. Thank you for all you do and have done many times in the past without ever thinking. My thoughts of kindness go out to you and your family. Have a beautiful day.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      Today is a tough day. My father passed away 27 years ago today. I refocus on all the things I loved and enjoyed with him. Even some of our disagreements make me laugh. Through that love life moves forward. Hope you are doing well. Take care and have a good afternoon.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      Things and events in our lives maybe seem random but I think there is a hidden order. So everything happens for a reason and one day we might just find out how beautifully connected we all are. Until that day we get to enjoy every encounter as special and unique in some odd way. So every time we meet and every thought we think is just a wonderful way for us to connect to everyone and everything in the world. Hope when you read this you are well and just busy doing so many things you love. My mothers house went back on the market and the previous owner gutted everything I knew and loved. So the insides are right down to the studs. He decided to sell it for double what he paid 225,000 because the market is hot. I don't know if I will ever be happy with the outcome. I do know life moves forward. Like you told me many years ago if you don't change with life you are not living and that is not a good way to live. Thank you so much for your help. Have an amazing night.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      Your hub was published four years ago. I only read it for the first time three years ago. It is funny and odd how we can live our life in so many different ways and yet never really understand what we are doing and why. We wake up which seems to the common person another day very little different than the one before. Unless we have a trained eye to look deeper into each moment and see what really is going on above the surface and under it. Even though our activities may seem the same our emotions and knowledge in that moment is always different. So in the end we are always learning and growing. Our experiences are so vast and make our life what it is and later could be. Even though the past creeps back into our lives and can haunt us or it can guide us to a new beginning. We have to be able to take the reigns and ride with complete confidence and strength. Making today and every day a beautiful one. There will be times that are less than perfect and it is up to us to find a way to adjust to each circumstance. We can either be swayed by life and be taken down like a bowling ball hitting all the pins. One by one slowly falling. All at once in one quick sweep. One at a time with other pins left still standing. Every time the ball goes down the alley there is a good chance the pins will fall. At different times the ball might go down the gutter and miss all the pins. The excitement is in every roll of the ball. The near misses can be so exhilarating. The thrill of watching the pins fall. The joy of spending time with each other. Bending and lifting getting some wonderful exercise. Wanting to go bowling and never getting there. Finally arriving and reliving the old memories. Making new memories to share. Thank you so much for giving me ideas to process and see life in a different light. Have one sweet and awesome night.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 months ago

      The weather is hot and humid. Work is busy and I watch like I have done so many times before my coworkers around me. I realize they are not going to change and neither is management so why fight it. I redirect all my efforts to things that I enjoy. My wife, our home, our garden and doing things that make us ultimately happy. I tried for the longest time to try to make work smooth and efficiently. There is such a great big range of new help following the other workers that find everything in their power to do short cuts and lack of pride attitude. As long as my job is done to my high standards I have to let all my other feelings go. This is one of my hardest struggles because I always wanted coworkers to do a good job too. It is not the case. I am out numbered and the new way of thinking ( they know better) they were born experts. I found as I took a step back the company and the managers didn't seem to matter either. All the managers I trained under ( old school) are gone. I am one of a few guys that are left who took great pride in our job. The rest are retiring in the next couple of years. I still get frustrated but am learning how to channel it. I hope your day is cool and comfortable. Thank you so much for being such a positive influence in my life.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      It is pouring rain here. I find great pleasure in natures hand. I sit and type. I am comforted by each tip or tap. The sheer speed of each drop has me pondering so many amazing thoughts. I reflect on my life and on my faults. It is here I feel my strengths. I am open to so much beauty that also has left me open to so much pain. By accepting the beauty and redirecting the pain it gives me great pleasure to share each experience. I am drawn to this particular poem out of so many of your splendid works. For here I have can see myself through an hour glass. Watching the time pass. Not missing one moment and enjoying all the happiness that follows. Our life is so uncertain yet we pretend we are in control. Setting free our strongest feelings and Letting Go is a long and never ending process. I just want to thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge. Beauty and peace are so connected. I search to make them one. Have a splendid day.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      With the beauty of summer comes the unexpected. A bite that you didn't know you had. A rash under your arm hoping it's from the heat. I put a little bacitracin on both and have to wait and see if they go away.Summer traffic so we have to leave a little earlier. The really hot sunny days I have to manage to stay out of the hot sun. Work is hot and sticky. There is grass cutting and weeding. Watering the plants and the garden. So with the nice weather comes all sorts of new activities. It is easy to just do one day at a time. Things that I don't get to today will be there tomorrow. A good way to practice letting go of a strict routine and getting things done your way. (lol) Have a beautiful day.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      With the month of July moving right along the weather here got extremely hot. When I was young I never liked the heat. As I got older working in a hot kitchen in the summer I found ways to deal with it. It became acceptable and I learned to appreciate any day I went to work and the weather was cooler. I keep going back to this particular hub because letting go in one area of my life opens up more room in other directions I never seen before. It wouldn't of happened if I stayed the way I was going. An example of this is the last thing I wanted to do is work in the heat when I disliked it so much. It just happened to turn out that way. Then you take it on the chin and grin and bare it. I kept saying everyone else is hot too so we are all experiencing the same miss comfort. Even if they weren't feeling the same feeling it made it easier for me to face a hot and sticky situation. The old saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Thank you for sharing and caring. Have a sweet afternoon.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      Happy 4th Of July. When we think of how far we have come and where we are today. All the privileges and freedom. I am so thankful for all those who fought for our Independence. In the great big scale of things life is an endless list of blessings. From one day to the next it doesn't hurt to have a few reminders. This way we stay on track. I know when I am not feeling good the slightest little things bother me. So keeping a positive attitude even in the bleakest of times. It takes awhile to see through the fog. Then the light of day brings in astonishing new rays. Have a beautiful morning.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      When I go to work and see the way young adults do things today I wonder why it could not of stayed the same. I practice letting go of the old ways that worked so effectively and efficiently to the younger generation and management and it trickles down to each of the employees. There whole philosophy of me first generation. I fought it for many years and without no success. I see great value in the old methods but I am out numbered because of my age. I will have least ten years on everyone and thirty plus years on the new hires. They all think they know it all and don't use common sense. I continue to hold and maintain my own high standards but I can't and won't waste my time and effort on trying to make them see the light. Times are always changing and I will change my habits for the right reasons. It is a better way, easier, more productive way to do something not because you don't want to follow the rules. I see many employees crash and burn because they don't have a strong foundation that supports the tallest sky scrapers in the whole world. Even when they are failing miserably they have excuse after excuse. I just listen and learn. They are stubborn and have a weak work ethnic. I watch and see how things play themselves out. I have learned to let go my emotions and my frustration. Thank you so much for this brilliant hub.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      I found that the busier I get the less I think about letting go. When we have time to ponder and reflect on difficulties we might have experienced during our life we fall into a hole or step into a bear trap we never could of seen. Once in it the more we struggle the clearer it becomes that we are stuck. If I direct the same energy to positive tasks that can make new changes in my personality and lifestyle. From that point I can move in a positive manner and take steps in creating more of the future I desire. When I think about what other people should do instead of concentrating on making my life simpler and more productive I drift in a raft on the beach and it isn't long before I can't see the shore no more. Each day I start by counting my blessings and see all the good I have done gives me the power and strength to do more of the same. Our brain is such a wonderful tool that helps us in so many ways. If we are not careful it also has the ability to focus on anything we put our energy and time into. It does not decide or judge for us if the thoughts we think are good or bad. I go outside and spend time out in the garden and with plants in my yard I feel comfort and peace. These are just a few steps I have put from my mind to paper to see improvements or changes. I always take a step back and make sure I feel comfort in what I do in my actions and my thoughts. if not I see how I can adjust my actions to fit my personal well being. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I am always glad to see you are well. I don't take anything for granted. I do know following a healthy lifestyle gives us greater odds of being in tip top shape and less problems in our mind. Which means a better overall health. Have an amazing Monday.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      3 months ago from Houston, Texas

      Letting go is just a part of life whether we like it or not. There are gains and there are losses of many types as we make our journey through life. I liked your poetry and the quotes as well as illustrations in this post. Nicely done!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 months ago from TEXAS

      Reply to your comment, Michael, from 8 hours ago:

      Yes, it is Sunday here, too, though it’s become early afternoon and I’ve been up for hours, tending to things. Glad to hear that you and Camela are doing well, as am I.

      Well, sure, I am 86-going-on-87. There is no arguing with the records! haha. So I can’t deny being older, and often much older, than all those around me. But I’m also usually the healthiest one with the most optimistic outlook, so I try to be kind to them and resist flaunting it too much. hehe

      Of course, some things do change with the passage of time, but I continue to easily live alone, take care of myself and all that it involves. I’m almost never ill, though I did recently have (and have now recovered from) a siege of ‘Bell’s Palsy’. My face is back to normal and I’m the wiser for experiencing that setback. It's wise to know one is mortal.

      Yes, all of us do have areas of living which can become a bit tangled or out-of-sync, and then, they demand some action or re-arranging to be in-sync again. It is what is called ‘living Life'. We all have it to do and so we do it to the varying best of our abilities and our determinations to do. Some may attempt to side-step or to cheat it, but that inevitably just pushes it further and piles it up toward the end. So taking it one step at a time, each of us can take the challenges in stride and then we are privileged to return to life our own gifts, possibly to benefit others, which is said to be the greatest privilege we can have. In fact, it is our salvation, that we can do that, if we desire and choose to.

      I enjoyed your comparing life to riding a surf! I’ve never ridden one, but from your description, I get the viivid picture that it begins like a lark, or a game, but then its seriousness and technicalities become so much more. And one rises to the challenges of it to master each wave, and in so doing, masters the entire concept and becomes more expert. And of course, since each wave is a new and unique challenge, he must master each one anew, which is so like the many waves and surfs of LIFE and living.

      I do see that your plan is organized, is ongoing and is constantly learning and upgrading its sites! Yes. You have answers within yourself!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 months ago from TEXAS

      Michael, - reply to your comment of 36 hours ago:

      Oh, yes, Michael, as we age we do gain more insight into the beauty and the reality of life! We do realize that it was all at our fingertips all along, just waiting for our understanding to catch on and to catch up! Each day’s worth is within it and open to our grasp of it.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 months ago from TEXAS

      Hello, Michael. (Reply to your upbeat comment from 2 days ago:)

      Ah, yes. About the soothing rain! And, again, I’m pleased that you find good in reading some of my hubs, too!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 months ago from TEXAS

      Dear Michael, I've not been on HP very much lately, but am thrilled to see you have visited my hub several times in the meantime. I'll try to reply to your lovely comments in consecutive order.

