Places I would rather be than at the DMV

 A visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles is rarely a task most people enjoy. Usually, it is an errand people dread, put off, and eventually grumble through the whole process. While I can be patient at times, the DMV has used up whatever patience I had left. After sitting at the DMV for several hours, the only thing I could do was think of the top places I would rather be than sitting at the DMV.

I don’t know why, but there are a lot of people out there who are afraid of the Dentist. Okay, maybe I was one of the select few who used to enjoy my annual visit. I would go in, the dentist would do his thing, put some bubblegum flavored stuff on my teeth and send me on my way with a big smile.

Then, one day I was playing basketball and I got hit in the mouth, shattering my two front teeth. With my mouth swollen and bleeding I went to the dentist, to have my teeth reconstructed. Apparently, a very sensitive area, and since they kept chipping and breaking easily, not only did I have to go through the pain once, but had to get them redone on several occasions. Still, I didn’t mind the dentist. A couple year’s ago, I went in for an appointment and found I had gotten my first cavity. The big needle of the anesthetic scared me, so I opted out. How bad could it be? Next time, I opt for the drugs!

Well, I don’t like the dentist office anymore, but I would rather be there having a tooth drilled than spending one more minute at the DMV!

Unless you are a hypochondriac, chances are good, you don’t like going to the doctor’s office. I hate going to the doctor. They pick, they prod, and they ask you all these detailed questions that most people never ever want to discuss. After all, who wants to describe how they have liquid coming out of both ends and a weird rash covering their entire body. Not me!

And if you aren’t there for that kind of reason, you are probably there for a physical. Which means they will take your measurements - yell at you (or as they like to say… discuss) for how much weight you need to lose; how you need to start eating healthier; how you should exercise more; and how you should stop doing whatever you shouldn’t be doing according to medical revelations! Then, they will continue to beat you up ruthlessly by hitting you on the knee with a mallet and nearly amputating your arm off to get your blood pressure. Hopefully by that time, you will have gotten a clean bill of health.

So while the doctor office may also make you wait a ridiculous amount of time for what seems a 3 minute appointment, I would still rather be there than sitting at the DMV

There is nothing worse than spending your hard earned cash on a movie that just plan sucks. Correction… sitting through a bad movie while a bunch of rude, obnoxious, chatty teenagers sit behind you throwing popcorn can give you a bigger headache. Add a few kicks to the back of your chair and you are probably ready to pummel someone.

Yet, the pain you must endure is still much more tolerable than spending more time at the DMV.

We all know the feeling. You’ve spent most of the day sweating up a storm. It is time to cool off. So you go to a public pool and dive on in. The water feels cool and clean on your skin. When your head bounces back above the surface, your eyes sting from the high levels of chlorine saturating the water. Hey, there are a ton of people in the pool so it is expected.

Suddenly, as you are casually swimming (or just bouncing through the crowded water) you notice a warm spot. Yep, that was probably a fresh batch of pee you just walked through!

So, while it may be a disgusting thought, I would still rather walk through that warm spot (after all, it has been disinfected by the chlorine) than waste more time at the DMV!

There is a specific reason why this is the number one place I would rather be than sitting at the DMV. The reason - because I can not think of anything more stupid than sitting on a freeway. After all, you should be doing 70 MPH, so the fact that traffic all doing 70 MPH would at one point casually slow down to a crawl until you are actually parked in an area you should be driving in seems downright ridiculous.

The ability to spend 5 hours to go 15 miles is almost incomprehensible to someone who is not used to rush hour traffic. When someone asks how far away a place is and you must respond in drive time instead of miles seems outrageous. Yet, you would only truly understand the pure frustration if you have every been stuck on the freeway. The problem is… this is a regular occurrence. This isn’t because of an accident up a couple miles or bad weather. This is just the way of life.

So, regardless of how bad I hate being stuck in traffic… I would definitely prefer to be parked on the freeway than sitting at the DMV.

So by now you have probably figured out that I am beyond disgusted with sitting at the DMV. Recently, I had an appointment to get my license changed over. My appointment was for 9:40 a.m. and two hours later I was finally being seen. If I had walked in and waited my turn on a first come first serve basis, I think I would have been a bit more understanding. But, having an appointment and still waiting that long seems a bit uncalled for.

Most people despise the DMV, and I can’t say I blame them. Running this errand is almost guaranteed to waste a whole day… so I hope you have nothing planned. Here’s hoping your DMV experiences are much better than mine… and if not, you can imagine all the places you would rather be than sitting in the DMV!