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Say hello to Pinstripe Tarbaby, a recent MBA recipient from Tufts who happens to be rising fast up ADM’s corporate ladder (or should I say, in this instance, up ADM’s corporate creasewood perch?).
Some say this tyro tarbaby owes his early flush of success entirely to the pinstripe coat he donned upon joining the company. It is, after all, a perfect match to the pinstripe favored by our CEO for his Brioni suits, albeit horizontal rather than vertical. But I say this fellow really knows his stuff. Why, in just a few short weeks, he’s single-handedly developed a new inventory analysis and prediction manual for our conversion plant throughputs. (Now if we could just make sense of it around all the tar splotches!)
As you might guess, with eyes as large and as prominent as these, PT is very good at catching all the subtle body language and visual cues of employee conflict, corporate maneuvering and boardroom back-stabbing. I predict he’ll go far.