      From 3 days ago-

      Yes, the sounds of rain are usually soothing and very pleasant. Even storms have a kind of soothing effect. Knowing that the features of this Earth which nourish it and quench its thirst are faithful is reassuring that we, too, are being nourished and given what we need. Right now and here, we could use some nourishing rain! But for most of the summer, I’ll be out twice a week, when we’re allowed to water the yard, watering mine. Saturday was one of the days. Wednesday is the other one. The grass looks all happy and grateful! I’m so blessed to have a fairly shady yard. Some of the neighbors yards just seem to shrivel up in the sun.

      I also keyed in to the memories of your childhood home it stirred when you were shutting the windows. Where I grew up, rain was even more scarce than it is where I now live. What I recall most about times it rained was the incredible lovely aroma when the rain touched the very dry ground, like a pure earthy ozone smell. I can literally recall that smell in my head.

      But your Mom and Dad’s house still haunts you, I think. It was their accomplishment which they filled with their love and living while they lived. So it’s natural that seeing it no longer exists has hurt you and visibly watching the lack of care for it is what hurts most. A new owner was unable to preserve it. But remember that your Mom preferred it to be sold if everyone couldn’t agree on what was to be done with it, so take comfort (as I’m sure you do) that it wasn’t allowed to become a huge issue of contention and division among your siblings, which would have distressed your parents.

      Sad to also lose your brother along the way, too. I now have lost all three of my siblings, and our parents, mostly quite awhile ago. But the losses still feels sad, especially those who died with some unresolved issues between us.

      So you have gracefully accepted all of it, but it is still like a thorn in your side at times. It’s sadder when the choices are totally removed, as often happens when things ‘slide by’ without being resolved.

      These are things we all go through in various ways in our ‘up-bringing’, which seems to turn out to be a do-it-ourselves project, mainly! Thank goodness for being able to write about our experiences and how we learn to deal with them! I feel sorry for those who lack the ability to do so. It is a way we have of sorting out the loose ends and rising to meet the stubborn ones! But it seems clear that this life for each of us is like a school room!

      I’m really happy that you are able to glean some help from what I write. I think of you often and mention you in my prayers, too. Your friendship is very valuable to me, Michael!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      It's an early Sunday morning. Our cat Charlotte woke me up. Five thirty is a little bit much don't you think. Well since I am it is easier to stay up than go right back to bed. My wife Carmela and I are doing just fine. I often think about you and your day. I know when my mother got older things started to change and I didn't totally understand in all the different ways. I did know I loved her and I wanted to tell her every chance I got. Well over the years we have become really good friends. I have learned a lot from your wisdom and guidance. I still struggle with day to day issues that everyone in the world has. We all have areas of our own lives that need attention or the way I like to think of it as room for improvement. I like to think instead of remolding a house the most if not the single most important purchase in ones life I am remolding my life. Starting with things that are a little out of sinc. Not in harmony like the way I feel they should be or the way they could be. So I pull all the stops and keep moving in a positive direction. It is one thing to think it. Then it is a whole nother thing to do it. Then I feel I go one step farther is I go on the journey and no matter how far or to what extent I tell and share my experiences good or bad. I ride the good like a little boy body surfing on the beach. Having fun each and every time. Then I try to fix the bad like an adult on a surf board riding the biggest wave he has ever seen. Relying on all his skill and expertise to master that wave. If I fall which I do many times. It is not failure but one step closer to during it better next time. Then I begin the process over and over again. There is no end in sight. Well most people say my thought is a rambling rolling thoughts that have no connection or purpose. I know they couldn't be more wrong. It is a very intricate and delicate sophisticated plan laid out in such great detail that only the most caring and loving people can understand. To protect myself from harm all my thoughts have a built in mechanicism with words I don't know how to spell. That are decoys for those who try to deceive me. They are little road blocks to slow the problem seekers way, way down. They get frustrated and leave. Where is the people with love in their hearts and souls can easily relate and follow along. As always the day is short and the nights are needed for us to get some well needed and necessary rest, When we are awake in the morning no matter how early it is up to us to pull those reins. Continue on at a steady pace uncovering the beauty of people in our lives every day of our lives. it never stops. What we have to do is learn how not to control it but use it to our advantage, Use what we can and hold what little we have left to pick up just where we left off. If it is a second ago or hours and even days. The feelings are stronger than ever, To seek out like individuals who are so passionate about life. You Nellieanna are a guiding light. There are many guiding lights, That shine so bright every day. All we have to do is open our hearts not our eyes which most people think we have to do. We have to follow our own dreams and let our imagination soar. Thank you for all your kind love and support. Talk or text soon.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      When we age with life we realize how beautiful life is in so many ways. Things that we thought nothing about now seem so important.Each experience leads to a new and another greater experience. When you put them all together you have a world of learning and understanding at your fingertips. The more we know the more we realize how little we really do know. People in our world make each day worth living. Have a happy weekend.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      it rained all day today. I stayed in and later ran for cover. How I love the sound of the soothing rain. It is just what the doctor ordered. I easily drift off to a catnap or I look all drowsy with heavy eyes. You would swear I was drugged. Have a happy night. I often come back many times to read important hubs in my life. To rekindle the fire. Thank you for being you.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 months ago

      I woke up at about four A,M. I was in a beautiful sleep. We had some rain all during the night. I had the windows open in the front of the house to get a beautiful breeze. I went to check near the window to see if the rain had changed direction, causing the rain to come in and get everything wet. That happened last night and the rain was getting everything wet. So I was forced to close the windows in the back of the house. After wiping up a mess I knew I should of shut the windows. I refuse to do it. I enjoy the breeze and cool air too much. As I wipe I say to myself it is only water. No harm done. I remember as a kid running around my mom and dads house shutting windows on a rainy day. I often think back to those memories and cherish every one. I might of told you before that I wanted to keep their home in the family. When my mom died it was up to her four sons to decide what to do. I wanted to rent it out. I knew how hard my mom and dad worked to take care of it. They were so proud of what they did. The home was old but adorable and small but cute. We left their bedroom set and a refrigerator and a full up right freezer. A washer and dryer. Air conditioners and my mom just bought a new stove. My older brothers wanted to sell. My oldest brother wasn't feeling too good. Later he had a double lung transplant. Then passed away in 7/25/16. He said if you think it is worth more. Then you buy it. I could not afford it at the lower price never mind the higher price. I have my own home in Maine. So I had to let it go. The person who bought it said they loved it just the way it is. He was going to fix it up nice. His name was Michael and he was a mechanic. I thought it was a sign from the heavens. To let the house go. He didn't have much and the home would be a perfect fit. The house sold for 100,000. Which was the lowest priced in the area. The realtor said because of its size and the market was low at the time .My mothers wish was that if we all could not all agree it would be sold. No arguing. My oldest brother was the executor of the estate. A friend of the realtors was interested and it never went to market. The realtor said it was a fair price. It sold on 11/10/12. Coming up on six years. I would drive by and see if any progress on the house. After awhile I realized that the house was being totally gutted out. Nothing saved or cared for. The current value of the home in the area is about 269.000. I would of had our family home and some equity. My mom and dad would of been so proud. It didn't work out that way at all. I did use my share of the sale of the home to help get my roof repaired and to buy a much newer car needed shortly after. I know things always work out for the best. I still can't see it clearly yet. I have to accept it. It still frustrates me and from time to time I get in a blue mood. I look at all the wonderful things in my life that I do have and I am very thankful and grateful. When I think of having my moms house I wonder if it was greed for more money or the attachment of moms and dads , our family home being sold. I keep on writing about it and the more I reveal my inner feelings. Losing my brother doesn't compare to losing the home. So I have to put it in the right perspective. I want both my brother back and our family home. Now I have neither. What I do have is a lovely wife. We both have good jobs and a small ranch style home we built in Maine. Us and the bank until our mortgage is paid in full in 20 years. I recently stopped writing to gather my thoughts. Now I write again. Work has been busy and life is going well. In a nutshell I guess what I am trying to say is I can let go but it is not easy. I often think there is a better way. I will continue to struggle and rehash the good and the bad. Seeing it in a different light as time goes on. It is not the end of the world. Sure we all want to do things different at different times in our lives. I still live mostly in the moment . Nobody said growing us was easy. I do know I never hurt anyone in the process. So all my choices are affecting my future. My wife supports me but when it came to keep the house or sell she said we can't afford it. It would not be smart to jeopardize our home in the process. Just incase moms home needed repairs we couldn't afford. So I reluctantly agreed. I think your hub rings true in many ways. I want to thank you for writing this hub. I am so appreciative of our friendship and thoughts that I get to share. Wishing you good health and happiness. You are always in my prayers. Please take care.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      6 months ago from TEXAS

      YES!, Michael! Life is great! It’s wonderful to think over the many blessings one has for which to be so grateful! Just feeling thankful feels good! I do it a lot, for both little and big blessings!

      Letting go of heavy things when it is clear that there is nothing one can do at the time about them just makes good sense. That time wasted fretting about those can be used for something else which improves things or just makes one happier. Stress is harmful to one’s health and good feelings are helpful to one’s health! So feeling more relaxed, contented and happy are better than extra health insurance!

      Yes, when we feel negatively about the way others act or do things, we can remind ourselves that some things we do don’t please others. But the main thing to remind oneself is that we have plenty of things of our own to focus on doing as well as possible and that is an area over which we do have positive infuence and control. Also, if our example is good, it may have a positive influence over others, which may not even be in the exact way we'd expect.

      George and I had a marriage in which each of us enjoyed getting the routine things done if we got there first, too. We even built a cabin at the ranch together! One hears of couples who can’t even agree on the wallpaper or paint for a room, much less, - building anything from scratch together! haha.

      When we each had our own separate projects, we were each supportive of the others’, too. We would tell and show each other about what we’d accomplished at the end of the day, maybe ask advice or offer it.

