The Day the Keywords Died, a Ditty Dirge for Blackhat SEO and Other Silly Internet-Themed Poems

I have a tendency to write short, snarky poems about the Internet and the people one finds in a computer-age world online for my own and my friends' amusement. They're usually much too crude, under-developed, or far too misshapen to share online but I decided, what the Hell, these three aren't terrible so I may as well put them out there.

The first poem is about people who use their online quasi-anonymity to be jerkholes. The second makes fun of folks lamenting the end of search engine algorithm loopholes that allowed tactics like keyword stuffing to make junk articles, even word salad, popular. The last is a grumpy complaint about Internet trolls who hide behind patriotism and religion.

Enjoy!

Anonymity has loosened your tongue like wine.
In truth, it's more like drinking wood alcohol to dull the pain,
both are all fun and games until you go blind.
So save your anonymity for the greater gain.
Wrap up in it to speak out for those without voices.
Grasp it firmly to protect the innocent from harm.
Sink into it to keep open good choices
for people without enough charm
to get by on talent and character alone.
Use it as a shield when truth could bring loss of life
and there's more to learn than is known.
Embrace anonymity if it eases strife.
But for heaven's sake don't make the mistake
of thinking of anonymity as a throne,
a place of safety and power
from which bullshit may be sewn,
an unassailable, pristine tower
above all worry about what may be reaped.
Otherwise, move your digits from the keys
and avoid the Internet, please.

_{by Kylyssa Shay}

In Google's e-lec-tronic eyes,
the pipes they are a-playin.
The SEO went in disguise
and it went too far a-strayin.
The bloggers' tears
they are a flowin.
They've known for years
how things they are a-goin,
that SEO, it would be dyin,
keywords withered on the vine
and now they're a-cryin,
"Remember when that blog was mine
and the writin' dinna matter?
Remember when the sales were a-high
and simple, senseless patter
was plenty enough to get us by?"
Oh, canny lad, why did ye do it?
Oh, canny boy, did ye not know it?
H'ain't you heard it, even yet?
People make up the Internet.

_{by Kylyssa Shay}

Go away you stinking troll
I smell your burning strawmen,
I think you're Edgar Allen Poe.
Think you're above the law man?
The answer's one big no.
Bigotry isn't freedom
and it's no one's protected right.
You don't get to choose the medium
when the suit only comes in white
with crosses on the lapel
and a flag above the heart.
Your eyes are full of apple
and your mouth is full of pie.
You know how to play the part,
and you won't feel safe until you die.

_{by Kylyssa Shay}