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Open Letter to the Coors Brewing Company

Updated on June 28, 2016

© by Shyron Shenko

6/26/2016

Coors Brewing Company

Golden, Colorado 80401


To whom it may or may not concern:

June 20th, 2016 at the Walmart, in Lewisville, Texas. I bought the pack of beer unrefrigerated for my hubby who suddenly had a craving for one. I do not have enough room in my refrigerator to put the whole package and must put it in the pantry.

My confession

This is to inform you that the pet snake you so graciously included in the Coors Light 12 pack of 16 ounce cans has expired (not the beer, it is supposed to be good to September 2016) it is the snake I am talking about.


I always believed that all snakes are deadly, poisonous or not. I thought if I should encounter one close enough to bite, even if it did not bite me, I would die of a heart attack. You taught me that I was wrong. For that I thank you.


I put the package of beer on its end with the two slots for a handle on the side and when I began to open up the end to remove a couple to refrigerate, the pet snake you enclosed poked its head outside, it smiled at me and slithered down the side.


I tried to catch it by the tail as it slithered by and underneath the battery operated broom between the bristles of the beater bar to hide. When it poked it’s head out on the other side, that is when I sprayed him with the ant spray and Mr./Mrs. snake backed up inside,


I really did not mean to kill it but did not want to share the beer and have a drunken snake running round in here.


Dragging the battery operated broom outside, and opened it up to see if the snake was inside. It was not in the catch basket, but I could see it pulsating on the bar and I shook it out, and thought that with fresh air it would revive, it fell out on the sidewalk and its mouth was open wide gasping for one last


breath of air. It must have taken a beating by the beater bar as I rolled the broom across the floor to get it out the door. By the time I picked it up and got it in a jar, the poor pet snake was dead.


Next time you enclose a bonus pet in your packs of beer, please do not surprise us, and tell us what kind of pet we can expect to see. And tell us if you please, what it likes to eat and if it is poisonous or not, if it’s one we’d like to keep.


Worms in Tequila

Worms in tequila is something that I hear, but I don’t think I care to see another snake packaged with my beer.

Sincerely

Shyron E. Shenko

P.S. it is about 6 inches long and brown and with a white underbelly and has a pointed nose.

The bruised and battered body of the snake
The bruised and battered body of the snake | Source

© 2016 Shyron E Shenko

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    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 3 months ago from Texas

      Au fait, thank you for thank you for the comments.

      I somehow sensed it was not poisonous and tried to catch it by the tail.

      Hope all is well with you

      Blessings and Hugs

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 months ago from North Texas

      Just goes to show it doesn't always pay to be a stowaway.

      So glad this adventure turned out well and that the snake didn't bite you and wasn't poisonous, etc. Snake didn't live long enough to start a new line of snakes by mixing with the local snakes either.

      Expect this could happen in conjunction with a lot of different products from different places. Have heard of tarantulas being included with fresh bananas . . .

      Hope you and John are both well and relaxing as much as possible. Blessings dear friend . . . take care . .

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 5 months ago from Texas

      Thank you Raine, for the compliment. I think you are a beautiful person.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Raine Sky profile image

      T S Sky 6 months ago from Saint Louis, MO.

      You are welcome Shyron. You are a beautiful person. xoxo

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 6 months ago from Texas

      That is what I thought, but when it happened I actually tried to grab it by the tail, this story is really true the whole thing.

      Blessings my friend

    • Raine Sky profile image

      T S Sky 6 months ago from Saint Louis, MO.

      Oh wow that would have scared me so bad

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 7 months ago from Texas

      Patricia, thank you for the comment, and a special thank you for the Angels. I am so glad you found this funny. It was funny. I always said if I came face to face with a snake I would die of a heart attack, but I was not scared at all, in fact I really did try to pick it up by the tail before it went under the battery operated broom. When I spoke with the person from Coors she was reading this open letter we were laughing so hard.

      Angels returning with lots of Blessings and hugs dear friend.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 7 months ago from sunny Florida

      O my...what a surprise...not one I would wish to share....never a dull moment is there?

      Needed a little funny this evening...thanks, Shyron...

      Angels are once again on the way ps

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 10 months ago from Texas

      Au fait, thank you for the comment and sharing this again.

      Yes Coors sent me a letter saying I needed to call them, and give them the sku#, bar code# and the numbers on the bottom off the cans, which I did and they sent me a check for the cost of the beer.

      I hope all is well with you my dear friend.

      Blessings and hugs.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 10 months ago from North Texas

      Think about this story every once in a while and wonder how things have come out. Thought you said Coors had phoned you or contacted you somehow and never heard how that came out . . sharing . . .