      Yes, I appreciate the people who have left their marks on my life. It goes all the way back to my childhood. We can keep ‘paying it forward’, as they say!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      7 months ago

      It's Sunday morning and both my wife and I woke up feeling incredible. I just lay in bed looking at the ceiling and thinking how great is this. My body feels light and airy Both of us are healthy and happy. I think back to your hub and wonder how many times I didn't let go and how hard my struggles have been because of it. Then all the times I did let go and all the wonderful, magnificent changes that happened because I did. The list grows long and page after page as my mind races forward to relay the message to my hand to write it down. I see a pattern. I wonder if I could weave this pattern into a butterfly reminding me how important change and growth are. In work I struggle to see people do certain things a certain way that I think would work best. Then after all is said and done the job got done. It is not the way I would of done it but then again maybe when I was learning maybe the person before me didn't like the way I did things. The more I fight it to remain the same. The more it changes. I have learned to back off and refocus my energy on other interests and realize if my own bosses don't care then why should I. I held my ground firm for years and said to myself I can make them see and believe what I see. To my surprise I was wrong. All the effort and energy to accomplish what I thought was the best for the company. I think I brought my work home with me long enough. I have found out things that really matter you don't have to change. My wife and I get up and one of us will make the bed, It is simple and not a big deal. It makes our home look beautiful. It is not her job or my job both of ours. Whoever gets to it first. Then the other person will notice it and always says thank you for making the bed. Both of us the makee and on looker are both pleased with the outcome. I found out the reason this is different than my work situations is that we both want the same outcome. A beautiful home we appreciate and admire. At work it is just a job to them and not an accomplishment. I found that my work ethics carry on to whatever I do. Sometimes my hands are tied and I have to think differently with a more open mind. My wife and I constantly share our thoughts everything from grocery shopping to getting gas. Communication is one of the most valuable tools in love making also. To be a well rounded person with many interests and desires it only can work with a another person supportive and sharing many of the same desires. Not all so we can constantly challenge each other and create the stimulation needed to appreciate the new. You will find I go back to the basic lessons that I have learned in my life that have guided me this far. I often reflect on past decisions and now years later see if I made the right choice or not. I do that with my writing often. I look at old comments and hubs and see if my views have changed. To my surprise they have which in the past I didn't think so. They have evolved to a more compassionate and understanding me. I have learned to give more and let more go. I still hold a very strong love for my parents and relatives who I miss. That love I show in everything I do. It is not lost or forgotten which before I think would happen. As you move on with your day and we both read and write about life in the now. I am so happy and joyous of all the wonderful people that have left their mark on me. In my mind I think of an Indian that paints his or her face. How great would it be if everyone I ever met left their own color paint. Body paint from head to toe. Protection from all the bad things in the world. At the same time looking for the next spot to mark. In the shower it would wash off. Then I have to go back to all the people I have known and ask them to mark me again. Each day a new design. Just another beauty mark that goes deep into skin with no side effects. I will stop there. I have to eat and get ready for work. Thank you in all my words and for the wonderful design you have left on my life. My wife said if I don't eat she will take the computer away. (lol) That is love.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      So much 'meat' in your comment that I'll reply in two windows, if I may. (The second portion is so very personal, - not that it all is not, but that part is especially so.)

      Living to 100 is only a good goal if it’s really “living”, which is an essential element in my goal to reach that century mark. I’m pursuing it with that in mind, of staying able and all that. Your Mama Lucy surely recognized that it had become untenable and let go gracefully and honorably.

      It does appear that your and my families share much in common in the art departments! My George’s family has both right and left-brained evidence, as does mine, - not that those are mutually exclusive! We had no children together but my daughter is a pretty good artist.

      I have limited knowledge or records of the full scope of my parent's ancestral artistic heritage on each side of my family, but Mother was an artist in painting all her life, studied Fine Art at the Chicago Art Institute and earned a degree in it there. Later, she became a student of a very highly respected Texas artist, Frank Reaugh (pronounced Ray). She was an ardent follower of art museums and a charter member of some prominent ones in Texas. She's mentioned among Texas artists. She also pursued and produced in many other artistic areas. All of my siblings and I have/had strong artistic bents. So it would be genetic through her line. She was both right and left-brained, though favoring the sciences which focus on life, such as biology and botany. In practice, she was more obviously right-brained than left.

      Dad was much more left-brained,- mathematical, scientific, analytical, philosophical, practical, and verbal. He was a master debater in the classic sense. He appreciated beauty in art and music. But as a career choice, he was quite firm in insisting that all four of his children must get our educations in practical fields in which making a living is virtually certain if one has the knowledge and willingness, rather than in more uncertain, competitive art fields which are dependent on other people’s whims, regardless of one’s ability. We all managed to squeeze our art studies into our courses, but not as our majors which were in practical disciplines.

      Probably his strict ancestral Mennonite background discouraged the arts. Individuals in his family’s history are praised for their honorability, service, steadfastness, dedication, and such, no mention of artistic achievements, though surely some of them had some. Dad’s father did have a penchant for thoroughbred horses. Of course the religion would not permit racing in any form, so he bred them and used them as farm animals. One was sold to the British Queen’s stable, though.

      Certainly his mother, when she lived with us during the time Mother was attending Art Club, teaching Sunday School at her Methodist Church, studying with Frank Reaugh and expressing herself colorfully, was quite disapproving. She managed to persuade Dad to have Mother stay at the ranch to supervise things there indefinitely; but mostly it was to limit and squelch her. Mother painted some lovely pictures out there then, though. But the story is that situation was how I happened to join the family. Mother reasoned that she would definitely get to return to town to birth a baby, so she made sure that when Dad came to the ranch frequently, she’d be likely to get pregnant, and she did, at age 40. I can only imagine the conversations back in town with Grandmother taking charge of my elder siblings. It’s probably a miracle that I was accepted at all. But I grew up feeling loved, even if sometimes grudgingly, perhaps.

      Yes, your art heritage through the Weld family is obviously magnificent and traceable through the history of Lulworth Castle and its artwork, not to mention your own amazing art in so many areas. I genuinely enjoyed that link about it! What a history! My George's family link to Lord George Hay of Pedwardin doesn't specify a castle, though that ancestor was of the aristocracy. Would love to go over there and poke around! I may find connections in the genealogy I'm tracing of various members of high rank. Who knows! Thank you for letting me poke around Lulworth Castle. I'd like to see it in reality, too. I’ve no objection to posting the link here. I don’t know about any rules preventing posting links in comments. I do it with discretion myself. My hubs are not in the mainstream, though, since I disallow ads and do not vie for payment for use of my hub traffic.

      I can fully see the strength, independence and determination in you, as an example of Weld women!! So spunky! When I was 3 or 4, I overheard Dad discussing me with Mother. He said, “She’s a very determined little girl!” At the time I didn’t know how to interpret it, but over my lifetime, those words have reverberated in my head to give me courage when I faced obstacles and challenges! “I am a very determined title girl!” Yes, I am and Daddy said so! haha. Sometimes it's a dogged Capricornia type of determination and others, - mostly, - it's the free-flying Aquarian type, where it all merges. An interesting and sometimes awesome combination.

      Most of my poetry really doesn’t expose my vulnerability much. For one thing, much of it was my natural response to all cheerful, positive and/or deeper-thinking /pondering kinds of things I encountered or which simply arose in me. I had plenty of the opposite kinds of hurting negative things going on externally in my immediate reality during my first marriage when I was so prolific writing poetry, so I’d no need or wish to preserve or to give negatives power or credence in my poetry, nor even too much in my thoughts. I admit it rather saddens when I see people’s words seeming to wallow in their predicaments, though it's understandable. But once captured in words, it's so lasting.

      My subconscious emphasis was to rise above the negativity, so instead of writing about it, I was focusing on protecting and preserving my inner core of joy, peace and progress, even at that time, which flourished, almost literally inspired from within, from reading and doing creative, positive things. Much of it was drawn from within and from my own responses to nature and the human condition. Those positives couldn’t be nourished by the hateful things happening, but were nourished by my focus on the better things. Plus, it was written in an almost coded form, ultra-brief and intensely meaningful only to me of any who might read it then. It is enormously gratifying that, somehow, my poetry, - especially that written during that era, - speaks so well to many people who have read some of it now, since I’ve shared some. I can’t know specifically how it’s being received and interpreted by other subjectivities, but I feel that real human messages transcending individual experiences and underlying all human experience are transmitted in those simple words. For that I give thanks.

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      2 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      I have often said, Nellieanna, that it would be great to live to be 100. It is my goal, as well. Mama Lucy could have lived so much longer past 104 but she sent those 4 years past 100 simply lingering, waiting for death or encouraging death to come. Like I said I think she really was just ready.

      Our family background is very similar, in that my family was very much involved in the arts. Apparently, there are paintings created by the Welds still hanging in Lulworth Castle. Our family is filled with artists and musicians and other creatives. It has been passed down for centuries. Many of our family members were so curious as to why there were so many artists in the family. Now we realize it is in our blood.

      The link for the castle is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT45xZ8oMOU

      I'm hoping it's ok to post that here.

      The Welds women are very strong, determined, independent women, a group I am very proud to be a member of.

      I understand how you feel about publishing your work. It took me a while before I started to post my poetry here. It really was like letting someone read my diary. It a very exposing and vulnerable act when it came to posting my poetry.

      It seems that we have so much in common. I too had an abusive marriage, and still dealing with some ramifications of it in my two oldest children, products of that marriage. My ex-husband put a knife to my throat, an act which was witnessed by my children. Of course, as part of the divorce agreement, he insisted that this was not to be spoken of ever again. In recent years he has held up pictures of myself with my children when they were babies and threatened to burn them in front of my daughter. My oldest son suffers the most as a result due to the fact that he was closest to me when he witnessed the knife incident. I have started working on a book, sort of a semi-autobiograhy in which I discuss overcoming so many difficult incidents in my life from marriage to ilness. Much of my paintings deal with my experiences so I also working on compiling my work in a book.....prior to death. Like you said, I want to be able to have a had in it.

      In the meantime, I keep painting and writing and living and loving.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear Gina. I know I’d have loved your great-grandmother! And she lived to 100, as I’m hoping to do! I wonder if one simply feels ready to go then. If so, it’s probably best to go. If one’s quality of life feels too minimized and there is scant likelihood of growing out of the slump, it’s surely better to gracefully accept it that way. Anyway, how wonderful that you got to know her, learn from her and to travel the many years between the two of you. I’m sure you soaked up a lot from her and gave her pleasure, too.

      By coincidence, Lucy was George’s mother’s name. I didn’t get to know her, since she died before I met George, but I live with some of her amazing artwork. She carved walnut for amazing wall hangings and table-tops. I even found one in the garage which she’d been working on but hadn’t finished with a border of oak leaves and acorns. A main one of the finished pieces depicts the Hay shield, motto and a little about a Scottish Lord Pedwardin who was an early ancestor. Her hanging is here in my house & is shown on one of my pages about George. http://nellieanna.com/renovateanimos.html

      There were also Hay relatives in Wales. There’s a town named Hay-on-Wye, right on the border of Wales and England. It’s famous for its library. We'd hoped to visit it when we were in England, but didn’t make it. Always intended to go back and go there and to Scotland, but time ran out.

      Your family heritage is fascinating. How tragic that you lost the start of a book about them when your computer crashed. I’d love to read it. Hope you get a chance to resurrect the information and re-write it. My backup Time Capsule is failing to connect to my computer, due to a glitch, so I’m not getting automatic backups. I must take measures to get it going!

      I’m blown away by your ancestral background. Now I understand about your name! Gina is a shortened form of Regina, meaning Queen! So it’s much more than just application of a sense of humor! I’d love to see that u-tube about the Lulworth Castle and all that history.

