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How to Play Hard to Get

Updated on December 28, 2007
Photo Courtesy of Jon Aldinger
Photo Courtesy of Jon Aldinger

You want to play hard to get?

Playing games at the beginning of a relationship is a 100% guaranteed way to create a long-lasting, healthy relationship.

No matter what anyone says, honesty is not the best policy. You need to get down and dirty, rolled in honey, to catch your bird.

The most time honored, effective method for catching your, lover, is to play hard to get.

Photo Courtesy of Made Underground
Photo Courtesy of Made Underground
Photo Courtesy of Made Underground
Photo Courtesy of Made Underground
Photo Courtesy of Eszter Hargittai
Photo Courtesy of Eszter Hargittai
Photo Courtesy of Steve Bissonnette
Photo Courtesy of Steve Bissonnette
Photo Courtesy of Jeremy Clarke
Photo Courtesy of Jeremy Clarke

Simple Games You Can Play

Once you have focused in on your prey, you need to do everything in your power to let him or her know you are not even remotely interested in a romantic relationship. A wonderful way of doing this is to pretend that you simply don't see this person - act like he or she does not even exist.

You need to act as though your life is very important and what you are doing at the moment requires too much concentration for you to be able to pay any attention to your future love.

Eye contact is No No when you first begin playing the Hard to Get Game.

Next make sure this person has a way to contact you. Get a friend, or pay someone, to give your potential mate your phone number or email address. By now, he or she will be dying to call you (see what the power of ignoring someone can do?).

After you have ignored your love for a suitable period of time, you can start throwing him or her small tidbits. Flash a little smile, make a little comment that shows you remembered a small detail about the person, or hold hands at a dinner party.

Do not answer the phone! Let it go to voicemail. Don't reply to the emails.


At the beginning, you should not be readily available. Even if the first date was fabulous, do not let this person know. Act like your life is really busy. Wait a while, then call or email back.

Apologize for not calling or emailing back earlier, explaining how you have been so busy. Give details about all of the fabulous stuff you have been up to, then maybe be available for something with him or her later in the week.

Next, you need to make sure you and your crush get to hang out together in a group setting. Meet up at a party, a bar, or a concert with your friends.

Show up to the event late because, of course, your life is so full and busy. Then, latch onto another friend and live it up. Laugh like you love life, like you have a wonderful sense of humor, like you are carefree as can be. Have a ball with anybody and everybody but your love interest. He or she will see how fabulous you are this way.

If your crush isn't eating out of your hand by the end of the night, you have one more card you can play:

Make out with someone else in front of everyone. This way, your lover to be will see just how irresistible you are.

Ready, set, play dating games! Good luck out's a jungle!

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    • profile image


      5 years ago

      i love when woman is hard to get

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Home run! Great slgnuigg with that answer!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      women that play hard to get, will always wind up loosing at the end.

    • profile image

      franko says 

      6 years ago

      it is very sad nowadays that there are so many LOSER WOMEN today in this world. especially that i live down the SHORE, there are so many women think THAT THEY ARE ALL THAT. like i have said, SUCH LOSERS.

    • profile image

      very true 

      6 years ago

      women that play hard to get, certainly need to GROW UP. so many women today, now need to be MUCH MORE EDUCATED like they use to be years ago. this is the reason why many of us men are having TROUBLE, meeting a decent woman today.

    • profile image

      I raged 

      6 years ago

      The beginning was alright, then at the end it got retarded

      But yea playing games is good. Want the truth?

      Girls like creating obstacles

      Boys like surpassing them

      The problem is most men are too pussy to realize that girls throw out these obstacles for them to pass, and they chicken out

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Playing hard to get works great for me. With sooo many pretty girls out there, why stress yourself over one? If she wants you she needs to work for your attention otherwise kick her to the curb and move on to the next.