      Hope all is well. Take care . . .

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 10 months ago from Texas

      Linda, I hope Coors did not include a snake with your beer

      They are fond of doing that I fear

      And I will worry about you

      Until I from you I hear

      That you have emptied the carton of all the beer

      *

      *

      Thank you so much for the visit, and comments, I really appreciate you.

      Blessings and hugs to you always dear friend.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 10 months ago from Orlando, FL

      OMG. I bought an 18 pack of Coors Light bottles today and I am not sure I want to open that box up!!! But if a snake happens to slither out, I will let you know. Ewwww!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Shauna, thank you for reading the true story of the pet snake sent by the Coors Brewing Company. If anyone had told me I would have thought that I would be freaked out also, but I wasn't even scared and tried to pick it up without a thought that it could bite. I doubt they would give much, they will say that it happened in the Walmart store. I

      Blessings and hugs my dear friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Au fait, thank you for the comment and for sharing.

      The are sending something in the mail maybe a voucher to get more beer.

      I hope all is well with you. I feel so put down by HP I had another hub done to publish tonight, I will not play their mine games and never publish with this kind of Hubber score.

      Blessings and hugs dear friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Peggy, thank you for the comment, we do not drink that much but hubby had a taste for it, that is why I bought it. It was funny afterwards and that is what I told them in this letter when I sat down to write them and tell them about it. This is the actual letter that I mailed to them.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 11 months ago from Houston, Texas

      We may not even drink a six pack of beer in an entire year. We prefer wine. But the next time we ever purchase beer I will be thinking of this! Yikes! You certainly created a funny hub out of this. Funny and yet..........!

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 11 months ago from North Texas

      Wondering how your phone conversation with Coors came out . . .

      Sharing of course.

      Hope you got some free beer. Especially if you're out in this awful heat. Blessings dear friend. Hope all is well there.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 11 months ago from Central Florida

      Shyron, I would have totally freaked out if this happened to me! You handled it well. Is Coors going to give your husband a year's supply of beer (sans snake)?

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Thank you for the comment Pat. No hubby is not a bottle baby, can't do the hard stuff with only one kidney, he is my honey bunny as in "Countdown to a miracle."

      Blessings my friend.

    • profile image

      Pat Mills 11 months ago from East Chicago, Indiana

      Seems like it might be time to make your husband a bottle drinker. You might have a better shot at quality control that way.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Frank, thank you for the comment, I do appreciate you.

      I do not like flies in my soup

      Or a snake with my beer

      I don't like bees in my bonnet

      Buzzing in my ear

      But they inspire interesting sonnets

      At least that is what I hear

      *

      *

      Blessings and Hugs dear friend

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Dear Sweet Cathy, thank you for reading and leaving a comment. I don't think I will buy anything that is packaged in a way that will allow a critter to get in.

      Blessings and Hugs Dear Friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Dear Beautiful Theresa (Faith Reaper) thank you for the comment.

      I would have thought like you and had a heart attack

      But, it did give me time to react

      Or time to lament

      And to get it out of my house

      You can bet, I was hell-bent.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Thank you Peg, for the visit and your comment,

      (LOL) I am glad you took my subtle hint

      To check the bags and boxes

      Where the critters can hide

      And I would not want someone I care about to get bitten

      If they stuck their hand inside

      *

      *

      Blessings and Hugs dear friend

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 11 months ago from Shelton

      fly in my soup, why not a snake with your beer.. The letter was a clever idea... Coors probably did get a kick out of it... even low down dirty snakes drink their beer...:)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Hello Cat, I thought that I would freak out too if a snake got close, but there was no time for that kind of reaction when I came face to face in my house in my package of beer. This shoots holes in my "We Will Win Sometime" hub, about never winning anything.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Au fait, thank you for the comment, and for sharing.

      I did make a copy of this article including the URL so they can see it's published and check it out and posted it on Coors website. They can't pay me enough to take it down unless it BIG!

      I replied to your comment earlier but do not see the post anywhere.

      Blessings and hugs dear friend .

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Maria, I love your comment,

      It would have been a pain in the asp

      Had it bit me there

      But it did not bite me anywhere

      I am just glad it did not get away

      *

      *

      Blessings and hugs Beautiful Maria

    • profile image

      Cathy Strathmann 11 months ago

      Thanks for sharing LOL. While I laughed through the entire story I still have the "creeps" and will never buy a case of anything again ;)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 11 months ago from southern USA

      Oh, my, goodness, Shyron ...I would have had a heart attack right Then and there! I'm terrified of any kind of snake. I'm glad you are okay and able to relay this in such a humourous manner.