      I have to admit that I’m ambivalent about publishing my poetry. Over my entire life of writing poetry from childhood on, up till a few years ago, mostly when I rather reluctantly began to publish it on Hubpages six years ago, it remained intensely personal, like a diary. (I noticed that you compare your artwork to a diary, so you’ll understand.) I shared a few individual poems with close friends and in the new millennium when I'd gotten into the internet, a few made it onto my own website, but all along I was only slightly inclined even to think of it as poetry except that is was extremely concise and expressive, so vastly different from my verbose, lengthy prose productions which try to explain it all ad nauseam! haha. There can be no doubt about which is my poetry and which is my prose.

      But I’d simply never written & preserved my poetry so as to be shared, but only to capture and keep my own thoughts and impressions where I could refer to them myself to keep contact with myself and to be sure that I was really still ‘in here’. Also, I regarded them as so much a continuous story that none of it could be fully meaningful if broken into its parts, which I felt would be necessary even if to share one of them with strangers. Of course the poems were all hand-written, though I’ve been transcribing them gradually to computer.

      At the time of my greatest prolific poetry writing, it was literally my protection from a very unkind husband whose admitted intention was to destroy me, if not physically, then in every other way, for his selfish gain.

      At one point, he became so alarmed at my poetry writing as being somehow subversive, though he never fathomed it, that he made me go with him to the trash-burning barrel and stand there to witness his burning a whole thick notebook of my handwritten poems, along with my college mementos and photos. After that, I made duplicate copies of my poems and hid them. It’s too long and bizarre a story to expand upon much, and is now history, - part of my poetry history and a vital part of my own personal history and its long-term effects. It’s also a strong factor in my strength and character. It is what it is, and so be it.

      So, anyway, officially poetry publishing is hanging in the air. I used to think it might be discovered & published posthumously. I no longer think about that. I’d prefer to be alive and involved. I’ve been encouraged to publish by many knowledgeable people who have vigorously suggested that my poetry should belong to the public and to posterity. I can understand that; it probably should be shared.

      I’ve also been approached by a professional publisher-friend who wants to publish at least one book of the poems (there are thousands). He even made a preliminary design for a beautiful book cover and has assured me that I could have as much or as little ‘say’ in the publication as I want. I’ve seriously been considering it and I like his genuine ‘feeling’ for my work which I could trust. So we shall see. Living keeps interfering! haha.

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      2 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Yes, Nellieanna. My great-grandmother was a living history book. She had 9 siblings so you can imagine how large our family is just from Mama Lucy's side ( as she was affectionately called) Mama Lucy had 8 children who had a host of children themselves. I've managed to rack our family back to the late 1500s in Wales when our name came into existence. I was working on a book at the time, when my computer crashed and all my copies were lost. However, I now know enough of where to look and get the information to restart. No quitting there.

      when I was younger I was told about our family being descended from royalty and owning a castle. After asking a lot of questions and doing a lot of research I found out it was true. It's the Lulworth castle in Dorset, England. There's a great video about it on Youtube. Maybe that's why my mother named me Gina, meaning Queen. She had a sense of humor. lol.

      Your story is intriguing. Isn't it amazing? My great-grandmother was born in 1889. It's mind-boggling to think that I spoke to, interacted with and learned from someone who lived over a hundred years. I think she could have lived for so much longer but she gave up when she reached 100. She was ready to go.

      Have you looked into self-publishing? Amazon Kindle publishing could help you with that book as well as your poetry. hint-hint. The world needs to be blessed with your words of wisdom, encouragement and love.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Hi, Gina. I love your account of posting pictures of your predecessors on your Wall of Fame-ily! That’s a great name for it! It’s delightful that your children get to know of and appreciate those in their heritage. I feel the love and admiration you have for your predecessors, especially your great-grandmother who lived through years when Van Gogh lived before and into the 1890s and she was alive for early 20th century events such as the Titanic in 1914. That is such a treasure. How lucky you were to sit at your great-grandmother’s feet and listen to her wisdom and personal accounts of major events of her days! Being alive for major historic events is truly wonderful and admirable. Your great grandmother, and I’m sure, your grandmother are obviously worthy of it! It’s especially wonderful that you know and honor their experiences and lives. The way families are in this era, so scattered and often involved in extended families, many ties and familiarities with their biological and long-term relatives and generations have been dimmed, if not lost, I think. But not with you and your children. I'm thrilled that you've shared this with me.

      I love the part about your grandmother’s recipes. I made pineapple upside-down cake for my own family, too. I no longer bake but was quite a cook back then. Some of Mother’s recipes are preserved in a cookbook compiled by her church friends. I love that. I also learned by watching her, like the little shadow I was! Harriet jotted down her own great recipes, too and I have those slips of paper in her own hand. Such treasures and memories in one's loved ones' recipes!

      My parents were born in 1890 and 1892. I was born in 1932 and knew only one of their parents, my paternal grandmother, born in 1859, who was very elderly and lived with us in Texas when I was born and for a few years thereafter. She was a very prim Mennonite woman, strict and lacking color, the opposite of Mother, whom she didn't really approve of. She liked me and I treasure doll clothes and a little hand-quilted doll quilt and pillow she made for me, but my memory of her was mostly as one of the ‘big people’ with whom I was surrounded as a child and the one whom the others somewhat feared. She left when I was still quite young to return to northern Indiana and live out the rest of her life with another of her sons, and I never saw her again.

      Of course, my parents lived through major events of the late 1800s and early 1900s, as your great-grandmother did. Mother was an early proponent of women’s rights, before women were given the right to vote. When she graduated from the University of Chicago with two bachelor’s degrees in 1917, and when my parents married then, there was still no women’s suffrage. She’d tried to arouse her fellow students to rise to the cause for several years. I found the fact that she was tireless and her cause was 'to prove that woman is man's equal' in the pre-college yearbook description of her in 1912 and also in her own diary. Dad was OK with it though he was an old-fashioned man reared as a very fundamental Mennonite, though he left that church about the time they married and when he was drafted into WWI service and chose not to be a conscientious objector as his church demanded. Both events played parts in his leaving that church and influenced their coming to Texas to seek their fortune. They were an amazing disparate couple in many ways, with strong shared love and goals whose marriage lasted 57 years till her death. I'm a mixture of both of them.

      Dad actually taught Mother in school when she was in the 8th grade and he was in the 10th and was allowed to go out into rural Illinois to teach in a one-room schoolhouse in 1910. I have the little printed booklet that served as a yearbook for it with his picture on the cover, and Mother's and her younger sisters' names among the classes. He was an influence for her to get a college education, which was rare then. He loved her intelligence and spirit.

      My other grandparents had all passed on before I was born. Mother’s mother, born in 1865, died only a month before I was born. Both grandmothers were second wives of my two grandfathers, who were born in the 1840s and died when my parents themselves were young. Back then it was common for first wives to bear a lot of children and die before their husbands, who usually remarried, at least partly to have a mother for the children. I was named for the eldest of each of my two grandfather’s children by their first wives, Nellie and Anna.

      My grandparents' parents who would be my great-grandparents were all born between 1820 and 1830. It’s almost mind-boggling to think of so few generations reaching back nearly two centuries from now, and here I am only four generations later, alive and well in 2016 and going for at least 2032!

      I have handwritten American Civil War letters written home from some of Mother’s uncles who were in the actual battles fighting on the Union side in the 1860s. One of her predecessors fought in the American Revolution for our Independence.

      Both my parents’ families came to this country before it was an independent country. Earlier generations on record of each family trace back to Europe and earlier historic times which fascinate me. Dad’s ancestors were early Protestants followers of Menno Simon, a contemporary of Martin Luther and other protestant founders of the era. Dad's ancestors back then were literally driven out of Switzerland, Holland and Germany for their beliefs and fled to North America. The account is in the first of Dad's two published family Descendent books.

      As a kid, I poured over the first of the Descendent books of Dad's family going back to the 1600s. I was born just in time to have my name in it. I was always looking up people’s names among the “allied names” listed, hoping to find someone I knew there. Of course, all those allied or related people still living were way up north and unlikely to be found in Del Rio, Texas! haha. But hope sprang eternal! I loved to visit elderly neighbors, too. The second volume continues the lineage.

      I’m still working on Mother’s ‘British Isles’ heritage but they arrived here before the American Revolution. Her Scottish ties were with the Barclay clan.

      There are many family old photos, including some tintypes used in the 1850s and 1860s, and many various mementos and extensive descendent records. I’m the keeper of many of those treasures, thankfully, being the only of our natal family still living.

      Mother’s half-sister’s daughter compiled a family history of the ancestry on my grandfather’s and their grandmother’s side. They traced it back to a signer of the Magna Carta but I’ve not been able to determine if it was in our common grandparent’s lineage or if it was their grandmother’s. One of Mother’s own nieces compiled our family’s genealogy back to the American Revolution through our grandparents’ lines. I’ve been following it all on Ancestry.com, too, as time permits, adding dates and other ancestors as I uncover them. It’s so very fascinating. Being the last of our natal family alive, I feel a certain duty to do it. I don’t dwell there, but I value the history and heritage. My son’s kids whom I’ve more recently known have been keenly interested to find their own traits and bents in me, which they’d been unable to find and explain in their other grandparents’ traits and bents.

      As to my own generation and our progeny. All three of my siblings are passed on and my five living nieces and nephews have only a few progeny among them, all grown and living not too far from me, while my own progeny are all up in Indiana and Ohio. I’ve two children, seven grandchildren and thirteen great-grands, a couple of whom are old enough to have children of their own which would make me a great-great-grandmother! It’s sad to me that they have so little knowledge of my family’s rich heritage, and some, a kind of ambivalent disinterest in it. Perhaps the records I have and the genealogy on Ancestry will fill it in if some of them grow more aware and curious. And, time permitting, I may write a book about it, along with publishing some of my much poetry!

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      2 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      "Living doesn't seem to leave a lot of time to devote to it.

      I love that, Nellieanna! It's nice to be able to pause and reflect on the past and those precious memories, but we should be busy living life and making even more precious memories.

      I walk past a picture of my grandmother and great-grandmother every day. In fact I have a whole wall. I call it my Wall of Fame-ily. My kids and I talk about the people represented, but we don't dwell there. We talk about lessons that I learned from each of them, such as the great pineapple upside-down cake I learned to make from my grandmother....that I still make to this day, and the kids love it. I think so many of my recipes come from my grandmother, and I am trying to pass them down to my children, but this generation is a little different, but they are proud that they can talk about and boast (at least one of my children) that he met his great-grandmother. He really doesn't remember, though, as he was just a baby. My great-grandmother died at age 104.

