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Paddy Irishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Englishman.

Updated on February 12, 2013
Fighting Irish
Fighting Irish

Growinig up in Northern Ireland as a young boy there was always a constant supply of jokes especially the Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman jokes.

Every week there would be a new one just as funny or if not funnier than the last, this is probably my favourites (mainly because it is the only two I can remember at the minute).

The Cave Monster

Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman were out playing football one day when Paddy Scotsman kicks the ball into a cave.

"Hold up" Paddy Englshman says "I will get it", so he heads into the cave and as he walks he hears a booming voice say "Come on down here till I eat ya". So he runs out of the cave, scared to bits and tells the other Paddys.

Paddy Scotsman says "I'm scared of nothing" and heads into the cave, a bit further down than Paddy Englishman got he hears the booming voice again "Come on down here till I eat ya". Paddy Scotsman sprints out of the cave shaking and tells the other two Paddys what happened.

Finally Paddy Irishman stands up and says "och would ya go away with ya" and heads down the cave. After a short while he hears the voice booming "Come on down here till I eat ya", Paddy Irishman doesn't flinch and keeps going. He finds their ball and can see a dark figure against the wall, as he wanders over he realises it is his little brother John Joe, Paddy Irishman asks, "what are ya doing in here?" to which his little brother replies "I can't get this bugger out of me nose".


The Airplane

Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman were all on an airplane together when one of the engines fails.
The pilot explains the situation to the all of the passengers and tells them they need to lose some weight otherwise they are all going to crash into the sea.

After thowing everything out of the plane that wasn't nailed down the pilot explains that it isn't enough and that they need to shed some more weight if they are to survive.

The co-pilot comes down to them and says, "as I am not needed I think I should be the first to sacrifice myself" and jumps out the open door.

The pilot comes over the intercom and says "we are still too heavy, more weight needs to be lost".

Paddy Scotsman stands up and says "as I am a brave scot I will do the bravest thing any man can do" and jumps out the door.

Again the pilot comes on over the intercom, "we have only a minute to go and are still too heavy, please for the love of god get rid of some more weight".

So the Irish man says 'well I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but I will do this for the greater good and for the glory of my country.
So he grabs the English man and throws him out the door.

This is only two of a hundred million Paddy Irishman jokes, so if you know any please feel free to share them and we can all have a good laugh.


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