      I think you and your hubby deserve free Coors for life ...snake free.

      Blessings, sweet and brave woman

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Audrey, thank you so much for the comment.

      Blessings and Hugs dear friend

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Thank you so much for the comment.

      I am with you Larry,

      Each one has their place

      As long as they don't take up my space

      Even Beer is not exactly to my taste.

      Have a blessed snake free, beer time day.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 11 months ago from California

      Yikes!!! I love your humor here, but yikes!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 11 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      What a pain in the asp this must have been, dear Shyron.

      After reading this, I think we all need a drink... :)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Dana, I am so glad it was me and not you

      Who found a snake wound up in the brew

      Hubby was cool and calm, didn't even get out of his chair

      When I told him "We have a snake in here!"

      He just replied, "well get it out of there"

      Where did it come from? he asked

      I will look and see, but right now it has to go

      When all was said and done

      It came from Colorado.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Flourish, thank you for the comment and I did post it on their fb page at your suggestion, and yes I did win, which blows my "We Will Win Sometime" out of the water.

      Blessings and hugs dear friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Ruby, Ruby my gem of a friend

      I'm sorry this gave you a fright

      And really happy this one did not bite

      And taking a break with an ice cold brew

      Is something I just cannot do

      And the wittle-bitty snake will not be forgotten at any rate

      But it's demise was it's own fate.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 11 months ago from Dallas, Texas

      Oh you are so funny! This was enjoyable, as well as eye-opening. I'll certainly be checking my groceries and beer for unwanted hitchhikers from now on.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Mel, thank you for the comment, I am glad this gave you a chuckle. No I don't think the offer has expired, they just pick the person at random.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Bill, I could not tell you what I thought when I first saw it, but for some reason, I had no fear. And I didn't mean to kill it.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      John (Jodah) thank you so much for the poem.

      So please be careful when in the case you peer

      And make sure a rattle you do not hear

      Just to quench your thirst for beer

      Turn the package upside down

      So in your beer it will not be found.

      *

      *

      Blessings my friend

    • cat on a soapbox profile image

      Catherine Tally 11 months ago from Los Angeles

      Sorry to hear your story. Yikes!! I would have totally freaked out as snakes unnerve me. I'm curious though how you would have expected Coors to prevent the incident. Warehouses do get critters, and they seek shelter where they can find it. The odds of this happening was like a lottery win. Oh, darn!

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 11 months ago from North Texas

      Does indeed look like people should inspect their cartons of beer carefully even before loading it into the shopping cart. What if it had been a poisonous model? And what if when you picked the carton of beer up off the grocery shelf it had bitten one of more of your fingers protruding through the 'handles' on the side of the carton? Yes, it could have been much worse. And if that scenario had happened with a poisonous snake, think of the horrible publicity Coors would have received.

      I hope you're sending Coors a copy of this recount of your adventure. If you think what bad publicity would cost them, it would be cheap to give you and John free beer for the rest of your days for surviving this event. I would make a copy of this article including the URL so they can see it's published and check it out. They may pay you more to take it down than HP is paying you to keep it up!

      Sharing.

      Hope you and John are surviving the heat. To be 100 in a few days. Blessings dear friend. So glad it wasn't an aggressive poisonous snake. Take care . . .

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 11 months ago from Oklahoma

      I like Coors. I like snakes. But not together. I like the Coors in my fridge cold and ready for when I have some free time and the snakes outside in the woods getting rid of rats and mice:-)

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 11 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      I would have had a heart attack. You and your hubby will never look at Coors beer the same ever again.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Oh my, this gave me a fright

      I'm afraid of snakes, even if they don't bite

      To find one in a coors carton

      Would never, ever be forgotten

      I know you never meant to hurt the poor little snake

      So sit down, relax and take a brew break....Hee

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 11 months ago from USA

      You need to post this on their Facebook page. Funny but not for the snake. Looks like you won the prize.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 12 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm not deathly afraid of snakes, but I think in that situation, complete surprise, I might have had a heart attack. LOL

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image
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      Shyron E Shenko 12 months ago from Texas

      Mike, I put a few in the fridge, but could not relax, I had to empty the carton to make sure the snake did not have siblings tagging along.

      Thank you so much for the comments.

      Blessings always.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 12 months ago from San Diego California

      I like Coors, and I love snakes, but had I known they were giving away free reptiles I think I would have been a more loyal customer, instead of imbibing the ghetto Malt Liquor stuff from time to time. Do you think the offer has expired, or just the snake. This gave me a much needed chuckle.

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