      She was a treasure trove of knowledge and wisdom. I always thought it was so neat that she was alive during the time of Vincent Van Gogh (my favorite artist) as well as the Titanic tragedy and so many wars. Just incredible. I used to love just sitting at her feet and listen to her tell these stories.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      That is such a poignant story about your mother, Gina. it was good that she was able to tell you things during your last conversation, even though she didn't fully recognize you. It almost seems that she may have felt the bond. My dad had Alzheimers and didn't recognize me at the last, though I believe he saw me as Mother, perhaps, or one of my older sisters. He was unable to communicate but he seemed to reach out. Mother was functioning right up to the end. Perhaps it was a difference in their life-time attitudes and positivity. Who knows?

      Oh, yes, life is short, no matter how many years it claims. We're only really living the moment we are in at present. The past is fixed and not alive and the future is - future and not alive.

      But one's story just keeps growing and expanding as one keeps living it moment to moment and day by day.

      I keep saving tidbits I write down in various situations, especially as I'm discussing life with others. I try to save copies of a lot of them in a folder for my memoirs, IF I should ever stop long enough to write them. Living doesn't seem to leave a lot of time to devote to it. haha. Much is also family history. Yet just tending to the constant 'tiresome details of living' as Mother called them, detracts from following up on one's create things. She learned to tend to the TDLs fast, though, so she could get on to her art and other many creative interests. Even so, she was of the era in which women cooked and served 3 meals a day, kept the family tended first-hand. One of her many interests was sewing and designing, so it served double duty. She let a lot of things which are less important 'go', though. She was an inspiration. I followed her around, learning from example. I know how blessed I was. Dad provided other good examples of facets of living and filled another area of my own brain hemispheres. Then there were all those older siblings, every one a charismatic personality and influence. And I survived it all!

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      2 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Oh, my! I am heading there to read the story. I can imagine all the "what if" scenarios that must have gone through your head, but in the end you realize there were so many lessons that she taught you that still live on.

      This has been on my mind today. My mother died three years ago. When I was two years old she gave me to her mother, my grandmother, to be raised in another country. Needless to say I didn't see my mother often but I knew of her and knew her. It was not until later on...around 12 years of age... that I had a chance to really meet her.

      She died of complications arising from Alzheimer's. The last visit with her had such an impact on me, and still does. She did not recognize me.

      Today I kept thinking about the last real conversation we had and the things she told me, and it prompted me to start a hub which I am working on, as well as a question that I posted earlier...about lessons that you learned from your mother.

      Life is short. We never know what the next day or moment will bring.

      Thanks for sharing your story.I am so glad we connected here on HP.

      Much love!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Hello, again, Gina. Thank you for revisiting. I appreciate your following me and I’ve also followed you because I really like your mind and your work.

      Right, you're not the only one who feels the presence of beloved ones gone on. I'm happy for you and your son that a calmness and peacefulness prevails.

      You are right that my George will definitely live on in my heart - and in the hearts of others who loved him, and there are many.

      Yet, letting go of the sadness and sense of loss is truly part of the process. The hardest loss of my life was that of my eldest sister by 14 years, who, with her entire family, all died Dec. 13, 1953 when their car was hit by a train. I loved her dearly, but the 'rest of the story' made it even more difficult for me, since I'd defied her 'micro-management' of my life during my undergraduate days. Then, when I’d realized that she fully intended to continue it indefinitely after my graduation, I thought I could not stand up to her, but had to assert myself. It was just 6 months prior to their accident that I just escaped without explanation, to another city to try my hand at being independent at 21. So when the accident happened, I was unforgiven and also realized that, had I not simply escaped, I would have been with them in the car, helping with the children. There was no possibility of anyone surviving it.

      It’s a story I wrote in a hub on one of its anniversaries a couple of years ago. I wrote it mainly because it was and still is such a major event in my life. Of course, it’s not a light story, though to me it is not a morbid story. It's the kind of story which could happen to others and might have either really bad consequences for their lives or otherwise. I treasure the things I learned from her and am thankful for my life being spared by unforeseen unfolding of circumstances at the time. She has inspired me ever since. https://hubpages.com/literature/60-years-ago-today...

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      2 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Nellieanna, thank you for sharing that with me. I am so glad that I am not the only who experiences the presence of a loved one who has gone on. There are times that I hear him call my name. Even our son came to me recently and said, "Mom, I think daddy is here." He's 10.

      We honor his memory by remembering all the funny times we had. Our son cries a lot less now, and thinks about his dad with such calm and peace.

      Thanks for sharing the website. Your beloved George will forever live on in your heart and the hearts of those who love him.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear Gina, thank you for visiting my hub and leaving your heart-felt comment.

      Of course, there is no 'one size fits all' - people or situations. Letting go is just an objective for us to help us get on with the life unfolding by releasing the life that's unfolded and can no longer be changed or improved. But of course, we remember. We FEEL. We want to keep the precious past and there is no reason we can't. We just need to remember that we are investing the now in it as we look back. We're not keeping it now.

      I lost my beloved George 8 years ago this coming Sept. 5. I miss him. I look at his empty chair and envision him sitting there, being there. I treasure those memories and I often 'talk' to him! Yes, I do! It's a precious thing. I can mentally 'answer' for him, knowing him as I do/did. But I have to also know that it can't change or keep up with change. It doesn't have to, because it's a whole of its own and it is complete. It was completed Sept.5, 2008. I was with him. I saw it leave his body. I 'heard' our beloved cats who had died meow just as it happened. They were there to welcome him, or that was how it seemed to me, and it was comforting.

      All the other things people say to comfort one, such as that 'he's no longer in pain', may be so, but the main focus must be that his spirit didn't die. I must not limit him by clinging, any more than I ever wanted to limit his life-time changes by clinging.

      Rest assured, I fully empathize. I can't recommend anything beyond sharing my experience. Two years is not so long ago. But I do encourage you to release any of the pain or doubt. For me, faith is expressed in these four words: "There is no problem." All is in God's hands. Our part is to believe that.

      I'm 84 and the sole survivor of my entire natal family and even of my eldest grandchild. In fact, the anniversary of her death 2 years ago is coming up this month. It's not easy to let go of any of these dear loved ones. Each one has been a living part of my own life. I want to honor that by remembering those good things and by letting go of negatives.

      This is a webpage I made in tribute to George soon after his departure, remembering his life, mostly in pictures. http://nellieanna.com/geo-mementopix/geo-memento.h...

      I seldom post links to my websites, but it's so fitting now. Hugs and my prayers and thoughts are with you, beautiful person.

    • Gina Welds-Hulse profile image

      Gina Welds Hulse 

      2 years ago from Rockledge, Florida

      Nellieanna, I love the thought that went into all the occasions of life where letting is so pertinent, and necessary. Very -provoking. Recently my mind has been on my deceased lover (two years) and part of me tells myself to just let it go, yet part of me holds on and still questions why he was taken so soon.

      I appreciate this so much. It has pierced my soul.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you Lisa Van Vorst. Yes, it brings a sense of serenity to let go of burdensome things and things which are finished.

      I appreciate your: "The knowledge of freedom and the thought of reason."

      Pleasant to meet you.

    • lisavanvorst profile image

      Lisa VanVorst 

      2 years ago from New Jersey

      This was beautiful. It gave me a sense of serenity. A choice in life itself. The knowledge of freedom and the thought of reason. Well done.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Audrey, what a lovely comment! You've made my day.

      I've enjoyed revisiting this hub, myself. So thank you for that, as well!

      I'm working on staying healthy, happy and peaceful. Those are key things in a lengthening life! Being oneself is, too.

      I admire and appreciate you greatly!

      Hugs and love - Nellieanna

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 

      2 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      Thank you dear Nellieanna for this very important message. Your delivery is a combination of beauty, inspiration and extremely helpful and beneficial.

      Love oozes out of every pore of your artistic and brilliant mind. You are truly a diamond! Your glorious light shines through every word - motivating the reader.

      What a sweet, precious soul you are.

      Stay healthy, happy and may peace surround you.

      Love

      Audrey

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you, Nell! Glad you liked it!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      2 years ago from England

      Once again its such a beautiful hub Nellieanna, you always make me think and smile, wonderful!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Your healing is a beautiful thing to see, DREAM ON. I'm grateful for being allowed to tag along. I say that sincerely, because I know that it can only be experienced and accomplished by the person himself or herself. Others may say or do something to focus the person to look within at the hangups AND the strengths and truths, but that input is incidental. In fact, if the person in need of healing is unready - or incapable of - self-healing outside influence can just as easily stir the opposite reaction and inspire it it to become worse - but it's still all within the person if that happens. Others don't have the power except as someone either lets them or, more likely, uses them to justify their own agendas.

      I've always admired your spirit and felt confident that you know how to find your voice and influence! Hugs.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      2 years ago

      I could easily start every day with this hub. Letting go is so important and healing. You are sweet as honey. Which I found out by having one teaspoon of natural local grown honey a day it works wonders for hay fever and other allergies. I love the smell of fresh cut grass. You could say I get a natural high on it. One of life's secret treasures that cost nothing and gives me so much joy. The only problem it would make me sneeze. Not no more. How good is that. My mother's passing three years ago was my biggest struggle. When I realized I was doing everything I knew to hold on when if I just let go everything would feel and be better. I was never taught to let go. In my mind if you let go it meant you gave up. You are a quitter and that was a loser. Unacceptable !Harsh as it may seem that is what some members of my family taught me at a young age. It took me years to understand even people we respected and trusted are not always right. We have to decide for ourselves. This is our life. Finally to let go so we can see the beauty in what we have loved and continue to appreciate all the love we have to everything else we are doing right now. A tough lesson to learn but one I can appreciate your wisdom and experience. Thank you for all you patience and understanding over the years. The sun is shining off the snow like beautiful crystal. I never owned any but my cousin had a lot and I enjoyed looking at it but I never had room for it so I had to let it go. I am learning every day. To my surprise in ways I never expected. Thank you so much.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you!

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 

      2 years ago from Bangalore

      So nice of you to write so elaborately. Thanks for reading my comments in other hub sites, with interest. I sure will also read the book you have mentioned.

      - Hari

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Hari, thank you so much for your perceptive comment on this hub and its subject.

      You're right that understanding the concept of letting go is more likely to come later in life, with experience and maturity. I read "The Wisdom of Uncertainty" by Alan Watts in my mid -30s which essentially shows why letting go is wise, since the present is all there is, and life is change. I'll be 84 in February. The understanding of letting go and appreciating life's nature has been quite valuable all these years.

      I look forward to reading your poem on moving ahead when it's written.

      Thank you for following me. I just now checked your Hubsite and saw that you've written much of interest to me. That was where I noticed you'd commented on this hub of mine.

    • shprd74 profile image

      Hari Prasad S 

      2 years ago from Bangalore

      This hub is great. The natural way of living is letting go. The concept of letting go is well explained with examples. Most understand this concept pretty late in life and go through so much pain my keeping every moment of their experience good or bad in memory and do not move ahead.

      You hub has trigger me to write a poem on moving ahead. Take care.