    • profile image

      Billy bob 

      7 years ago

      If I saw you making out with someone else, your history

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      These steps are so stupid and lame..

      they're not helpful..

      instead trust me.. they'll ruin your future relationships..

      that not what playing hard to get means..

      and that's not how you play it..

      make out with someone else ? what the HELL?!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Im gonna try this:) cuz I heard this really hot guy was gonna ask me out after the dance (which was yesterday) and then this other kid asked him if he would ever go out wit me and he said "fuck no" so he decided to do that game... two can play this:)

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      guys honestly ! yes i do i agree playing hard to get is the best to get a mans attention

      hey women see what men here commented.. they do agree that playing games do work so why do we women waste our time and emotions on being seruios with men

      play hard to get and feel stress-free

      how an easy act

      if a man ignores you, ignore him , he probaply would chase u and if not kick him to the curb

    • thehands profile image

      Jorge Vamos 

      8 years ago

      Haha. I hate it when people do this to me.

    • avangend profile image


      8 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      This was hilarious once I realized it was satirical.

      Sadly, I did not understand this from the beginning, since there are actual blogs/hubs/websites/books/companies devoted to ideas like this one. And they are completely serious. Soap operas (and I count One Tree Hill, the OC, etc. as soap operas) run off of relationship "rulebooks" with interesting social physics...

    • iskra1916 profile image


      9 years ago from Belfast, Ireland.

      Ha, ha !

      I think you should enter a big "Satire at Work" sign at the top of your hub in red ink for the benefit of those with no sense of humour....

      But then again, they would probably think you were selling something and bombard you with their credit card numbers, addresses & security pins! Lol!

      Excellent hub ! Top Marx !

    • Paulipopo profile image


      9 years ago from Abuja, Nigeria

      stacie the problem with your approach is that it might send the wrong signals to a truly qualified crush.

      Imagine the feeling of being ignored and disrespected some guys might fail to see that one is just playing hard to get and might lose interest in the chase

    • profile image

      Emma McArthur 

      9 years ago

      i think this great i really liked the comment about checkers,

      I have played many hard-to-Get games and this is by far the most efficient,

      How would you go about this if you are intrested in the other gender?

      Is it the same techniques?

      Thank you very much for you time and effort you put into making the Fabulous Page. It is very much apriciated

      when i first read it i completely understtod

      Thank you very much :)

      Any lesbians contact me

      Thanks again

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      9 years ago from Seattle

      I just love it when people don't get it. So amusing.

    • profile image

      NN Portugal 

      9 years ago

      "A wonderful way of doing this is to pretend that you simply don't see this person - act like he or she does not even exist."

      :/ This is the way of starting a relation? What are you? 12 years old?

      I am 35 years, and trust me, if a woman "pretend" that she doesn’t even see me, its because she doesn’t have the maturity do have an adult relationship.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Women only play games because they are so insecure. Every woman who has played games with me never got anywhere with me.

    • profile image

      Jimmy Amato 

      9 years ago

      oh wow lol

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Even if it is in just shows how fake/sick the person is. Maylinda...if you play the game right you can just end up getting that much more hurt in the end.

      I have a friend who tried to play this stupid game with me almost 10yrs ago. She recently contacted me, crying.... wishing the 2 of us got married, instead of to her abusive husband. Do NOT play games w/eachother!! Be real and enjoy your mutual crush that much sooner!!

    • Maylinda Arons profile image

      Maylinda Arons 

      10 years ago

      Some games work... if you play them right, of course ;)

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      haha. yes, one author from the rules did get divorced. and one(not sure which) got sued for $5 million for, i believe, posting comments on the internet about some guys business(?)

      games are for petty + insecure people who need attention. subtle + innocent little teasing is fun, but only "after" a relationship has started.

      seriously, do you really want someone who makes out with another right in front of you to get your attention? at some point, we all have to grow up.

    • twohandtouch profile image


      10 years ago from Everywhere!

      hahaha.... that's so great.

      It's a throwback to "the rules"

      didn't one of those ladies get divorced.... not that that means anything..... ;)

    • ferreira4664 profile image


      10 years ago from rhode island

      women are just very different ... i can't read them

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Good, Raven--you shouldn't. This hub is in jest.

