Obama is Watching!
It All Began a Couple of Months Ago
I would like to begin by stating that I am a normal, stable and sane man. I do not make idle accusations, nor do I believe in evil spirits or the boogeyman. I share this information with you, not because I seek fame or recognition. Instead, I offer this so that you may understand the fear that President Obama has brought into my life.
It was sometime in August that I first realized that Obama was following me. It was rather subtle at first, I would notice him as I was reading the news headlines on Yahoo. As I was reading the story, Obama's picture would slowly creep across the screen. I would click the photo away, only to see it return moments later. That friendly smirk smiling at me as he sailed across my computer screen.
At first I thought it was nothing more than a gesture of friendship, a pleasant greeting as I began my day. "Look everybody", I thought, "my friend Barack is here to send me morning cheer!". In truth, it gave me a warm feeling inside. Whenever I had company over, I would log into Yahoo News just so I could show off my new friend. I was so proud.
Then It All Changed!
However, things slowly began to change. As time went on, I began to realize that my new friend had something more sinister in mind. Obama was popping up on my computer screen with greater frequency, not only on Yahoo, but every website I visited. Always looking me in the eye as he smiled that "trust me" smile. In time, my excitement turned to fear and I began to avoid the internet. I could not understand why my friend was doing this to me.
I began to spend my time watching television, trying to get my mind off this uncomfortable situation. I was safe on Comcast, or at least I thought I was safe. Then it happened! I was right in the middle of Mysteries of the Universe, when suddenly Obama was larger than life upon my television screen. Only this time the stakes were higher.
Get Your Election Humor!
Yes, now Obama was not only smiling at me. Now he was also talking, telling me about all the great things he could offer me. This new development really got me worried, I wondered why my new friend needed me so much. There had to be a reason, he sounded so desperate, what could he possibly want from me?
Obama Invades My Twitter Feed
That is right, America! President Barack Obama has now moved onto my twitter feed in an attempt to get to me. I do not follow Obama on twitter, yet that has not stopped our President from reaching me via my feed. Several times a day, he sends me a tweet and when he is not tweeting at me, his lovely wife is.
So, not only am I now being stalked, but he has recruited his family to help. I can not help but wonder if there are other victims out there who have yet to come forward with their stories. This all seems to well coordinated to be an isolated event.
What Will Happen Next?
The ordeal of the last few months has turned me into a fearful man. I no longer surf the internet or watch cable television. I keep the window blinds closed, terrified that I will see his face peering into my window. I no longer answer the phone, for fear of hearing that familiar voice on the other end of the line.
I have closed myself into my bedroom, with no connection to the outside world. I live my life in total fear. With a little luck, once November 7th arrives the nightmares will subside and life will return to normal.
Update - The Stalking Continues...
Yes, through out the course of the election I believed Obama would ease up on following my every move. I was certain he was only trying to scare me into voting for him. However, that was not to be. I have now learned that he is monitoring my phone calls and emails. Even worse, he has expanded his list of targets to include not only me, but the entire world. He even has a government agency, the NSA, to assist him in this madness.
Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine from Germany and her account of her encounter with Obama sent chills down my spine. Like myself, she thought Obama was a trusted friend. That is until she began hearing heavy breathing and other odd noises on her phone line. It turns out Obama was listening into her private calls, a bit scary if you ask me.
Now I lay awake at night, unable to fall asleep. I only wonder if I will ever escape his watchful eye. Folks, this trusted man is scaring people around the world. If you, or someone you know has experienced similar events, I implore you to come forward with your story. You do not have to suffer alone in silence.