      - Hari

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      2 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you so much for visiting my hub! It's not a new hub, but goes back a year and a half or so. It's still relevant.

      I understand exactly the difficulty in letting go you mention, Nell. Realizing that it's the only real choice when it's called for, though, helps to give one courage through it.

      I'd written a quite lengthy reply here, but realize it's really another hub follow-up on this important subject. You'd deserve the credit for activating me to write it. Thank you.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      2 years ago from England

      Change is something we can't help so letting go is part of that, its hard sometimes, but I love the way you expressed it, wonderful!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Aw, Dream On ~ I’m honored by your words and your confidence in me. I accept it, knowing I’m just another fellow human-being with the typical pressures and various responses to them which are not always up to my standards, but I’m always learning from each experience & from the process of living. If we already knew it all perfectly, we wouldn’t have much purpose living in this world. Besides, we’d be unbearable!!

      There are people in this world at various stages of their own lives’ education, development and enlightenment. We can’t change where they are for them, other than being as good examples as we are capable of. We also can’t try to tell them to follow our examples, either. Their own ability (or not) to ‘see’ its positives, to forgive our negatives & to want to put the positives into their own lives as they see fit (not as we might wish it) is our only possible realistic contribution.

      REALISTIC is best because it allows us to deal with what IS & improve it.

      When we bump into those whose development has them at a selfish, mean level, one must not stoop to that level, and one does not have to stay on its precipice if the people continue with diatribes & meanness which attacks, damages,& does neither them or oneself any good. Let it go.

      Sometimes we may even bump into someone whose selfishness has cloaked itself in appearances of kindness, but if their main activities demonstrate a real motive to subdue or to ‘win’, then one must be aware & alert. We can’t judge their motives. We can only measure their negative effects on ourselves. From one’s own position, if their efforts & attitudes feel like & prove that they’re out to dominate oneself, & if the effect on oneself is of being manipulated, pushed past what one offers & chooses, & if it feels like being exploited or ‘used’ for that other person’s own selfish wants, needs or whims without real regard for one’s own prerogatives, (even if the person offers words of care but lacks showing it), then one should not allow it. Let it go.

      If this kind of situation arises, which seems likely if one is a giving, generous person (which can make one an ideal target for this), one must realize that attempting to fill that person’s quest would not help or satisfy it because it’s shown itself as a neurotic quest, & neurotic needs & quests are bottomless. In fact, it might even benefit the person to have to give it up when it doesn’t work with us & possibly might prompt them to re-examine that approach. Might spare a next victim from it.

      But It’s not only futile as far as ‘fixing’ it (or explaining it) for the other person, it is far too damaging & victimizing to oneself. It monopolizes one’s own influence for mostly that person’s possession, when one could be using it really helping others by real example.

      Being wise is compatible with being a good person. It helps by making one’s good motives effective, as well.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 years ago

      I am tickled pink with your comment.life always offers unexpected twists and turns that I never expect.I made a surprise hub for you. Trying to lift your spirits and heal you from the inside out. I am always motivated by your thoughts and your actions.I have a secret I haven't told a soul. When I am blue and things don't go my optimistic way. Which happens a lot I turn to anyone of your comments that you have left on any hub and close my eyes and try to see and think like you. I usually laugh and then tears fill up my eyes ...how beautiful it is to be so knowledgable and wise. I appreciate your allow the things you have done. Why can't more people be like you in the real world.One that I deal with every day.Instead their selfish, negative, rude, uncaring and many more words I never even let into my vocabulary. I have little time for them in my lifetime.I refocus on what I love and wish to see.My wife and I went to the movies and saw Tommorow Land. My wife thought I would like it. She knows me to well. I loved it.I relate to Casey so much. I would love you to see the movie, The gift to be able to share your ideas on the Big screen. For all dreamers to dream. The weather is sunny and cool here. Sending you a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers that light up in the dark. When they die they turn into pleasant thoughts that fill the room. That's all for now. Take care.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear DREAM ON ~ I’ve been thinking about you & wishing you well. I’ve been limited n my online activities after taking a bad tumble a couple of months ago which sprained both wrists. Still healing but much better. Just slower.

      You’re not guilty of clinging! You’re the most IN the moments person I know! If you choose to spend a bit of the ‘NOW” relishing all the glorious NOWs and their joy you've known, then that IS part of enjoying the NOW in progress!

      Thank you so much for your kind words & well-wishes!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      3 years ago

      Nellieanna, I am guilty on all counts.i find such incredible beauty in each moment how could ever bare to let it go. I internalize all my greatest feelings and relive them often. Once again you have excelled in making your point clear and precise. I am captivated by your words and your wonderful love for life. It's 4:40 in the morning and I wanted to beat the crowd and be the first to wish you a happy and healthy day.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      By the way - changing subjects - since I've been up, all that's on TV is about our weather. We've had some bizarre alternatively warm and very cold stuff for over a week (well, it's been sort of that way for much longer, but it's become much more contrasting on the cold side). A winter storm is moving rapidly from the west. Ft. Worth has been having dangerous roads and accumulation of snow for an hour or more, already producing highway accidents. It's now coming across Dallas. Just since I sat down at the computer, right after taking my trash can out for pickup, the patio is almost covered with a layer of snow and it's falling pretty furiously.

      Compared to northern climates, it's probability not too spectacular, but this is much less commonplace here. Some winters we get significant ice and snow, but it's usually not as long-lasting as it is 'up there', though it can be as devastating, if not more so due to its unfamiliarity.

      Some winters we get virtually no freezing precipitation; - but, then, some years we get virtually no precip of any kind! When I was 10 and witnessed seeing snow for the first time (it didn't even reach the ground before it melted), Mother told people, "Yes, but she's seen rain twice!" That was further south - in Del Rio.

      Here in North Texas, we've been in drought conditions for quite awhile. In fact. 2014 had a total rainfall for the year in single digits, = less than months in most areas and even in some of our own wetter years' records for some months. The lakes are low and water rationing is in place. It's not all that rare, unfortunately.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you, dear snakes! I'm honored to have occupied some of your contemplation.

      Haha - I love that visual. Throwing my bits and pieces of writing up like confetti and gathering them into stories depending on where they land. Has a lot of merit! haha.

      It's seemed like they've been where they might have landed over the years from being thrown up like confetti as it is; and here, I've been attempting to make some kind of order out of them! So much for left brain taking charge, huh? haha. You know, I am a designer and an expert seamstress. When planning and making a design, I often start by creating chaos, with fabrics, trims, sketches, all just every-which-way on the bed (which is the work surface in the guest room which doubles for sewing room). But once that phase is done, everything must be organized and 'straight' for the actual work, though at any point in which more creativity is needed, it's back to chaos. Then again, while working, it's order and when I walk away from it, it is always straight and easy to step back into it and resume. I've always been like that but it took awhile to decipher it and realize it's the way my right 51%-left 49% brain actually functions. It was a bit comforting to realize what it was and know I'm not just crazy. . . . or. . . . or. . . am I? haha. Another thing I know about myself is that, once I am ready to 'go' and do whatever the task or project is, there is no stopping me. I also know it's useless to try to force it unless it's just a 'tooly' task, but even those go better if I've reached the ready-to-go stage. Besides, during the procrastination time before starting, a lot of good things are going on, picking up more awareness, information, processing it and expanding. I am NEVER really passive or non-productive, even when it's relaxation, which often pervades even my most intense moments. I've even learned to like how I am. hahaha. I wonder if everyone has phases or moments of feeling like a bit of a stranger with whom to need to become acquainted and who can be a challenge at times?

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Oooo, I like your 'dreamlike quality' encapsulation, yes, yes, yes. So I've been thinking about you, and your writing, and your plan to write a novel. From where I'm standing you have so many pages already written. You could throw them up in the air like confetti and see where they land, and build a story around that. You have so much to work with, and so much of the work (the writing) already done...

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you, Vellur. Ah, yes - it can be difficult to let go, but it can result in more difficulty if we try to hang on when it's finished.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      3 years ago from Dubai

      Beautifully expressed! We have to let go event though it may be difficult at times.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you! It will require more dedication than it's gotten, though. haha! Was chatting with my daughter earlier tonight about memories of hers when we spent a year in Arizona when she was 7. She recalled things I didn't and vice-versa. It's another phase of another chapter in my life. Thinking of one's life in retrospect, though, it's amazing that one pieces the vivid -- or less vivid -- moments together from the forward perspective of remembering them, giving them a bit of a dream-like quality.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Good work!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Ah, Snakes - thank you. Yes, that occurred to me awhile back, so I began copying from my comments those excerpts which might serve that use into a folder containing several subfolders for reference at some point.

      The main folder has nearly 34 MB, with 734 items, more or less categorized, in it. So sorting it out will be quite a chore.

      Some are biographical, some just my philosophy or ideas, besides actual history and anecdotes, though.

      Then, of course, there is my poetry transcription folder, in which are far from all transcribed, but so far, there are 18 MB and 1618 poems in it. sigh. All of the poems are handwritten in various notebooks and physical folders. And there are various handwritten anecdotes, story starts and so forth.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Hi Nellieanna. I was thinking about all the 'stories' you've written in comments over the years here on Hub Pages. Any book you write especially a novel would be almost already written if you used these n'est pas?

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Oh, that's a good movie! I'm honored it reminded you of me. Yes, I'm good. :-)

      Yeah- working has its ups but the constancy of it can be a bit of a downer, especially involving getting out in wintry weather, I'm sure. sigh. It's not long till spring peeks through, hopefully!

      We are nearly 'live'! haha! I am about to go get ready for bed. It's so easy to stay up . . . !

      Hugs!

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Hey Nellieanna, we are almost live! I watched 'Driving Miss Daisy' with Jessica Tandy a couple of nights ago and thought of you...You sound good. I'm still grinding away at my job and wishing I was free!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Snakeslane, my dear! It was good of you to worry about me. Glad for both of us that it turned out well! Thank you.

      Yes, we February folks are a breed unto ourselves, aren’t we? I think it may take one to know one. It was wonderful to be married to one with George. Despite being from Venus and Mars in ways, there was an abiding true understanding. We just knew what each needed and it was no problem. I’ve read that even our Aquarius hair is quirky and in touch with universal forces! So not too surprising that we know how to make the most of our birthdays! I hope that yours is sparkling, too!

      I’ve been active in spite of the eye problems, but, shall we say, slower…. Being Wonder Woman just doesn’t come off for me so much now, - and I’m not too displeased about that. I can’t stay up all night, again and again, as I’ve done a lot during my life, in order to get so many things packed in to the time. I still hope to do a lot more things during this lifetime, yet I’m aware that some priorities are in order and that’s not too bad a prospect. Being my own care-giver, house-keeper, errand-runner, etc, etc., taking care of everything that gets taken care of takes a bite out of the days. But I truly love it and wake up each day really alive, so what the heck. I will get done what I get done. Maybe my biographers will have to tidy up all the notes! haha.

