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Poetry From a Past Life - Part 2

Updated on October 14, 2016

The Background

It was hard to see then, but God had a plan for my life. I know that now. I see how He put the two phases of my life together. But then - then it was a different story. Life seemed so useless, without purpose. What was my life then was uniquely mine. God used past situations to draw me out so I could clearly see Him. For that, I'm forever grateful.

That being said, this was written during one of my darker moments. Feelings of rejection, hopelessness, loneliness, and extreme self-pity covered me. During those dark times, I soothed myself with music. Many of the song lyrics I wrote during that time were of a commercial nature - written to be performed by my band. That was not the case for this particular piece. This was born out of sheer pain and a loss of self-identity.

This was written while I was stretched out atop the hood of my 1969 Plymouth Fury looking skyward, hoping to see a glimmer of hope from the heavens. What I saw instead was a confused pattern of clouds dotting a brilliant, blue sky. And I can only wonder why.

Source

Magic Patterns

Magic patterns gainst the sky,
And I can only wonder why
They left me here.
Glittering diamonds spread their light,
And echo the day that's turned to night
And left me here in a world of no one.


Source

Friendly faces have all gone on.
Smiles and shadows linger long,
And leave me here.
But smiles and shadows just aren't real,
Just the loneliness I feel
That's left me here In a world of no one.


Breathless beauty of mountain scenes,
A fertile valley turned to green
That's left me here.
Days of never ending sun
Pretending that I'm having fun,
But I'm still here in a world of no one.

Now what's left of my shattered dreams,
The silly games and the useless schemes . . .

Magic patterns against the sky,
And I can only wonder why
They left me here.
But smiles and shadows just aren't real -
Just the emptiness I feel
That's left me here in a world of no one
And now I'm the only one.

Comments

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    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      21 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks, Lawrence!

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 

      21 months ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Awesome.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Glad you were able to stop by, Tammy. Yes, now I'm never alone, as the hymn writer says.

    • Tamarajo profile image

      Tamarajo 

      22 months ago

      That is beautiful poetry. It is clear that God answered your loneliness but you did a lovely artful expression of your loneliness at that time. Good poetry invites one in to feel that expression and this poem does that.

      God bless

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      I appreciate you stopping by and commenting, Faith. Yes, we are never alone. The Lord is always near.. Thank you, sister.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      22 months ago from southern USA

      I do so enjoy reading your poetry for you are quite a natural. You do describe loneliness so well here and how we tend to put on our happy face, but thankfully our sweet Lord knows just exactly how we feel. It is comforting to know Jesus will never forsake us or leave us.

      Looks like I have some catching up to do here!

      Peace and blessings

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks for stopping by, Blossom. You're right - with Jesus as our best friend, who else or what else could we possibly want. It just took me a while to figure that out.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Hi Dora,

      God works all things together for good. This is one example. Sometimes we just learn the hard way. Thanks for coming around to visit!

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      22 months ago from Victoria, Australia

      Loneliness must be horrible, and you express that feeling so well in your poem. How blessed we are when we have Jesus as our best Friend, and He is always with us.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      22 months ago from The Caribbean

      I still think that it's a blessing to be able to express such loneliness. Then, it helped to shift your focus from other actions which could be harmful, and now you can appreciate it as really good poetry.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      You're welcome, Bill. Hopefully, there has been some improvement in my writing over the years. When I look back, I see where I've come as a person - not sure about the writing, but I try. As always, I'm glad to have you drop by for a visit!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      22 months ago from Olympia, WA

      It's always interesting to read earlier works of a writer. Unfortunately, my writing career only spans six years, so I don't have any "archives." Thanks for sharing one of yours.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks, Lady. It's all part of life. Wish I could have figured that out then. Oh, well. Better late than never!

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Me too, Lori. I know you get it, but He's changed everything. I still have hard times sometimes, but He's there to go through it with me. thanks for the visit.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      22 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Yes, Ruby, we all go through times like that - and they always pass. Glad you were able to come by for a visit!

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 

      22 months ago from On planet Earth

      Very nice...I guess we all feel like this some point in our lives.

      Wonderful poetry ;)

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      22 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      Another poignant poem. "pretending I'm having fun." We do that to hide the pain and it can be exhausting. I'm so glad you found Christ.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      22 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I felt the loneliness in this piece. How many times have I looked at the moving clouds and wondered why me. Thank goodness those times pass and we are able to see the beauty around us. Beautifully penned.

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