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Pretense Shuffleboard

Updated on November 30, 2019
heather92383 profile image

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 15 years.

Woke up this morning in such a fright

Startled at the reflection in the mirror

Everything was completely uncouth about it

Hair standing up on ends like it was struck by lightning

A cross between Don King and Albert Einstein

If that's such a dreadful thing to vision

A corrupt promoter and a genius

Wondered what those society matrons would think

Disappointed that hair and make-up wasn't picture perfect

What if someone came to visit in the middle of the night

A delusion of epic proportions because even perfectionist

Needed to have the opportunity to relaz

And let their hair down so to speak

Would never do so; always had to completely on point

Everyone always expected the best from her

Perfect party planner and hostess with the most skills

All elements planned to a complete and spooky science

Nothing was out of place; not even their hair or clothes

Not a single wrinkle was to be found, or there would be consequences

Rules and regulations meant to be followed

Not allowed to let the masses know if anything was wrong

A perfect presentation of Mrs. Manners

Dressed to impress in DVF red floor-length stunner

Brand new black Aerosoles two inch heels

Strutted into the crystal flavored ballroom

On the strength of ninja grade Nunchucks

A quarter smile plastered on with Gorilla Glue

Controlled emotion without giving away a winning hand

Bluffed the hostess into quiet illusion of security

Made them get short term amnesia after last week

Plate throwing incident with the intended target

Locked in their chair in slack jawed silence

Embarrassed their dinner companion

Dropped the disguise of politeness

No more passing of the salt or the pepper

Another meal of braised beef and roasted potatoes

Can no longer stomach pretending to be cordial

Meal not even worth $40 price tag

Hoisted the pathetically expensive plate

Dumped it over the former partner's head

And left this charade behind for good

Prepare for McDonald's and sweatpants

Now, that's a Blockbuster night.

An image of lethal beauty.
An image of lethal beauty.

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