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Strange Things People Say

Updated on May 21, 2017
CJWood71 profile image

Chris has experienced many ups and downs in life and learned from an early age to see the humor in the world around him.

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Did I Hear that Correctly?

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation when suddenly the other person says something so out there that you are unable to respond? You simply nod your head and continue listening, all the while pondering what they were even talking about. No matter what your reaction, the certainty is that you will never forget the conversation. So, with that in mind I offer up this collection of humorous remarks and statements from my own personal coversations over the years.

Stolen Meat and Pockets?

A few years back, I was having a generic conversation with a co-worker, just random small talk while there was a slow time on the job. Out of the blue he offered up this timeless piece of advice, "never put stolen meat in your pocket". I had never contemplated such action, but looking back I imagine that it is good advice to follow.

Looks Like We Are In For Some Weather

I was looking at the morning paper, scanning the weather report and was shocked to read the day's forecast. It actually said "showers in the morning, followed by widely scattered weather". Well that sure seems a little vague, but nobody will be able to say the forecast was incorrect.

Alaska is an Island

I know what you are thinking, I was surprised when I heard this one myself. I was talking with a co-worker and she remarked how odd it was for Alaska to be so cold. When I replied that Alaska was way up North, next to the Canadian Yukon, the look on her face was shock.

"Alaska is an Island off the coast of California", she exclaimed, "right next to Hawaii". At this point, it was me wearing the look of shock. As proof to this she reached into her purse and pulled out a pamphlet for a cell phone provider. Pointing to the coverage map, she said "see, Alaska and Hawaii are islands next to California"! I explained that Alaska and Hawaii were too far away to fit on the map in scale, so they included them in boxes off to the side. I still have no idea if she believed me.

Where Do the Spark Plugs Go?

Awhile back, a friend of mine had decided to do a tune-up on his car, so he went out and bought all the supplies he would need. A few days later, I asked him how the tune-up was coming along and he replied that it was going fine, but he did have one question.

"I am not sure where these spark plugs go", he stated. Now I admit this would not seem such a crazy thing to say, certainly there are many people who do not know anything about fixing cars, except this friend was enrolled in school to become an auto mechanic. Talk about an ill fated career choice.

How Did You Go Down the Ramp so Slow?

At my workplace, we sometimes have to move products down a ramp from the shipping dock. This is normally done using a pallet jack, pretty basic stuff when working in a warehouse. At least that is what I thought.

The other day I took a pallet down the ramp and when I arrived at the bottom, a coworker with twenty years experience asked me how i kept the jack from gaining too much speed going down the ramp. He looked at me with amazement when I told him that I used the brake. It seems all these years he had been free wheeling down the ramp, unaware that pallet jacks have brakes.

That Looks Like The Leaning Tower Of Rome!

Another one from work. A couple of coworkers were stacking boxes on a pallet to be shipped out and it was leaning a little to one side. A third coworker walked past, laughed and said it "looked like the leaning tower of Rome". Apparently they have more than one leaning tower in Italy.

There Is Humor All Around, All You Need To Do Is Pay Attention

Life offers up moments to laugh every day. If you take the time to stop, look and listen, you will find yourself laughing your way through the day. It is all in how we view the things taking place around us.

© 2012 Christopher J Wood

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    • Greensleeves Hubs profile image

      Greensleeves Hubs 

      2 years ago from Essex, UK

      I guess some of these are just unfortunate manglings of the English language - people saying things they really didn't mean to say, and some are a case of abject lack of knowledge.

      I know colleagues at the hospital where I work, who thought Africa was a country, and Brazil was in Europe. (I should say their medical knowledge was fortunately greater than their geographical knowledge!)

      Speaking of geography, the idea of Alaska next to Hawaii is mindboggling - a subtropical destination in the Arctic Circle maybe? You could say - to take another of your examples - that Alaska must have a lot of weather. Not sure Hawaiian grass skirts would catch on though, leastways not in the winter months.

      However, I must pull you up on one other example - although Rome, to the best of my knowledge, doesn't have a leaning tower, there ARE actually several other leaning towers in Italy besides Pisa. I've even seen one myself on the island of Burano near Venice, where a church bell tower leans; I think Italy's ancient master builders must have learned their trade building sand castles - maybe on the beaches of Alaska! :) Alun

    • CJWood71 profile imageAUTHOR

      Christopher J Wood 

      5 years ago from Florida, USA

      Yeah, I hear Alaska has some nice beaches. I still get a laugh about that one. Thanks for reading and commenting John MacNab, it is appreciated!

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 

      5 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      I think I'll move up to Alaska. Nice one CJ.

    • CJWood71 profile imageAUTHOR

      Christopher J Wood 

      5 years ago from Florida, USA

      Thank you for the kind comments KevinC9998, I appreciate you taking the time to read my hub. It is always good to be able to laugh about the things around us.

    • KevinC9998 profile image

      KevinC9998 

      5 years ago

      Very amusing, nice job. Voted up and funny!

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