      Thank you, and hope it's a happy whole birthday month for you! Hugs!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Ed, it would be difficult to adequately describe you in one word, but if needed, it could be ‘likable’, though, I suppose that word is more about my response to you than actually descriptive of and ‘about’ you. In that light, it could be more descriptive to say ‘deep’, ‘complicated’ or, in yet another light, - (a combination of my response and what I observe about you), it could be ‘clear’, if only because I relate to many of the things you describe about yourself.

      It is not natural for me to feel ‘lonely’ though I’ve been alone a LOT from childhood on. I love people, but require my solitude and space. Solitude cannot be a curse when it’s so vital to my being.

      I feel anger toward things going amiss more than toward people’s peccadilloes. Like you, I prefer to keep those flareups between me and the recalcitrant things, not including it to others.

      Perhaps that you may not always feel comfortably solitary IS because you take the ‘brunt’ of things going wrong upon yourself as your responsibility. Of course, those kinds of things may be, sometimes. Yet one can learn from them without assuming their brunt and burden negatively; - at least I think that’s possible and valid. But I may just be insensitive or too objective. There’s honestly so little point in it. The old adage about not crying over spilt milk makes sense. In my early training, mishaps were taken fairly matter-of-factly and fixing the blame wasn’t the major objective, though I was guided to see ways to make things right if they’d malfunctioned and I’d contributed to the malfunction. haha.

      Perhaps you haven't confided in people because you've only slight need to. Perhaps you realize that seldom would it resolve anything and that one must be one’s own best, and most available confidante. Perhaps it would seem an imposition to 'lay stuff’' on others in the process of tangle-resolving. It can be helpful to run some things by someone else, but in the resolving stages, taking care of them is personal. At least, that's my experience. Once resolved, it may have value to articulate it for myself or for someone else’s benefit. Being communicators prompts us to -articulate.

      So, the fact that you’ve evolved into the confident, independent, capable, cheerful, likable 60-year-old man you are seems like an excellent outcome, Ed! Choices are always followed by follow-up choices to be made in the present as we live it, so it's not written in stone. We’re not totally ‘stuck’ with any which can’t be at least mitigated by upgrading choices, if we are alert and aware of opportunities and embrace them. I hope you know how valuable you are!

      Now that is amazing that we have similar eye situations. The additional macular growth on your good eye is certainly a major concern, I'm sure. I definitely know the pressure of having one's one seeing eye at risk. But I think I'd trust my ophthalmologic surgeon with even that and I'm sure yours is equally good. I'll have you in my prayers. One thing that's with us February Babies is that we're up to whatever comes! You bet! I think a lot about how just being here proves that in my case. My earliest prognoses were not all that promising and some of the chapters didn't read too well, either. But, dang, we February kids are indefatigable!

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      3 years ago

      Nellieanna , I also am in for cataract surgery very soon and also have one good eye and one not so good , in my good eye I am also experiencing a macular growth that is affecting my vision - that of which is on the retina of the eye ! I have my appointments all lined up for april for the cataracts and the other operation will involve invasive surgery to my one good eye itself , I don't even want to think about that one . just what is it with us February Babies ? lol

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Hi Nellieanna (and friends) I am glad the birthday month is going well. It's my birthday month too so I totally get it. There's something quirky about us February babies. When it gets to be our turn we like to make it last. lolol. Such good news about the Posterior Capsulotomy rather than the dreaded cataract surgery. That is a birthday gift! I was worried about you cause I hadn't seen you for awhile, but here you are having a birthday party that lasts for days oh wise woman from deep in the heart of Texas. Your buoyant mood is refreshing.

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      3 years ago

      Oh I am so happy that the birthday girl still smiles , ! We who" smile and turn those other cheeks ", when we are upset somehow are certainly asking for trouble down the road . I went through a long spell of taking out all my life frustrations on myself , for way too long . I might be working alone in the barn , on my tractor or building a piece of colonial furniture , and something would go amiss , usually something about my mood or my day and kaboom , I would throw my drill or smash something I was working on . I have always been the hardest on myself and yet I always figured , why should my negative moods or my bad days allow me to hurt others ? No, I am a solitary man , not always comfortably so though .

      I also realize now that my solitude was always a self inflicted curse , no matter how lonely I could get , I knew not how to lower my guard enough to quite simply trust another to confide MY feelings , my needs . The solitary life for some of us from childhood on I'm sure , is a special curse ! LOL Yet as a sixty year old man , I have evolved into more of a self confident , somewhat solitary Mr. nice guy , one who at least is happy with most of my choices anyway ! It's very nice "catching up with you my beautiful friend !

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear Ed! I can easily envision you in the easy, cheerful listener role and as the rock and the anchor. It is an admirable person to be, but it can be demanding at times and people can grow to EXPECT you to just ‘be there’ for them, often without too much regard for how it may impact your own time and life issues. When one has a natural ability to see things from others’ perspectives, to be non-judgmental, but still helpful when asked for advice & opinions, -- when one possesses all those qualities, people gravitate to one and it’s difficult to refuse them.

      As you worded it, very descriptively, you almost feel that you’re stealing time just to BE, & to have contemplation time for what is important to you, so that it feels almost selfish.

      Well, here’s something I’ve learned; no, I’ve internalized it! If one takes care of everyone else and doesn’t take care of one’s own self, then one’s energies are depleted without being restored & replenished adequately. If you love solitude, as I do, that is essential to your very being. You needn’t apologize or feel selfish about the need to maintain and to restore yourself. Fact is, no one else will offer you that sustenance, especially those who benefit from your being there for them and being their rock. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t provide you with what you and you alone know you need and have within your own being.

      I speak from experience - both ways. I’ve tried not taking what I need of my own time and attention, and it just doesn’t work. Plus recipients are bottomless pits, because what the need can only come from within themselves. Wanting to get it from someone else is a neurotic need that can never really be filled. A friend once told me that if I allowed her to prop me up, neither of us could move! Oh, there are little ways we can encourage and keep each other company through trying times, but ultimately, we have to do the work ourselves.

      Now I know what I need and to allow myself to have it. If it makes for being a bad person, so be it. But each person born into the world will always have that one person, the self, for which to be totally responsible. Learning to portion oneself and one’s time in such a way as to be able to keep that responsibility tended is the only way to really do it and to have some more for giving others a boost. But ultimately, they have to find their own inner resource, or they’ll be dependent and insecure. And otherwise, one’s health suffers so that one becomes someone else’s burden or just sad and uncared for.

      It’s good to love the ‘in the moment’ of living, because it’s the only reality of living. Yet many people ignore it and are lost in times that don’t exist. They get so lost in them that they literally devalue the moment of life as it happens, because it’s always ‘just the now’. Somehow we’re conditioned to think it’s second-rate. Some people even try to make it seem that someone who recognizes that this is "it" and values it for itself is somehow shallow or even sinful. haha. It’s like they’re not serious enough or something.

      Years ago I came up with a personal motto which has produced a similar negative reaction when I mentioned it: “If it can’t be fun, why do it?”. WELL! My older brother was horrified & sure I was definitely a flippety-gibbet, more than ever. Roars he, “OH, everything is not fun! There are serious things one must do!”, (as if I didn’t know that!) He knew me so little that 1) he didn’t bother to find out more about my statement; 2) he assumed it was a shallow, hedonistic idea; 3) if he’d known me and my actual life record at all, instead of keeping me in the ‘baby sister’ slot in his mind, he’d have understood that what it meant was that one must invest oneself in things one must do, to make them more pleasant - by attitude and by investing genuine interest in those things.

      For me, finally, though, it does mean that, ultimately, if it’s truly miserable and impossible to make better, then possibly one shouldn’t be doing it! A life full of doing dreary things is at least partly a choice and a poor one. Of course, it’s best if one can have make early choices which haven’t trapped one in really bad situations. But even then, it can be lived more cheerfully rather than more gloomily; and perhaps, it can be changed without abandoning it. But, after all, it is this one life and it’s one’s responsibility (ability-to-respond) so as to make it as truly worthwhile and positive as possible. We’ve seen people with similar limitations in their lives, and yet one is a grumpy, unpleasant dreary person poisoning the very air around him/her, while the other is a ray of sunshine and cheer for self and others, being truly thankful for each new day, - in spite of the limitations. That doesn’t ‘just happen’. The limitation are like ‘givens’. The attitudes are made by the people to whom the limitations were given. People make it one way or the other in all situations of life: “making it fun”, (or not) in other words.

      My eldest sister once said, “There is nothing so selfish as a totally unselfish mother.” One must weigh the effects of one’s actions on the recipients, not just how good it makes one feel and how much honor it brings one.

      Yes, there were and are many “small if not private smiles that reflectively tell us (me), yes, we (I) are/am winning!” I am sure you know exactly what kinds of moments those are. Just noticing some beautiful little detail or thinking of something special and good — all those kinds of things. My birthday definitely had many of those. I still smile to myself about them.

      Hugs ~

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      3 years ago

      Nellieanna , I understand exactly how you feel and what you meant , , I do love the "in the moment " of living , in fact now more than ever . Funny , I find myself worrying less and less about how others see me though , I was and am always the easy smile , the easy going nature , the great listener , the patient one and believe it or not the "rock" that everyone that I to know seemingly needed to anchor themselves in the inevitable anxieties of living day to day . I took selfish pleasure in hearing that, on occasion too ! I don't mean to brag at all but it seemed I was the anchor even for my parents !

      I do find that in the lest couple of years though , I have been finding myself stealing more and more precious moments and hours in solitude , and it is a bit selfish too , I know . It's a bit selfish ,but I di feel somewhat cheated and sometimes in no small way, by those very same qualities of living as "a decent guy , a good friend , a great listener , a rock " , Oh well , It's good to vent once in a while too isn't it ? lol . Anyway , You're birthday !

      I hope that it was filled with those small if not private smiles that reflectively tell us , yes , we are winning ! Peace and love birthday girl !

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      My dear Snakeslane, not to worry! I always love to string it out all February! Nothing belated about your greeting. It’s quite timely and much appreciated. The birthday thing is in full progress around here! My den is full of flowers, lovely cards and good cheer. George’s birthday was Feb. 13 so it was customary to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out the birthday cheer most of the month. Old habits, especially pleasant ones, tend to reemerge on schedule. ;-)

      Also, the happy results of my scheduled ophthalmologist's appointment on my actual birthday were the best birthday gift. I'd dreaded the possible need for another cataract surgery on my one seeing eye. But it was unnecessary. He fixed the problem with a laser treatment called a Posterior Capsulotomy. I was able to drive myself home after a short time to allow the various eye drop effects to wear off.

