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PastLove

Updated on March 27, 2016

Friendship is a interesting thing, We meet people out of the blue we get our daily routine going and wham we could be in line at the store and make a friend; or we can go out to parties and meet others through acquaintances, life is funny sometimes. In my case I met someone when I was very little; we met through our parents; someone I never would of thought I'd see a future with. We used to hang out at parties or have play dates and once we got older we grew apart. I even forgot he was in the same area as I but I was afraid that I would ruin my friendship if I hanged out with him in my teenage years. I was very afraid; He would invite me to the same pool we would swim in when we were younger and I just knew how things would end so why hang out with him three days before he leaves for work? I kept telling myself it will be fine that if it is meant we will hang out again but my other side always ruins my positivity. I am praying that we will end up together.

You ever felt a connection with someone you haven't seen for a while and once you meet up and start talking its like you never separated. Thats how this felt when I last saw him; we haven't spoken since our youth but This felt right! He is still a guy so I wont hear from him for a while since he is busy; its not like he goes after women like others do so I feel some what better; He is a nice guy just going after his dream. Traveling is a dream job and I am so happy for him. So its a cool experience I wish I thought of that. Lets travel back to the last time I saw him; we were texting on a Thursday we were suppose to hang out the day before but I was running errands but the next day at night I saw him he bought some beer and we were at Black Point at this spot he would hang with his high school peeps. It was ten thirty at night and it looked like it was earlier with the moon shinning bright and the view was beautiful. I felt so relaxed with him it was like a familiar feeling from the past and I felt so calm and free. I hope I can feel that way again. Everything felt perfect two friends rekindling their friendship a perfect moment for the books. All I can think now Is I wish I could travel in time and relive that scene all over again. I laugh now thinking how much I’ve wanted to fall in love with a childhood friend and this could be it; but maybe its just me; only in my imagination. I keep thinking would he ever fall for me? My mom use to tease his mom and say "Maybe one day we would be related'' how funny it would be to come true.

I never thought it would be him though. He is just the cutest he also into fitness as I so it all makes sense. Even to the music he likes I think I finally found my match. I just keep thinking of the last time I saw him when we came back from black point and we watched a movie at my house just being so nervous next to him and afraid of making a move. finally a guy making the move and as soon as he kissed me my stomach was in a knot; my heart fluttered and thats when I knew I liked him more than I thought. Now all I need is patience and one day he will come back to me. For now I will make myself better Love myself conditionally and let everything else fall into place.

God is a funny person he really does have our lives planned; he knows whats right in our lives. He must think of how spoiled I am when I get angry at him for not getting what I want but he knows my heart and talks to me saying its not time yet, you will find love but first fall in love with our relationship then everything else will make sense. Before I can truly be happy with my other half I need to be happy and closer to the man upstairs. Thats the plan for now and I will keep praying for this miracle. He has made me feel some type of way again and I wont let him down or doubt him again. The lord is so good and It took some time. To be honest I was skeptical about my life but for sure I see the bigger picture now to work it all together. Until then I'll keep you posted farewell lovers.

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