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 

      10 years ago from Cabin Fever

      Wow. I could never do this.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      real cool stace. u r true to an extend. we shouldn't spill all the beans during the early days of a relationship, its is like telling a stranger in a bar that u like sleep naked. playin hard-to-get isn't only for the beginners, its for everyone in a relationship. suppose if your partner is loosin interest its the best way to bring him/her back into line (it worked for me). and guys its not an advice, its her experience/knowledge (mine as well). use if u think it will work or else just laugh at it. cheers :)

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Playing hard to get is a MAJOR turn off unless they are ass holes!!! Like My Boyfriend! SHAKUR!!!!!!!!

    • singpec476 profile image


      10 years ago from Not Too Far Away

      I think at the beginning the need to impress over rules commonsense and we don't deliberately lie or play games we just try a little too hard to impress, that's my two cents, great hub Stacey.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Matt, I think there is a difference between honesty and spilling everything at the beginning. You can be honest without telling everything. Veronica, another hubber, expressed it well: "I’m not saying lie. I’m not saying to hide things. I’m saying, there is a certain amount of time you should know someone before the topics of conversation become very intimate and personal."

      You can read her article on this here:

    • mattd241 profile image


      10 years ago

      I'm glad you clarified the intended humor of it because I was thinking to myself, that might work when the hormones are raging and you're still young enough to expend the energy in a chase. However, with age comes a sense of "I ain't got much time left to play chess. How about a fast game of checkers?" If you act like you aren't interested, I'll believe you and I'm moving down the line. The one thing I sadly agree with is the honesty. Confess to someone you find them interesting/appealing too soon and they think you desperate, rather than honest and easily able to express themselves. :)

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Why, About-The-Home? How far did you get by lying? In a relationship? Did it create a lasting, healthy relationship for you?

    • About-The-Home profile image


      10 years ago

      Whoever says Honesty is The Best Policy is probably lying!

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Judy, it's true...I can only hope people get the humor, and don't take it as advice! I may have spurred some serious problems here!

    • Judy Asman profile image

      Judy Asman 

      10 years ago from Orange

      Stacie, truly amusing. I know you're kidding, but seriously, when adults take advice of this nature seriously, it's like asking a pubescent child for tips on building a lasting relationship.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Scotty, I wouldn't want someone like that either. You know I wrote this in jest, right? Good for you to avoid a relationship with someone who wasn't serious.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      I had a girl do this to me once. I never talked to her again. Screw that loose female, fooling around with someone in front of me knowing I liked her, I wouldn't want any messed up woman like that.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Kwame, what is your definition of everything? As a woman myself, I can think of quite a few things I don't want.

    • KwameG profile image


      10 years ago from MS

      IJ is correct, women want everything and plenty of it...however, most men enjoy the chase, to a certain extent

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      IJ, interesting idea. Are you male or female?

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Women like what they cant have so as long as you play that card and act like you dont want it trust me will have females throwing yourself at you.

    • malabikajay profile image


      10 years ago from Pune

      coollllllllllll...........pls do visit mine also and let me know do u like taht??

    • poseidon profile image


      10 years ago

      It's like a strategy game...thanx

    • Angela Harris profile image

      Angela Harris 

      10 years ago from Around the USA

      Funny Hub- the photos are great.

    • Mark Knowles profile image

      Mark Knowles 

      10 years ago

      Hehe... Now I understand females better, LOL I of course would never consider playing these type of games. :D

    • Whitney05 profile image


      10 years ago from Georgia

      I'm not a big game player unless I can win. ;-) But I try not to play them in relationships, but sometimes subconsciously they arise... :-/

    • profile image

      Marye Audet 

      10 years ago


      I don't play games, have never played them and have been married (an in mutually in love) for 28 years this March.

      I guess there are benefits to being old.

    • cgull8m profile image


      10 years ago from North Carolina

      Hilarious but it is true, it is a complex game like a chess game. Cheers :)

    • funride profile image

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      Thank you you´ve make me laugh :-))

      I supose that any relationship who hasn´t games anymore is not a healthy one!

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      Maddie, that is so true.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish MS 

      10 years ago from USA. Member of Asgardia, the first space nation, since October 2016

      Exactly right Maddie!

    • Maddie Ruud profile image

      Maddie Ruud 

      10 years ago from Oakland, CA

      Too funny. What's even more amusing is that often the people who state on the first date that they don't like games are the ones who end up being the most drama.


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