      It’s always my pleasure to hear from you, dear lady. Hugs and many thanks. Hope all is well with you and yours.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Hello, John (bigj1969)! I’m so delighted to see you visiting my hub. Thank you and also for those kind words.

      I just reviewed your Hubpage profile! You’ve been a busy prolific writer! Good for you! I must check out some of your works. They sound most interesting! Thank you for sharing all the information about them.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear Ed ~ What a sweet, poignant comment. You express so much feeling I share. I love your ramblings and your beautiful poetic works.

      But perhaps I have not quite clarified what I mean by letting go if it seemed to involve forgetting one’s precious memories or even, alternately, trying to look to the future. We can choose to think and even to feast upon our precious past experiences which were living moments in their time; or to anticipate our future possibilities which hopefully will be wonderful present moments when and if they arrive. These are choices of thoughts we can and do make for our present moment and how we wish to invest it. It’s a precious part of being human to be able to do so. It only becomes a problem when we cling to the past and/or try to substitute the future anticipation for real living time so that these non-existent states are literally regarded as reliving or pre-living ‘for real’ times, and, worse - when we begin to prefer them to the real moments of our life in the present.

      Our present moments invested in nostalgia and wishful future planning can even distract from and overshadow the precious, rather fleeting moments of actual living present. It’s a common tendency to allow them to gradually do so that we it may require consciously making it a point to not let it happen to insure that the only time which provides LIVE moments is fully experienced. That is the moment in which we can actively participate so as to determine it as it's happening and in which we can be surprised by how it develops since it is the real living moment, each time as it is happening.

      So letting go of any sense that past or future are actually being lived as we reminisce or anticipate them is vital for experiencing one’s life which must be lived. Neglecting it or letting thoughts of times past or future absorb it is like having a treasure in one’s hand and letting it melt or fall away while grabbing for the mist which has no substance. It is comforting and feels safer to think about what is already ‘done’ and can no longer surprise or disappoint, or to envision the future so it seems less insecure and more fixed than the unknown actually can be, - even if we’re painting it in dreary colors so that we can feel that, at least, we won’t be caught off-guard. But, in truth, it is unknown and out of our control except when we actually meet it as the present and have that opportunity to live it as well as it deserves to be lived. If we’ve become accustomed to spending the present dwelling on past or future, though - we miss that golden opportunity to live that exact moment.

      Oh, yes. Well I know that awareness of being left when so many friends and family have passed on. I’ve becine the sole survivor in my own natal family and am the only member of our generation remaining in my late husband’s family. For a girl who has always been regarded as the baby sister, this is an odd position. All of my long-life friends are passed on or have become seriously debilitated. My eldest grandchild died last August at age 38. I’m made aware of the preciousness of life while it’s in progress, which can only be experienced and shared as it’s happening in its living moments. But I’m most grateful for the loving memories of times spent with them.

      Speaking of living, loving moments, yes,you’re right. I’ve now completed 83 years plus several days of them! It’s great to be here and alive now! Thank you for the Happy Birthday. It is very much so, dear old buddy! Hugs.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Oh Nellieanna! I missed your birthday....Happy belated, happy year!

    • bigj1969 profile image

      John Marshall 

      3 years ago from glasgow

      Beautiful hub Nellieanna,your writing is always fantastic.joy to read.

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      3 years ago

      So my beautiful friend ! I am told that I'm not good about letting go of the past , and I do know that's one of the healthy wealthy and wise ways of life ! But Nellieanna I am so much like my Dad ! Old fashioned , a romantic , a bit stoic and blue at times , you name it I've been through the wash cycle a couple of times too ! LOL , I have reached a point in life where I've as many friends and family gone as I have here . I do realize the health factor of looking to our tomorrows as well and yet , for me , there is so much meaning in the past that I just don't always want to let go . I have so many good memories , as well as not so good . I believe that the humility and the pride of growing up poor , of still appreciating so many little things that mattered only to us , to me and no one else . Oh , I'm rambling tonight , in mind ,spirit and soul ! That's what happens when I listen to piano sonata's in solitude ! LOL , anyway , do I hear A Happy Birthday may be in order !......Your old buddy Ed

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Pamela! Thank you so much for visiting my hub and leaving such lovely comments! This is a theme that matters a lot to me, has found its place among my personal tenets of living life. One can't drag or lug everything along the path, or soon it slows one down and finally stops! Recognizing when it's not wise or useful to keep hanging on is the challenge~! Such a long life as I've already lived accumulates a lot and it includes even some of my parents' keepsakes. But at least I can consider letting go of things which really have exhausted their own reason to be! haha.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      3 years ago from Sunny Florida

      O love the theme through your beautiful words. You never disappoint. This is another lovely poems with the perfect pictures. It is always a joy to read what you write. Have a blessed day.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Hugs - I'm praying for you and your sister.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Thanks Nellieanna! You are so understanding!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Oh, my, what an ordeal! I can only imagine how dreadful that was to be alone and virtually helpless. That crawling, even up stairs, must have been so painful. Thank heavens she was able to get to the phone to call for an ambulance. Whew.

      My friend, Val, who is several years older than I, fell when alone at home and had to crawl to the front door to unlock it so her daughter could get in & to her after she managed to call her. She didn't have any broken bones, but it was a horrendous experience.

      Well, I'm glad your sister's husband & son got home to be there so quickly when she was going through the surgery. Of course, taking life a day at a time is the only realistic way to take it. It 'feels' like she's in good hands and will be all right. I'm relieved for you that you KNOW how it happened and how she's doing.

      Take care and think positively! Hugs.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Nellieanna, I am relieved now that I've heard the story from the horses mouth. It was a traumatizing experience for her (my sister). She was alone in the house when it happened and took her an hour and a half to crawl from the garage stairs, up through length of hallway to the phone in the kitchen where she was somehow able to call for ambulance. Now she is being catered to by hubby (who was just flying back from trip to China with their son when it happened, but showed up at hospital the next day to see her through surgery) and taking life one day at a time.

      I feel like I know George, Wow, Aquarians all.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      I'm so glad that there's good news! I know you can barely wait to talk to her. Yes, your friend, Lilian, is determined. But it's what we must be.

      Yes, my George was also Aquarian, Feb. 13th. He would be 93 on his next birthday.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Wow Nellieanna, that's quite a story, Ouch! I just heard from my brother-in-law minutes ago. He said she's doing alright, sleeping a lot (pain killers), and he wheels her out for sessions on the computer. Says I can call tomorrow am to talk to her. Feel better hearing back from them. I know my friend Lillian recovered fully from a broken leg this past year, I was impressed with her determination (she's 83).

      Aquarius eh, me too (Feb 17). Not giving my age lol.

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      I hadn't heard about the Gabriel Garcia Marquez collection. What a treasure! Thank you for telling me about it. The university is in Austin, and I don’t get there often, but it would be worth a trip.

      I feel sure your sister will be all right, though it will be a lengthy healing, no doubt. One of the many bones I broke as a kid was my right leg from ankle nearly to knee, at age 7. Doctors didn't expect me ever to be able to walk on it normally. I was in a cast a long time but it was still crooked when the cast came off. Mother refused to accept the dire prediction and took me to a chiropractor, who taught her how to 'massage' it (I use that word loosely) by putting all her weight on it several times a day, pushing it toward the right configuration . Was excruciatingly painful, but my bones were soft enough to respond favorably and it did straighten & left me with no effects of the injury.

      How it happened is one of my most vivid childhood memories, as well. A southern colonial house in our neighborhood was being built. The tall columns for the front required deep foundation holes, about 8 or so feet deep and 3 or so feet in diameter. All the holes were completed except one, which was only 2 or 3 feet deep. One late afternoon, neighborhood kids were playing around the site and some decided it would be fun to run and jump in the shallow hole and scream for help, - that it was a deep one. I was always younger than my peers, so silly little Nellieanna misjudged & ran & jumped into a deep one! It was dirty, dark, and I couldn't move my leg. I screamed and screamed, but the kids thought it was the game for awhile. Finally, after not finding me in the shallow hole, they found me down in that pit. There was a ladder lying around which they put down in the hole but, of course, I couldn't climb it. I was so scared.

      Del Rio has always had a large Hispanic population, but then there were virtually no blacks there then. I don't think I'd ever really seen a black person, in fact. But somehow the kids must have seen a black man walking along the street & gotten him to come help me, because the next thing I knew, he'd climbed down the ladder and carried me out and to our neighbors', with whom I was staying while my parents were at the ranch on business. It was a frequent experience of mine from when I started school till they decided to send me to a boarding school for my senior year in High School. Up till then, since I was in school and couldn't go with them, I was just 'farmed out' to friends in town during those times. This was one of those times!

      I never knew the name of that man who rescued me, nor saw him again. I honestly thought he was a guardian angel. I'm still not sure about it.

      I'm happy for you that it is the weekend! I still get a good feeling out of 'Fridley", as George used to call it, when it heralds in the weekend free of formal work. I'm sure it is especially welcome to you when it's snowy and so cold! Enjoy the break from it and stay warm inside as much as possible.

      As I say, our weekend highs are to be in the mid to high 70s; but Monday, the high will be only in the 40s, though they're not predicting any sub--freezing lows this time and the temperature will gradually moderate. We had a week of freezing temperature this month, though, following a weekend with highs in the 80s! I was so glad I got my outdoor faucets and hoses secured while it was warm instead of waiting till the evening before the freeze was forecast as I usually do! Getting up and down from ground level has become something of a challenge, and that job involves that! haha. I'll be 83 Feb. 2nd, though, so am thankful to be as agile as I am and am trying to stay so.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      3 years ago from Canada

      Hi Nellieanna, thanks for thinking of my sister, really worried about her.

      Just found this tidbit on twitter: The University of Texas now owns the archives of Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Wow!

      We had a little snow today and freezing temps arghhhh.

      Thank Goddess it's Friday!

    • Nellieanna profile imageAUTHOR

      Nellieanna Hay 

      3 years ago from TEXAS

      Indeed our notes do seem to be playing tag!

      I'm so sad to hear about your sister's broken ankle and that you can't get to her. Broken bones are not fun. As I kid, I was always breaking some. But that five-hour route through icy, snow-covered mountain passes would not be wise! I'm sure she wouldn't want you risking it. You should be cautious, for sure. I'm honestly being cautious by staying away from crowds, teeming with too much stress and probable germs and viruses. There is nothing I want to buy worth the battles at the malls. I don't have to get into all that, so I'm not going to.

      When we have icy, snowy road conditions here, the crews are getting wiser about handling them, but drivers are quite unwise, on the whole.

      In Del Rio, where I was born - (down on the Mexican border) - I didn't see any snow till I was about 10, when it didn't stick. I was amazed, because I'd figured it must come down by the bucket-full, to cover the ground. haha. Mother liked to say that I'd just seen my first snow but that I'd already seen rain twice. ;-)

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